Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Monday, October 30, 2006

lambeau has left the building

Well, Lambeau left tonight, but not before Mom could thoroughly humiliate us all.

you cannot make me look at that camera
I will NOT look at that camera.

of course he had to have a shirt!
Mom bought that shirt for Tanner, but he is so fat lately he can't even come close to fitting into it. We need to discuss his weight in another post, but for now we will talk about Lambeau and how Mom just could not get over how cute he was in that shirt. Ok, he is pretty cute. I sure am turning into a softy in my old age.

the neighbors had a party this weekend, joey was NOT happy
In addition to the tornado that was Tanner and Lambeau, our neighbor decided to have a PARTY. First of all, ya me...not invited. Second of all, they were grilling some meat and it smelled SO good. Third and most upsetting was the neighbor's Australian shepards yelling at me over the wall the whole time. Those guys are lucky I could not get out that back gate because stingrays aren't the only thing that can teach an Australian a lesson or two about messing with the wrong animal.

tanner knew to escape lambeau he must seek higher ground
Tanner did finally figure out that to escape Lambeau he just needed to get on the chair.

as he has yet to master the 'lambeau leap'
Cuz there is no leap in this Lambeau just yet.

But there is a whole lotta cute. Geez, listen to me!

Well, here are some videos for those of you who can view them. Just a tip, I am not actually in any of them so if you don't want to watch I completely understand

This was when he first got here and Tanner was going easy on him. Toward the end it was like wrestlemania around here.

Lambeau tries to catch a butterfly

I have no clue what is going on at the beginning of this, but I know that at the end Tanner got in trouble for eating that stick.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

report from hotel stains

did you notice the mess he is making??
So he is still here and he is making a huge mess. Do you see this??

lambeau is pooped.  he has never seen so many toys
He just falls asleep in the middle of the floor all the time. I think uncle Jim needs to get him checked for narcolepsy!

He and Tanner are complete DORKS.

dirty dogs
They went all over the yard this morning, I think Tanner is trying to teach him to pee like a boy instead of squatting like a girl.

can we get out here??
Either that or they are teaming up for an escape.

They sure like to run.

lambeau is not sure what he should be doing
He still doesn't know what to do when Tanner and I start barking at all the people that walk down our street. He has barked about 3 times since he has been here. He needs to work on that skill.

He is pretty good at being cute though.

While they rest and dream of doing little guy stuff...

joey keeps watch while tanner and lambeau rest
I will be here protecting them

Friday, October 27, 2006

hotel stains no VACANCY!

He has peed on the floor twice, but I gotta admit he is pretty darn cute.

our house guest for the weekend, Lambeau
His name is Lambeau and he is a 13 week old border collie. He will be staying with us until monday. So far he seems afraid of me but I swear he makes these weird little whining noises and it scares the CRAP out of me.

tanner shows lambeau around the yard
He's always moving but mom got a couple of good pics of him.

lambeau gets the best of tanner
Tanner is being real nice with him and letting him tackle him and stuff. He even shares his toys. Notice I am not in the pictures because I still have duties to attend to. Someone must guard the house so its safe for the children to play.

another plant hound
Someone new to blame the plant destruction on!

I am sure there will be 300 more pictures soon!

argh what a way to start the day

are you coming out on THIS side?
My trusty warm wool blankie trapped me in my bed this morning!!

or THIS side?
It didn't help that doofus was RIGHT there going 'are you coming out? are you coming out? are you coming out? are you coming out? are you coming out? are you coming out?'

argh. embarrassing video is below.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

dont even try it

Today we are just hanging out and relaxing.

always on the lookout!
BUT! That does not mean I am not the best watch dog in the don't even try to get near my door!!!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006


So Halloween is coming up, which means lots of dirty little brats will be ringing my doorbell looking for handouts. This will cause Tanner and I to bark like mad for hours on end. Not my idea of a good time.

HOWLoween collar from missy
Although, I do look pretty great in my Howl-O-Ween collar

And doofus looks like a Doofus in his jack-o-lantern shirt (about a minute after this was taken tanner totally peed all over the inside of that shirt, mom had to throw it in the washer. boy was it funny)


My mom told me today that Hotel Stains is open for business again. Our next guest is my new cousin who I have not met yet. He is 13 weeks old and he is a Border Collie. My guess is my uncle will have him long enough to get him trained to gaurd the border to keep those illegal chiahuahuas out and then he will be shipped off to duty.

He gets here on Friday and you can be sure that he and doofus are going to have a GREAT time and I will be getting NO sleep. You can also be sure my mom will take 300 million pictures, so stay tuned.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

sunday is funday


do I hear someone eating?
Mom is waking me up to post on the internet....what does she think she is, my pimp? my boss? Oh ya, she is the one that fills my food dish. *sigh*

joey gets tired begging for cheese and uses my leg to rest his head
I tried to look very pathetic while mom was eating cheese. Notice that tiny tear I shed. It didn't work!

another shot
Doofus had to copy me, of course. His eye is so gross, but mom said he is allergic to stuff in our yard. So maybe he should go back to Ohio, right?

$4.99 at Ikea, I couldn't resist.  Yes it looks like a cat but I swear it said Cat/Dog tent!!
Mom got this stupid thing at Ikea. She is CRAZY. I won't even go near it, I mean what kind of dog would go inside a house obviously made for cats???

Tanner is in the house!
Oh geeeez...

what a mess
The Doofus likes to go outside when the sprinklers are on and then makes a huge mess on mom's floor.

i wonder who did it?
Ya, Tanner there is nobody else out there to blame this one on. Sorry. I mean, I don't know how my mom puts up with how bad he is...

i sure wasn't eating any plants...nope
Whats that? What is stuck to my chin??? ummmmm.....I must have uh tripped and fell and my face landed in your plants mom??? um or uhhh, ya Tanner pushed me...and I fell in your flowers.


Thursday, October 19, 2006


shock and awe?

Mom just told me that dad's Aunt Patty is coming here at know what happened the last time Patty came to Arizona???

the doofus


Wednesday, October 18, 2006

I wanna soak up the suuuuun

but he is just end to end with little tans
It is just BEAUTIFUL here in Arizona today. We are real lucky that mom and dad come home from work at lunch time so we can go out and do some sunning.

this looks like joey is twisted...
I hope this brought some sunshine into your day.

Wait, what? Someone must have slipped some hippy juice in my water!

Saturday, October 14, 2006


Just wanted to say HAPPY SATURDAY!!

Joey keeps watch
I will be right here all weekend if you need me...

Doofus will be around looking like this. His eyes are all goopy from allergies (its our growing season in AZ so everything is blooming) so excuse his gross eye. He is such a MESS!

Oh and remember this thing....

Tanner begins the massacre

he was a good little sheep...
Oh ya, he lasted one week. Which is a lot longer than any other plush toy ever has in this house, so Nylabone gets a C+ for this thing.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

chez stains

I have recovered from those horrible green shirts and thought I might share some interesting things about my house. If you didn't know, we just moved into this house in June, so there are a lot of new things to talk about.

Picture 1722
Mom bought this thing from the internet. It showed up and she thought it was SO pretty. Then doofus decided to eat his rawhide on it and now it is covered in a gross white film. Doofus hasn't had any rawhide since then. As you can see, this bench is great for lots of things. Tanner enjoys chewing toys on it and I like to sleep on it. But the BEST thing about this bench is taking that nylabone corn up on it then dropping it on the wood floor. It goes BANG and then my mom, who sits at the computer right next to it gets scared EVERY time. Its great fun!!

Picture 1723
See all that white gunk? gross huh? I don't know why mom doesnt get that little machine out that she uses when I sometimes pee on...I mean WHEN TANNER sometimes pees on the floor. I guess she is just hoping the white stuff will just disappear.

Picture 1724
This is the couch Tanner and I like to stand on to look out the front door. Mom bought that stupid blanket because she claims our claws are messing up the couch. Now, as you can see by the complete innocent looks on our faces, neither of us pulled that blanket down, but somehow it always manages to be in a ball on the couch by the end of the day.

Picture 1726
This is another fun game I play with mom. I call it, see how many times she will pick these 2 pillows up only to watch me kick them on the floor. This is the best game. I play this at my grandparent's house too. Mom hasn't been too into the game lately, talk about a sore loser. She just leaves the pillows there unless some other people are coming over.

Picture 1727
This door should be open 24 hours a day for my coming and going pleasure. Mom disagrees and said that too many bugs get in. She obviously hasn't seen Doofus's great bug eating skills. He can catch anything, and there is no mess, he just eats it!!

These are some of the toys that we need in the bedroom at night. Mom and Dad both dislike these because they yell in the middle of the night when they go pee and step on one. Its like they can't see in the dark or something???

And finally, my favorite spot in the house. This is where I spend a good deal of time waiting for that silver food box to open and for food to come from the sky. Now, sometimes mom FREAKS out when the food comes from the sky and swipes it away and then says something about loose stools? What in the heck lady, grab yourself a drill and tighten those chairs up and let me enjoy the food!!!! sheesh.

I hope you enjoyed my house tour!!