Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

to too tue two 2 tanner day!

HEY People and Dogs and Girl Girl WHATSUUUUUUUUP?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO I live in like this place its called a Desert. This is not a DESSERT like Ice Creams but a sandy hot place where its dry a LOT. BUT yesterdays there was raining!!!! So MOM said Lets put on your Raining Coats ok? WELL

HERE I am but JOey said NO NO NO and would not go outside! He is BAD!

Look at all that rainering! It was a puddle of rain in my yard and in mom's plantings!

I was like OMG this is like dark and raining and all these birds were in our yard trying to eat some stuff and Joey wasnt there to try ot eat them with me and I was like

WHATSUUUUUUUPPPPP BIrds you don't have a raining coat and now you are all wets and dRipping!!! SO then I went back in that house to tell Joey...

He said, Leave me ALONE. OMG he says that like 39 times a day and I just laugh and say OK OK for now I will ok?!

I hope you all having one of These Coats for keeping Dry in the raining!!!!!

Monday, July 30, 2007

monday funny

So do you know what makes me almost as happy as hot dogs and farting??? Making fun of Tanner!

And when he makes it THIS easy, why shouldn't I?? Could he look any more special?? I mean, why would you sit like that? I thought he couldn't get any goofier looking...then he did this...

GOODNESS gracious what is wrong with my freak of a brother?! I hope it makes you all happy that you DON'T live with him!!

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Sunday not a funday

Mom is trying to make us feel better because she said we always make people laugh and that everyone needs a smile right now. Marvin's Mom is so sad she said she might not want to blog anymore and that makes us even MORE sad! We don't want to lose another blogging friend. So I decided to write a poem about things that make me happy today, in honor of all my sad blog friends and Marvin the great poet.

Hot Dogs, Hot Dogs how I love you
After I eat you my butt smells like poo

Look at you delicious stick of meat
You just might be my favorite treat

For you hot dog I will make a doofus face
Then later on I will fart all over the place

oh hot dog oh hot dog for that moment I will smile
you helped to make me happy for just a little while

Saturday, July 28, 2007

We are sad, goodbye dear Oscar

My aunt left this morning and then I found out about the passing of our dear friend Oscar the Airedale. We are just going to stay in bed for today. We will check out all the dogs and girl girl's blogs when we feel better.

joey gets tired begging for cheese and uses my leg to rest his head

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

rings and things

Mom said THANKS to all the nice comments everyone made about her new shiny ring. She said she has NO idea when the wedding will be or anything since it took Dad 7 years to get this far she can't see them rushing into any wedding plans! All I know is I better get some cake because everyone keeps talking about how GREAT the cake is!!

So Mom is all like happy and junk so she is buying us lots of cool stuff and our Aunt bought us stuff and we have been getting TONS of treats. I wish my Dad would have thought of this ring business a LONG time ago!

Our Aunt got us these amazingly delicious cookies. They are SO good!

Mom got us these, but we didn't get to try them yet!

This next picture is not for the faint of is a new Cuz.

This is NOT the Cuz I know and love, not even close. I am not sure how I feel about this yet. :/

Now THIS toy is by Planet Dog and it is an Orbee toy! If you remember, Toby the Little Dude sent us an Orbee bone and Mom was so excited because she had not seen the Orbee stuff around here. WELL since she has not been going to work and has been running off shopping with our Aunt all day she found TWO stores that have the Planet Dog stuff and I know that Gus was looking for them too, SO GUS, go to La Grande Orange in PHX and Bark Avenue Pet Supply in MESA. If you need more info message us!

ANYWAY on top of all this, Mom got us these amazing Willo biscuits, they are HUGE!

I refused to have my photo taken so here are some embarrassing pics of the DOOFUS!

He is such a MESS

Seriously, WHATSSSUP Tanner??

I swear he needs a bib!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I am the tanner and I am the reporter

So like its been a crazy days of lots of things happening, LIke Joey going to the Emerge and See doctor because his eye was all messed up and like HE was totally out of it being mr Shakes and all that. But then he was so totally OK and ready to be like WHATSSUUP Tanner lets play.

My AUNT is here who is not aunt patty but this one is Michelle and she gives me lots of treats when Mom is not looking and even though Joey SAYS I am the fatterest she still says OK have some of my food!

BUT oK this is the excitering part that JOEY said I would talk about. Mom and Dad and like a million other family people went to a place to eat without JOEY and ME and when they Come home MOM had this thing on her finger that means that Joey aND me are not going to be illigeterate um illiterate ummm that basically Joey AND me Are going to have a married MOm and DAD!

SO it looks like that and MOM says it makes her HAPPYEREST so that is good because My MOM is nice and makes me happy too.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Welcome a new Boston Terrier friend

I just wanted everyone to know that I am back to normal and that I feel fine! Tanner has some exciting news he will tell you all about tomorrow, but for today I would like to introduce a new dog blogger! ANOTHER Boston!!

This is my friend Winston

Please go say HI to him and make him feel welcome! I told him to join up on the DWB site!

I am trying to keep up with blogs but Mom is so busy! I am commenting whenever I get a minute!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

That dog's got Woe :(

So yesterday Mom and Dad went to the airport to pick up my Aunt and when they got home I looked weird and was acting weird. My eye was all pink and strange looking and I was shaking and spacing out and just not being the usual Mr. Stains. Mom and Dad had no idea what was happening so they made an appointment at the emergency vet! Well, everything at the Vet was normal, temperature, vitals, even the INSIDE of my pink swelling eye looked ok. So what Mr Emergency Vet said was that I probably got stung/bitten by a bug OR I smashed into something and had 'trauma' to my face. I was eating a little slower but still eating and drinking and going to the bathroom ok, so I got to go home and Mom and Dad and the Aunt gave me lots of love and pets and snuggles.

SO you might ask maybe I just smashed into a wall on purpose because I was upset about this intrusion into my daily life? Well, the parents will never know for sure, but I am feeling a LOT better today and my eye is not so swollen anymore and I am not acting funny.

I am still a little sleepy but other than that I am just fine. Mom and Dad were real scared though, so I am milking that for all it is worth.

Also, my Aunt got a brand new suitcase to fill with stuff to take back to PA, hmm that kind of gives me an idea...

Saturday, July 21, 2007

but saturday nights alright for fighting???

Mom said we had to STOP fighting because we are getting a VERY important visitor? WHA? Very important?? Like Wally or Ike or Sunshade????

NO, Mom's sister is coming here all the way from PENNSYLVANIA! I got real excited because let me show you what happened last time she came:

the dogs loved lisbeth...or at least her dried bananas
Her poodle mix had these dried bananannanananananas and she and the little puppy fed me like 3093450 of them and they were DELICIOUS!


BUT Mom said she is not bringing her little humans with her? She is coming alone because the little humans are staying with their dad for a week! WHAT!

So we can't fight and we have to 'be good'??? BUT Mom is off of work the whole week so we get to sleep in and um I dunno what else but it better be good! We might not be able to visit all the dog blogs as much but please be patient we will comment when we can and rest assured Tanner will be posting on Tuesday and I will be posting as much as I can with Mom being busy!

Friday, July 20, 2007

Buster cube!

So Tanner just couldn't wait to get his paws on that buster cube because it was filled with FOOD and he is a fat kid. He was brave enough to play with it out in the open even though he knew I was after his neck for posting those photos of me.

I couldn't take it anymore and took off after him and he went to "hide" again.

Where did this dog learn how to hide??? Must be the same place where he learned the fine skills of Doofusism.

I see you under there you freakin BRAT!

He even took the buster cube under there with him! What a Doofus!

I am just going to sit RIGHT HERE until he comes out!

Thursday, July 19, 2007


We interrupt our regularly scheduled fighting to bring you this blog entry because we got a PRESENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It came in the mail from our very good friend Toby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Toby is a little dude in Canada and he is AWESOME!

The Doofus came out of hiding pretty fast when this box showed up!!!

Inside of the brown box was a fancy box that Mom says she wants to keep and I said that would be ok even though her name is not on the card ANYWHERE at all.

The card looked like this. On the front there is a little dog like that Liberty Princess of Sparkle if she had a wig on! The card said that Toby thinks I am a cool dude and that I am funny and make his Mom laugh. Oh, Tanner too, I guess.

vancouver letter opener
The first thing Mom pulled out was this thing, I was so excited, its a SHANK so I can fight back against the DOOFUS! What Mom? THIS IS A LETTER OPENER? Are you SURE? It says Vancouver on the top which I think is french for SHANK, but we can just pretend its for opening letters to humor Mom!

Look at that BONE! Mom has been looking for the Orbee toys all over and can't find them so she was SO excited about this. Whatever, hand it over!

The Doofus tried it out, look at his DOOFUS face, geeeez!

We got this thing too.

Mom seems to think I havent figured this out but what SHE hasn't figured out is that it just has our crappy dog food in it, so why would I care to get that out of there? The Doof is just clueless as usual.

On to the good stuff, the TREATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't wait to get my teeth around these things! Mom said they look almost good enough for her to try. I said you get the box lady, lets not be greedy!

We got THESE too! GEEZ Toby you are the bestest friend a guy could ever have!!

I got a chance with the orbee bone too, and now...

We resume our scheduled FIGHT! WHERE ARE YOU DOOFUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

All I have to say to Tanner is...

You can run, but you cannot HIDE!!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

seriously dudes!

DUDES and Girls and Girl Girl WHATSSSUUP!!!! On yesterday Joey said OH Tanner has funny face and Funny smile and I am going to say funny things about his face and then everyone is goiNG to be like HAHA that is one Funnierest Tanner. now IT will be MY turn for funnierest Faces of JOEY!

This one is called I am nOT a Dog I am a SEAL!

I shouldn't have had that last beer.....
This one is CAlled, Pass mE another BEER!

This one is called, I am SO mad at this cuz that I am going to make THIS face!!!!!!

Joey, let me help you!!

Do you think I look too dirty???

mom says my teeth look funny, I think they look great!
This one is called, I better go hide now!!!!! !bYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, July 16, 2007

Tanner is the doofus

I tried to find pictures of Tanner smiling, but he really has too much FACE to have a nice smile.

There was this...
sometimes, my face gets stuck!
What is he DOING? This is his, 'I am a Doofus' smile.

I got an easter ball, yay!
I guess this is kind of a smile? This must be his, 'I am trying to be as handsome as Joey' smile.

This is his, 'I am wearing a raincoat and I think I just crapped myself' smile.

Here is his, 'my face is always dirty and I am a mess' smile.

no cone
This would be the, 'I just had surgery and I am on drugs' smile.

so hot
This is HIS 'cruisin' smile. I think mine is better!

ha ha, I got the Cuz
Finally this is his, 'I love Cuz' smile. (again, mine is better!!!!!)

Ok I hope you enjoyed this look into the smiling face of a Doofus. Tomorrow you must endure Doofus day!