Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Thursday, March 29, 2007

can't a dog get a break?

What is wrong with this picture??


no cone
Look at him grinning! They just gave him a new bandage because it is healing SO well under there but there is one tiny spot that needs to finish healing. What a RIP OFF! I wanted cone head!!

Last night he was even practicing manuevering with the cone by hauling the trash can around. Dad thought it was funny, mom was not amused!

Picture 1186

Picture 1183
He got in trouble.

Well, sorry folks, no cone here! I am disappointed as I know you all are too!

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

oh man

All you guys want to have Tanner to have TWO days!? Are you kidding me? Do you know how long it takes him to come up with ONE post a week?!!! Then do you know how long I have to hear all about it after he is done?

He has this thing, he calls me BUDS. Not Joey, not Joseph, not the Minister of Stains, but BUDS. Not even buddy... argh. So all I hear is Hey Buds, Hey Buds, Hey Buds, did you see me? Did you see me on the blog? Did you? Did you? It is enough to drive a dog crazy.

Maybe he can have a few Thursdays a month, MAYBE, but we will see how much he behaves. But seriously, lets STOP talking about the Doofus and talk about something awesome.

You know what is awesome, this new shirt I got from Akira and Shiro!! It is AMAZING!!

tanner is jealous
This shirt is a football shirt for the quarterback of the Steelers!! BIG BEN! I love him. HIs name has BURGER in it, so you know he is the best ever.

it makes me a little itchy!
Mom thinks I am itchy in this one, but I am just doing my impression of Ben sliding across the goal line for a touchdown!!

joey lines up in his steeler's jersey
In this one I am trying to get the Doofus to line up across from me, but he just doesn't get it.

Joey is checking out the back of the bench
Then I lost Tanner, I couldn't quite figure out where he went...

tanner is so special
There he is, looking as deranged as ever. What am I going to do with this Doofus?! Please notice my awesome tail, Tanner just has this little nub that is worthless.

Thank you Akira and Shiro for this super awesome present. There was also a bandana in the package, but Mom didnt put that on the Doof because she wanted to show off his new (girly) collar.

So anyway, tomorrow is Thursday, but it is JOEY Thursday, so deal with it! Tanner is going back to the Vet so I really hope that I will have some conehead photos tomorrrow!!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

yo yo yo yo

WHATSSUPP my friends!!!!!!!!!!!! I am home and I am not happy because I had to Go to tehe Vets again and now I can't see my arm and its purple. MOm said my leg didn't like the stitches and I said no SHI um crap lady those things were itchy and gross and I wanted to eat them off of my own leg and that is why I am glad they are out of there.

But enough about my stupid leg because I am so sick of it except the pain pills were pretty cool, but really take a look at this movie.

THis is a movie about Joey and he is wanting what my uncle has inside his cabinet and he wants it so bad he says ALL THAT STUFF and I am like what in the heck is he talking about mom?

So finally you want to see what was inside that made joey say all that stuff

what is in there
THere he goes, can you see him? can you see me???

Picture 893
It was a Giant green dead bird our uncle got on St Patricks day! I didnt know that it was a thing to eat giant green birds on St Patrick's Day? It must have been Patricks favorites food.

SO then Mom was like OMG Joey you are soo funnny and I said I am funny Too because Look at me and I am funny!! ANd mom Said Tanner What did you do?! and I said WHATTSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!

dirty doofus

Then I saw This picture and I said what in the hell does my shirt say beCuase I can read it now and it says What is a Doofus and I know what a Doofus is it is what Joey's brother is and I was liek WTF who doesn't know what a DOofus is, Right?! Gosh, this shirt makes NO sense!

So I hope nExt week to not talk about my Leg and then we can talk about something cool like hot dogs and treats and toys.

Monday, March 26, 2007

vet tales

So the Doof had to go back to the vet because his sutures looked really GROSS. The Vet said he was having a bad reaction to the sutures, which is why they looked yucky. The doc took them out, put some antibiotic and a nice bandage on it and sent us on our way. FREE OF CHARGE. They said it should heal just fine, yet still no treatment was mentioned for the de-doofusifying.

Tanner got his sutures out

He got a purple bandage today and gets it off on Thursday, then I think it will be LAMPSHADE HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mom is still cleaning and getting things back to normal after the BBQ and the company, but tonight she promised Tanner and I can share one of the leftover hot dogs. I bet we have some SWEET gas.

keeping an eye on the house
This was us this morning when Mom said VET TIME! I thought for sure it was my turn, but nope, it was doofus again!

Sunday, March 25, 2007

I am sooo soorrry

My horrid parents have been neglecting me because of this company they have from Louisiana. I am so mad at them right now. We did have fun at our grandparent's house though. When we got home I began my inspection...

I found something
What is this??

mmmm hamburger drippings
YUM, hamburger grease...

mmm hot dog drippings
the Doofus found some hot dog juice!

We are very good at helping Mom clean up after her BBQ, even if we didn't get to go :(

We are glad to be back!

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Joey's Mom here...

Just got a call from the Vet, Tanner's lump was benign. However, he still has a severe case of Doofus-ism, which seems to be resistant to all treatment ;)



Tuesday, March 20, 2007

You can't keep a good Tan down!!!


Did you guys see me? Did you? Did you see my leg??? OMG! Friday was total BullShi...

woah, um MOm said I can't use the words I learned on all the TV I watch. BUt really what happened to me was CRAP! OMG!! I got a car ride like so early in the morning when old man Joey was still sleepings in his bed. and I was in the car just me by myself it was so much fun.

Then we get to this place and look there is a cat in the window saying Hi Tanner come inside we can be best friends and be cats and dogs and play and it will be great!

cat bait

Then I got in there and Mom and Dad said bye Tanner and I was like ok bye! Then they got in the truck and I was like HOLY SHI..woops HOLY CRAP where are they going then its like I don't really even remember anything else except being at home kind of and I fell down and then Joey was smelling my butt and then I dunno it was like time to drink some water!

me and baby tan
Mom gave me kisses and said don't worry you won't end up with a forehead as big as mine because you are a dog and you are cute. HAHAHA that is one funny of a joke, but Mom is really nice and made sure I felt good when I was still out of it.

Then finally Things got better and I could get around, now I can't stop running around and it makes Mom yell and say NO NO NO and then I can't lick at my ouchie or they are talking about me turning into some kind of satellite dish or lamp or something? I am trying to not lick but its really freakin hard so instead I have been watching TV lots of HBO so now I know fun words and also I know how to talk on here better ebecause I have been reading a lot of Dog blogs and I love Ikes and I love Lillie and I love Sunshade that sent me a shirt that says I am very handsome. THat is what Joey said it means, I dunno I can't see my own back. Joey's says my brother is a Doofus so I feel bad for one of his litter mates who might be a doofus!

Finally if you look at this picture real good you can see something funny that Joey does because he loves Triscuit crackers. He makes spit fall out of his mouth in giant long streams and it is so funny except it usually drips on Mom's leg and she said that is gross.

So that is today and I feel smarter and hope this is easier to read and I am going to go not lick my leg even though I think it hurts because they put some kind of cat alien probe in there or something. I don't trust the cats now that they got me into that place where they hurt me really bad.

Monday, March 19, 2007

WARNING Gross Photos!

So, we have some catching up to do, but apparently Mom and Dad have a friend coming in to town Wednesday, then they are having a BIG BBQ and WE ARE NOT INVITED! Now I am yelling! We have to go to our grandparent's house. What a RIP OFF! I mean, we will get tons of treats, but do you know the kinds of things they eat at a BBQ!!

Anyway, we probably won't have time to catch up on too many dog's blogs, so keep us posted if anything needs our immediate attention!!

Card from Maggie
First order of business is to thank Maggie for this wonderful card for my Joey Palooza!

card from Maggie
This one is better because it is beautiful Maggie herself! THANK YOU Maggie!!

what is it
Here is us opening Miss Sunshade's package. You can see the Doof was still bandaged when we got it.

not for doofus
It said NO DOOFUS!!!!! AWESOME!!!

not for doofus
And it said it was NOT from Sunshade's STINKY!

 from miss sunshade
There was a GREAT card.

 from miss sunshade
It was even signed by Miss Sunshade.

joey inspects, from miss sunshade
Mom hung this in our front window, to scare away bad guys!!!

joey inspects, from miss sunshade
Sunshade also got us this handsome wooden hanger to put our leashes on! It is sooo nice!

We hung them right by these beautiful drawings our Dad's Grandpa made of us. Isn't he a great artist!!

He captured the essence of the Doofus Face

from miss sunshade
There he is!! Of course you all saw the GREAT shirts she got us. THANK YOU MISS SUNSHADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, here are the gross pictures, DON'T SCROLL DOWN IF YOU DONT LIKE OUCHIES! Oh man, I am yelling again!

tanner incision

tanner incision

Sunday, March 18, 2007

doofus what!?

We got a package from Miss Sunshade, there were a few things in that Mom will talk about when she has more time, but the BEST things are these AWESOME shirts!!!

I mean, this is the best thing ever made.

And SO incredibly accurate!

the doofus
Thank you Miss Sunshade we LOVE them!!!

Mom will post more later, but here is a pic of the Doof with his new clean bandage.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

The doofus!

Tanner is feeling better, so now Mom has to try to keep him from running all over the place and tearing his sutures apart. Good luck with that one. We have to take the bandage off tomorrow, so I am guessing that soon you will be seeing a cone head tanner because there is no way he won't be licking that stuff. Mom bought some of that natural bitter stuff and she seems to think that if she blots a little above and below the ouchy spot he might not lick. I dunno about that.


He was a little bit sleepy still last night, but then at about midnight he was WIDE awake. He was up until 2am! Mom was so not happy! Luckily she had some DVDs to watch. Then he was awake again at 7am!!! He has been up ever since, eating, drinking, running around and everytime he starts running and jumping mom is like No No No!!! So she bought him a new nylabone so maybe he will sit still.

trying to keep him busy

he wants to run all over

messy bandage
He totally has his bandage filthy.

feeling better
Mom will leave the room for two seconds and find that he has jumped up on the back of the couch. He is such a doofus.

So, soon my friends I think you will be seeing a doofus face in an E-collar!!!!

Thanks everyone for your kinds words. Mom didn't even barf!!!

Friday, March 16, 2007

Oh the doofus is home!

Here is the story of Tanner's Vet visit.

tanner clutching his toys the night before
Last night he was feeling blue, har har, so he was clutching his favorite blue toys.

Then this morning it was up bright and early to get to the vet by 7am.

First of all when they got there, guess what was waiting!

they use cats as bait to get them in the vet!
I tell you what, I would have not even got out of the truck! But Tanner likes cats so this was the perfect bait to get him in there. Once he was in there he realized that this was the BAD PLACE. He was not happy.

Mom had to wait until almost 11:30am to get the call from the Vet, even though they said she could call as many times as she wanted, she didn't want to seem crazy. (ahem) The vet called and said the doof made it through just fine. When they picked him up they had put a yellow bandage on his leg for Steelers! What nice vets! They also had a nice red bandana on him. However, I don't think Tanner had any idea WHAT was on him because he was OUT of it. He still is. I think they did find a cure for Doofus-ism, SEDATIVES!!!

so happy to be going home
He snored the whole way home.

what is he on??
Mom put him in his house because she thought I might try to mess him up. Like I care? I gave him one sniff then I was back to looking out the window.

He is resting peacefully, and I am at peace as well. I wonder how long these sedatives last!

sad tanner
Tanner is sad right now but he will be his old self in no time! Thanks everyone for your thoughts, prayers, and crossed paws.