Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The end of an era....


While Tanner contemplates how much trouble he is in, I'd like to discuss something very important. As you may know my birthday has been a topic of controversy for years as my puppy papers had been misfiled at my grandparent's home. This resulted in the creation of the holiday known as Joey-Palooza. This holiday runs from March 6th to March 9th. The reason is because March 6th is the day Mom said my birthday was and March 9th was when my Dad thought it was.

My friends, hold on to your Puppy Papers have been FOUND! My Dad was right, my real birthday is March 9th! What does this do to Joey-Palooza?!?!!!!

I will talk about this more later, I have a lot to think about and digest. Thank you to Sophie for all of her support and understanding through this trying time.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008


WHATSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP dudes and dudegirls! I had an ideas that I wanted to give allll my friends that McDonalds because you are all SO nice to me and say I am FUNNY! SO I went on the internets to see how to make money FAST and I cannot sells drugs because I don't know what those are so I said I can make a naked picture or 2!!! I went to talk to some dog called Hugh Ruffner and he said I could be in his magazine that looks like this:

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I just had to sign a form and take off my collar. I said OK I see that kinda stuff on HBO!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMDOG I got SO SO much money and I buyed allll that McDonalds!! So here are the photos! MOm said that they are BAD for baby dogs and that maybe LILLIE should not look either, but I said that my WIFE will get a nice pressie with all the money so she will be OK with it I am sure!!!

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This one they said look SEXY I said OK OK like THIS?!?!?!!!! Whatsuppppp BIT*#S I am the Sexy TANNER!!!!!!!!!!

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This one I didn't like SO much because it was WHITE bed and I didn't want to make a stain but I think it came out pretty HOT?! What do you think??!??!?!!

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This one they wanted to put water in the tub and I said NO WAY I HAVE MY PRINCIPLES!! There are somethings I will NOT DO FOR MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FINALLY here is a preview for the VIDEO that you can buy on DVD!!!!!!!!!!!

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playdog from Rhonda on Vimeo.

OMDOG LADIES DID YOU LOVE IT?!?!?! ALso, Mom said if I ever do this again I will be grounded FOREVER EVER. SO I guess next time I need money I will have to find out what drugs are or invent something like the internets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, April 28, 2008

Post Chat Sleep

This weekend we were up chatting away with all of our friends...

Needless to say we are VERY tired...

Tanner will be posting tomorrow about the way he earned the money to pay for all of that McDonalds. Be warned that younger readers may want to skip Tanner Tuesday!

Saturday, April 26, 2008

HOLY CATS!!!!!!!!

Guys, I hope you all come in the chat this weekend it is so fun! While we were chatting away we were INVADED!!!!!!!!!!!

We have had a never ending supply of cat snacks in the backyard since we moved into this house and Tanner LOVES it. I think its kinda gross and so do Mom and Dad. But we have never actually seen the cat that is leaving the poops...until yesterday!!

We spotted him and he high tailed it out of the yard...this is how he escapes...

He climbs on the gate...

Then he slowly saunters across the wall...

And then just drops into the neighbor's yard like he owns the place. I couldn't believe the nerve of that cat! I am going to be watching the backyard like a hawk!

Tanner said he'd help but the Doofus has his eyes closed! He WANTS the cat to come in the yard because he LOVES the cat snacks. argh! I am going to be so busy this weekend guarding the yard and chatting! I hope your weekend is just as exciting!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

McDonalds MANIA!!!

So Tanner offered to bring anydog some McDonalds and boy did you dogs respond! I haven't seen Tanner all day but then he showed up with Mom's camera and it was loaded with photos!!

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He had the biggest bag of McDonalds I have ever seen! He visited every dog and brought them what they ordered!

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Amber wanted just a plain burger, when Tanner showed up she was sleeping so he just dropped it off.

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Pearl and Opal wanted THREE Big Macs and three Fries. I sure hope they don't get a belly ache!

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Asta got her Big Mac and fries and boy did she look happy about it!

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Ike thought he would just take a burger, he seemed a little bummed, probably because he forgot to order fries too.

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Penny asked for some Chicken McNuggets, but Tanner remembered to get enough for Lola and Sherman too.

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Katie wanted breakfast but unfortunately Tanner got up too late, I hope the burger is ok??

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Moco asked for 50 Happy Meals, we sure do apologize but Tanner just couldn't carry that many!

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Penny and Poppy are new friends of ours, but Tanner managed to find their house and drop off some grub for them too!

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Princess Snowball had a burger and fries, I figured the food might not be good enough for a princess, but she sure looks happy!!

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Stan wanted a double cheese burger and a lot of fries delivered by 11am. This confused the Doofus and he didn't know if he wanted 11 burgers and fries by 9 or 11 fries and 2 burgers by Stan just got what Tanner brought him. Stella was kissing up hoping to share!

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Mr T-Bone Beasley lives right by us and we just nominated him for the Awesome Blog of the month. Check him out if you haven't yet!

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Rocky was so excited he met us outside to get his food!

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Simba asked for a Coke too but Tanner spilled it somewhere over Kansas. Sorry to the Army of Four if any got on you!

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Boy and Baby didn't say what they wanted but Tanner got them a Happy Meal so their cute human sister can have the toys. Tanner sure does think better when he has that silly cape on.

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Clover didn't say what she wanted either, but she is still pretty young so a Happy Meal works for her too!

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Huskee asked for 3495987 chicken nuggets, he also couldn't wait and met Tanner outside. I think McDonalds stock must be up today with all the food Tanner got.

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Deefor wanted some burgers. Tanner made sure Arrow was off eating a shoe at the time so Deefor could eat in peace.

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Gus decided he wanted Sonic instead of McDonalds. If you don't know what Sonic is, it is like an old style car-hop drive up place. You might wonder why Gus is apparently sleeping, well this was his THIRD meal from Sonic. Since Gus lives right down the street the Doofus was able to deliver his meals separate and could bring a LOT more, including the slushy drink!

Finally, Tanner had to make a special trip to get Agatha and Archie's meal.
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They wanted: 2 Big Macs,2 GIANT fries, 2 vanilla ice creams in cone, 2 cheesebergers,2 chicken mcnuggets,1 salad(for Aggie)and a fish sandwich for Archie.

Wow Tanner was busy. Since he took the time to visit all of you dogs and bring some food, what we want YOU to do is find one doggy in our post that you haven't visited and go say HI!!!

Now I have to go figure out how Tanner paid for all of this food....

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Somewhat Wordless Wednesday

terrier Zen
We have had a crazy week here so I am practicing a little Mango Man Meditation. Oh yeaaah.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

SUPER TANNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMDOG WHATSSSSSSSSUUUUUPPPPPPPPPP my friends! So you hear about ME looking out that Door and seeing that dog MOLLY in our neighbor's yard and saying GRRR doggy go back to your house where you live. THen Mom and Dad look and say OOOH NOOOES doggy that is bad street you could be hit so they go and get her and Dad say Tanner is a HERO! I am a HERO! like a SUPER hero! So I have a super hero suit!!!

I am STARS and a cape hero, SUPER TANNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The S is for SUPER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joey said the S is for STUPID since it is backwards, WHATEVER he is just JEALOUS he is not SUPER!

Let me show you how I see Molly and be a hero. I look out this door, see how its nice and ORANGE where our noses are. Mom said that is RUST. whatever that is.

I was looking and I see a doggy and I say....

OMDOG Someone get that Doggy before it gets runned over by fasterest cars!!! Then she was here and you know the rest. SO now that I am done saving lives I am going to go use my cape!!!!

I CAN FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am going to go flyering to Lillie's house and to visit my friend LIberty the Princess of SParkle who lives in FLORIDA again and I am going to go to some VERY important places....

YAHOO! Give me 209395 CHEESEBURGERS and 20923 FRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!! And SuperSize that stuff!!!


SO Joey might be a detective but I am a HERO. If you need saving or um McDonalds, GIVE ME A CALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, April 21, 2008

What in the heck???

About an hour after Molly and her Mom were reunited her Mom came over to bring us a thank you card and brownies. We refused to accept the money she tried to give us but she said she just had to give us something. She had made brownies for her son's birthday and so she brought them to us and Mom and Dad said they were delicious. Now, I would not know because brownies are made of CHOCOLATE, I am not allowed to eat that. I asked Mom why they would bring something I could not eat. She said perhaps the following photo explains...

This was just me welcoming Molly to our house! Saying HELLO good friend and welcome to my yard. Mom said I was RUDE and I got yelled at. hmph.

Mom gave her belly rubs, I think her way of welcoming could be considered rude in some cultures also. I don't see her rubbing her friend's bellies when they come over.

Other than that one outburst of welcoming, I was pretty good and left her alone. For that Mom said we could look at the pawesome card they brought us.

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thank you card
It had a nice note in it thanking us, but the best thanks is not having to hear Molly sitting in the corner crying and knowing she is home with her family! Her brother and sister and her human family sure must be happy. Her brother must be cool since he is named Sherman and Daisey was the name of Tanner's wife's dog sister who went over the rainbow bridge. Next time we walk by their house we will leave some extra peemails in their yard! We like stories with happy endings, but it would have been happier if we got bacon brownies instead of chocolate.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

I need your HELP!!! - UPDATE - Molly is home!!!

UPDATE: Molly's Mom drove through our cul du sac calling and Mom ran outside with Molly. and you should have heard the WOOOOP she let out when she saw her, I thought she might crash her van! She lives one street up from us and now we remember her barking at us in the window when we would go on our walkies!!!! We are SO SO SO happy that Molly is home!!!! She is FIFTEEN years old and belongs to the lady's son and today is his 16th birthday. We are so so happy!!

I need every doggy out there to think good thoughts RIGHT NOW!

This little old girl is at our house right now. Tanner was growling at something and mom and Dad looked out and saw her walking up the street by herself.

She is scared and wants to go home!!

We hung up signs all over the neighborhood, please think good thoughts that someone calls soon to take this pretty girl home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!