Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Monday, June 28, 2010

TanKer Tuesday!!!

So Joey has been calling me Tanker and Tanky lately, I think it is because he knows I am SO TOUGH like a TANK! BOOM!

Anyway, I know you guys think that the Snuggle Bear should get his nose back but Mom threw it in that garbage so now he is just waiting for the next available nose to be donated from another stuffy victim friend.


Saturday was my Dad's birthday and he had this cake and I could not have any...

But he let me have some Scotch and the room started to SPIN so I went to my little bed...

I had to put my foot on the wall so my bed would stop spinning.

JUST KIDDING OMDOG we cannot have that Scotch either!!!

Joe said since it is your birthday I will let you pet me but make sure your hand doesn't get in the way of the TV.

It is going to be like a babillion degrees here this week so Mom says I can't be left in that yard unsuperivsored.

Sometimes I forget to wake up and come in when it is hot and for some reason Joey always just tries to sneak past me to get in the house. I think he is just trying to be very nice and not wake me because he knows how important good rest is.

Ok guys, Mom is a jerk and will probably not visit blogs this week but please send some cooling vibes our way. Our LOW on Wednesday is supposed to be 88 F!!!!

TanKer Torkelson out. BOOM!

Friday, June 25, 2010


Mom and Dad are finally home with us in the evening instead of going to baseball! Don't worry, the Doof and I got to go to our Gram and Gramps while Mom and Dad went to see MY Yankees.

Well, the first night of the three game was NOT good. Mom got to scream her lungs out as her Dbacks BEAT THE CRAP out of my Yankees.

I told Tanner he could NOT GLOAT on this blog about here he is to tell you about Game One...

THIS IS NOT TANNER IT IS SNUGGLE BEAR. I once had a nose but Tanner ate it and said he would totally sew it back on if I said the following.


Who are these Dbacks anyway? Oh wait, Tanner SORRY...please give me my nose back!!!

OK out of here stupid snuggle bear...I will get you for those comments Tanner!!!

Anyway, the next two nights my Dbacks beat the pants off those stupid can't score runs even with the bases loaded and no outs DBACKS.

Oops, I mean...sorry Tanner. They tried. LOL

I am going to go to sleep now, all of that winning made me tired...GO YANKEES!!

PSSSST Tanner said to tell everyone his Dbacks got a NO HITTER tonight. GO DBACKS!!!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

This is ANOTHER baseball post...

GUYS tomorrow the YANKEES...MY Yankees will be in Arizona!!! Can you even believe it?!?!?

Mom and Dad are going to all three games, and of course, I am not invited. BUT tomorrow it will be on national TV on that ESPN so you can ALL watch!!

I sure hope that Mom doesn't cry when her Dbacks LOSE bad to my Yankees.

Not impressed by Tanner's Dbacks gear
I am already sending lots of vibes to my team...I know they will do well.

I told Tanner if his Dbacks beat MY Yankees that he better not even consider gloating...or else...

Tanner is a mess
I think I have him plenty scared...

So everyone tune in to ESPN tomorrow and cheer on the Yankees!!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

WTF Wednesday!

HEY Mom totally missed Tanner TUESDAY so that is why today is WTF Wednesday. Joey said I can only have the beginning of this post, WTF?!?!?!??!!!!

I wanted to tell you about my NEW little bed. Could you see it??

I had to check to make sure that Joey did not hide anything under it, he is a brat like that.

OK looks safe!!

I love it! Thanks Mom!!

JOEY can't I just have this whole post for me !??!?!

UMM OK BYE, Tan Torkelson totally ripped off from posting OUT

Ok all I really have to say is WIDE LOAD AHEAD...


Sunday, June 13, 2010


WHAATSSSSSSSUUUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!! I don't know what 3D means but I see it on TV a lot and people wear funny glasses!!!

So like one of the FURST things I have to tell you about is an award that my good friends at the Army of Four gave me like a million days ago.

They gave me this pawesome award and reminded me about my favorite football team, the CLEVELAND BROWNS. Joey now says WTF no you love those STEELERS. but I am originationally from OHIO where they love those Browns. So I told Mom I need something ORANGE ok?

So she got me this super pawesome nylabone orange bone thingy.


Could you see me chewing it? I was making those slobbers like MANGO! so fun!

Its my new favoriterest toy ever!

Mom bought Joey this rabbit and he went totally CRACKER DOG and killed it.


FINALLY I would like to show you that even though we moved, the pretty LOVEBIRDS found mom's bird feeder again...

They are the prettierest birds ever!!


Thursday, June 10, 2010

Weekend is starting early!!

Hey guys, Mom is off for the next 4 days so we will be visiting blogs and finally catching up. Thanks for being patient with us!

As you can see we are spreading out in the new place quite well, I think it looks just about right don't you??

Even Tanner is helping to be sure our toys end up in all the right places.

Tanner is even catching on at guarding the house. I am not getting too excited that he might finally be growing up though...

This was him after I told him that while Mom is home for the next 4 days the ONLY thing on the TV is going to be baseball. No STUPID SOAP OPERAS!!!!!!!!!!

We look forward to catching up with everyone and everydog this weekend!

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Tanner Tour Tuesday!

So I thought I would give you a TOUR of that prison we are locked in all day while the Mom and Dad go to the work to make the green papers.

FIRST thing that happens is that gate goes up. That means we cannot go to the house part with carpet and things I can eat.

THEN Mom and Dad disappear through THAT door and Joey says, so long suckers.

THEN I run into that snuggins ball before Joey!!!!


We have to put those baby dog pads down because Joey likes to make those stains. That TV is always on so I can watch my STORIES! OMDOG I love Days of Our Lives!! I sure hope Chloe can stop the mean guy from killing Carley even though Joey said Carley looks like a lizard and Chloe is SO much hotter. ANYWAY...

There is one of those pee pads next to my little house too becuase Joey likes to poop right there because he is a jerk. BUT Joey has been VERY good as this is the first time since he was a wee tiny BAD puppy that he has been alone ALL day during that working. Mom and Dad used to be able to come home at lunch but now they cannot. BUT Joey has only made angry stains a couple of times.

OH we have some water too and lots of books which is what Joey does when I am not talking to him or telling him some pawesome thing about my stories.


Mom and Dad come back through that door and we get our DINNER! Our prison is not so bad but I sure wish we had a hot dog cart or something!!!

Tan Torkelson Tour Guide Extr...Extry...Extrao...AWESOMEST out.

Sunday, June 06, 2010

This is another baseball post!

GUYS we did it! Dontrelle had a successful day and pitched 6 shut out innings. He looked like he was in a jam a few times then I know we came through with some of our awesome vibes and he got out of it.

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Look at that smile!

I was so excited I admit...

I had a Doofus moment.

Ok, maybe two.

Alright, THREE but that was it! I swear!

If you want to see video highlights, they are here. He is just such a fun guy to watch.

One of Mom's most favorite Dbacks got the important hit to put them ahead, so she was happy too.

Happy Birthday Ryan Roberts
There he is, Ryan Roberts!

Finally, to wrap up these baseball posts we are sending a HUGE thank you to our pals, Oakley and Swisher for sending our Dad this PAWESOME poster from Dallas Braden's perfect game.

While Dad is a giant Yankee fan and has been since he was a kid, he also really likes the Minnesota Twins, the Cubs, and the Oakland A's. My pals sent him this poster and he framed it and hung it right with his Twins Homer Hankies. Thanks again Oakley and Swisher, you guys are the best! AND thanks to all of you guys who sent calming zen to Mr. Willis.

Saturday, June 05, 2010

This is a baseball post...

As you dogs may know if you have been reading my blog a while, I am a HUGE Yankees fan just like my Dad.

argh...the Yankees lost :(

And you may also know that Tanner likes the Dbacks, which is my Mom's team.

GO DBACKS!!!!!!!!
I still don't think Tanner understands what is going on but he sure loves yelling at the game.

Anyway, so usually I hate the stinky, terrible, losing Dbacks. But today, I am cheering for them.

You might ask why in the world would you cheer for a team that has lost 10 of its last 11 games?!?!

Because they got this guy...

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
He was a super great pitcher a few years ago but has been having some problems with anxiety. Anxiety?! I know all about that buddy!! He and I could be BFFs and talk about baseball and anxiety!

Look at what else we have in common...

Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Picture 2234
I could totally help him work on his form too.

He is pitching today for the Dbacks, and I know a couple of other dog pals out there like this guy a lot too. SO send this guy some of our doggy zen so he has a good pitching day because I like the guy, but I sure won't be sending him my thundershirt!

Thunder Shirt makes him very sleepy

Thursday, June 03, 2010

The faces of a Doofus NOT on pills...

So I thought I would share some pics of us since Mom finally took some. You guys all thought Tanner was odd when he was on pain pills... (I have heard rumors of a marriage to LACIE!?! Luckily Tanner is already married so no way that could legally happen!!)

BUT the truly scary thing is this is what he looks like with NO loopy drugs...

Seriously?!!! Is he TRYING to be handsome? I mean... we all know this face...

Standard Doofus Face right there. But if he wants to do handsome...he has a lot to learn...

Good thing he lives with a MASTER!!