Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

don't you, forget about me

So I see everyone LOOOVED Tanner Tuesday. Whatever, I can deal with that. I was hoping for some boycotts, but I guess the Doof does have his own charm.

I feel so boring now. What do you people want, a couple of OMG and WHATSUUUPS for you to love me as much. Well, I won't do it! I am an intelligent and dignified Boston, NOT a Doofus!!

I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Last night Mom gave us the cookies from Boy and Baby and they were SO GOOD. Thank you again guys!!

the doof
Please note that most "pimps" do not run around with FOOD in their NOSE.

Or with a DOOFUS FACE!

Mom said this sort of looks like a Doofus Face but I TOTALLY disagree.

birthday card
Anyway, I got my first JOEY-PALOOZA card in the mail today. My birthdays are next week, March 6-9th. So I am super excited to see what all I get.

The card is from Huskee Boy and I LOVE it

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Look at that handsome Boston, he looks like me, except for the bath part.

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Thank you sooo much Huskee, I love it!!!

My dear friends, please remember that there are many other days of the week besides TUESDAY! hmph.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

TANNER TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


It IS Tanner TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Joey said ThaT You GuYS said I can'T Say ALOT of WorDS so JoeEy SAiD waTCH TV that iS hoW You LeaRn woRds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wAtcheD and saw tHis BeST ShoW callEd CRIBS! I WanT tO do CriBS cuz I am A superStaR like ThoSE gUYS.

So FiRSt I HavE MY TV, FLatSCreen Cuz thAt is wHat my Dogs LiKE.

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Yaaaa mTV on THE TV!!!

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HeRe iS my FRIDge OMG I LOVE Water! and FroStY PAWS!!!!

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I roLL dEep With the 40 oz BeCausE on MtV Cribs It is all abOut BeinG a PiMP!!! That iS me, A PiMP!!!!!

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HeRe is the Music Room and where MY main man Dad keeps his Shoes.

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I am A TotaLLY RocKIN Drummer, I miGHt Make A band oF dogs SOmeday and have LiLlie be my Groupie!!!


OMG I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!!!

Oh JoeY juSt Told Me to COnsUntrate?! (joey- I tried to not help, but he is hopeless!!)

Lets Go OUtside.

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HeRe is MY bathRoom. It is SWeeT!

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HeRe Is the PooL. UsuAlly It has WAter but not in the Winters Cuz OMG its COlD!

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FiNAlLY My Dope RIDE! I got a Poop Truck. ThaT is whAt Mom and DaD call It cuz When we ride in it We fart and It Smells LIKe POOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The Truck Is the BOSton TerrorISt ediTIon!!!!!!!!



I CanT bELIVE Tanner TUESDAY is OVer ALready!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, February 26, 2007

you like me, you really like me


We have the honor of receiving a Fido award for our tug of war video.

There are so many people I would like to thank.

First of all, I would like to thank the Doofus, my costar. Without your tugging effort this video would not have been possible. (ya, so what I am kissing up the day before Tanner Tuesday so he doesn't totally bust me for anything he knows about that mom and dad might not)

I would like to thank Mom, for her excellent camera skills.

I would like to thank my Dad, for never, ever taking one photo of me or video. The guy totally respects me.

Finally, I would like to thank all of YOU, my fans, who made this possible. Without you, I would be nothing!!!!!!!

I can't believe that tomorrow you all will have to put up with Tanner, I am so sorry.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

typical me

So it seems as though every Sunday around here looks the same, probably because it is. Unless it is raining, then I get upset.

love the sun
So we have been laying around in the sun all day.

usual sunday
Not sure what else we might do...

But here is something we did Friday. Our uncle was putting away some sodas in the pantry and ran to the bathroom real quick and came out to discover THIS! We decided to help ourselves to the veal ribs that Boy and Baby sent us. We were very good and only took one each!

I mean, why would you put the dog treats on the shelf we can reach if you didn't want us to get to them ourselves. We were just cutting out the middle man!

We hope everyone is having a good weekend!!!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

almost the weekend!

Ok, so it is almost the weekend, but before we get to that...

Today is Wally's Burpday!! Go give him some love!

And...Tomorrow is Boo's Birthday, so send wishes that way too!

But before another second passes, you MUST read this poem from Marvin

The Ballad of Joe Stains and Tanner

This is the ballad of Joe Stains and Tanner
Two Boston Terriers, both mad as hatters!

Every day they make us laugh with their stories,
The fun and the laughter, their triumphs, their glories!

Joe is the master of every dog stain known to man,
and Tanner, well he is just the Doofus, again, and again!

I love both these Doggies, for they are so cool,
They have such adventures and break every rule.

Long may they reign the Blog Airwaves each day,
Reading their funny adventures takes my cares away.

The Doofus can't type and Joe makes the stains
But all us Dog Bloggers wouldn't have it any other way!

The Ballad of Joe Stains and Tanner,
Two Dogs who just can't live without each other!

What a WONDERFUL poem, thank you Marvin.

Since some dogs actually LIKED Tanner's post, I have decided that he can post one day a starting next week, tune in for TANNER TUESDAYS!!

bum looka
Finally, here is a picture of Tanner staring at my BUTT. What a weirdo!

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Oh no you DIDN'T

WELL! I have learned from some good friends about Tanner's little HACK JOB on my website, and I have to tell you I have SEVERELY underestimated the Doofus! This does not mean that I am not EXTREMELY mad at him for what he did, I mean what is with all that WHATTSSUPP stuff. He has such a limited vocabulary. Anyway, while I was very angry, I was more curious as to how he did this than anything, so I think it was time for Detective Stains to get on the case.

My first clue was the post from Tanner who mentioned watching a movie, so I went to the TV room to investigate.

detective stains
Sure enough, there was a movie by the player. Granted only ONE of the controllers for the PS2 works now because the Doofus ATE THE OTHER ONES, he still could have managed to watch the movie...but what was it...?

Yep, a movie all about computers! I can't believe the Doofus! Good thing he didn't watch Basic Instinct...YIKES!


tanno pack
The Doofus has this pack that he keeps important stuff in. Our Aunt Patty gave it to him. He never lets me see what is in it.

I tried to take it tonight and he was putting up a fight, but eventually I got it. Too bad you didn't learn Kung Fu from the Matrix movie!

i am crazy
What is this piece of paper?!

i am crazy
OHMYDOG!!!!!! Mom always said it is bad practice to write down passwords, but who knew the Doofus was so smart!!! Now, of course I have since changed the password, so nobody else get any ideas!!!

how could you
I confronted the Doofus with the evidence and yelled, WHY DID YOU TAKE THIS IT IS MINE?!?!?!

you know what he said???



But there has to be more evidence!

The only other place I never go in his stinky house...

what is this?!
I see something in there! (you don't have to be a world class detective to see Tanner's escape attempt on his house)

It is the manual to Mom's camera!!! THat is how he got those pics on the blog! I can't believe this dog! I don't even know where Mom keeps all that stuff!

i dunno
The Doof tried to cover up the evidence, but it is all too clear now what happened.

I must be more diligant with the Doofus, I underestimated him.

I apologize to everyone, I will try my best to be sure this never happens again!!! I must thank all of my friends who came to my defense about the storming. I must tell you that it was not just thunder and rain, there was also HAIL!! Hail is scary!! :(

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

WHaTS uPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I aM a HaCker NoW I watCHED a MoviE abOuT HACKerss nad I thiNKEd I waNTED to Hack THe BLOG and say WHAAAAAATSSSSSSSSSSUPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


SEE ME????? SEE My CarD from LiLLie HottEst DoG EVER on mY desk? SEE My PinK Shirt? I am a PIMP. WHATSSSUPPPPPPPP!!!

WaiT, whaT was I talkiNG About OMG!??????!!!!!!!!!! WHATTTSSS UPPP!!!!!!!!!!

Joe SAys I Am ONE DOOFUS and I thinK he is a CHICken dOg cuz LOOk At this MOvie! OMG!!!! He is ScarED of the THunder and RAining!!!!

He is ShaKiNG like a SIsSYY DOG. WHO IS A DooFUS NOW? Joe?! WHAAATSS UP!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG THis Is SO FUN being HACKER! I LOVE LILLIE!!! HI AunT PaTTY I miSS eaTINg your cords and CHasING the Cats to UndER youR BED!!!!! I MiSS UncLE DICk Who caLLEd me A ShitBIrd, WhatEVER THat is!?!!!!!!!

Oh No, I hear JOEy, Don'T TELl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Monday, February 19, 2007

happy new year!

We got a card in the mail from Fu Fu!

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Doofus REALLY likes mail, as you can see here.

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I don't think he can read Chinese, but Mom said it was a card to wish us a Happy New Year!

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There were some hearts inside too, to wish us a happy Valentine's day! Thank you Fu Fu!!

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Tanner got real excited about his. (check out the custom upholstery job we did on the couch, I think it looks really nice, Mom said we ruined it. She has some bad taste if you ask me)

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This is all that was left of my Valentine after the Doofus got it. Sorry Fu Fu, I did really appreciate it.

We are up for a FIDO award on the Dogs With Blogs site, go vote!!

Click to vote

Check out the award, its almost like we were MEANT to win!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Lazy Sunday

Today is a lazy Sunday at my house. The Doof and I were fighting earlier and we got in trouble, so now we are trying to be good so maybe Mom will give us some treats later. Sometimes, I just can't help myself though because the Doof takes all the good toys and then I HAVE to yell at him until he gives it back to me. Mom and Dad seem to think this game is very annoying because usually someone is watching TV and they can't hear it. I have seen that remote, there is a volume button, just turn the darn TV up and quit complaining!

Anyway, we did some posing so Mom wouldn't be so mad.

lazy sunday
I did a very cute pose, and Tanner, well he just sort of looks like Jabba the Hut.

the doof
He has a booboo on his leg, which Mom seems to think is my fault, but if you have seen this guy out in the yard you would know that he got it from playing with sticks. He LOVES sticks!

Mom always has to make sure he doesn't swallow them, but usually he just crunches them into a million pieces and makes a mess.

Being outside is for sunning, NOT eating sticks. He has a lot to learn.

Anyone have any ideas on how to train Tanner to not be so much of a Doofus? Is there something I can feed him?

Some of you inquired about my not liking girls. Well, I just don't. I don't think I am gay (not that there is anything wrong with that) but I just really don't like girl dogs. They tend to not like me too, but it takes a special kind of dog to get along with me. I guess you could call me a dog snob.

We would also like to mention some new friends that commented on my blog, The Dogs of Jackman Ave live in PITTSBURGH! That is the place where our Mom came from and where the Steelers live. Those guys said they want to call me Mean Joe Green, and I like that name!! Mom said that guy really was a NICE guy, but looked mean on the that is kinda like me!!

Finally, all my dog friends who are celebrating the Chinese new year say that this is the year of the PIG. Well, my very best friend ever is a pig. A COWBOY pig. If any of you readers know me from WAAAAAYYYY back in the days from the Boston Buddies on the Live Journal, you know all about my cowboy pig. He has to be hidden away because Tanner would murder him, but sometimes Mom gets him out and I get to snuggle with him. Here is an old picture of us.

My cowboy pig

I will have to remind mom that this is the year of the pig and ask her to get him out for me this week.

Happy New Year!!

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Hot Terrier Alert!

To all my guy friends out there, I would like to introduce...


She is looking for a man, and seeing as how I am not really into girls, and the Doofus already has Lillie, I am doing a little advertising for her! Click the link and visit her blog!

Look at that face!!!

Friday, February 16, 2007

we're back, we're back, A DAY EARLY!

Mom just couldn't live without us another day so she and Dad came home a day early!

Tanner got mail!

It says, SWAK? Mom said that is sealed with a KISS!? Oh no! Sounds like romance crap!

He grabbed it and took off with it! But Mom said it is from LILLIE!! It has mushy crap written inside it and Tanner can't stop licking it and staring at it. eesh!

we're HOME!
So, we are HOME! THANK GOODNESS! I am going to go look out my window for 30 hours straight, right after I read everydog's blog!!!!

Oh ya, look at this video! This is what Mom and Dad saw when we were stuck at gram and gramps!

Monday, February 12, 2007

so long, fairwell, aw fweeder sane, goodbye

So we will not be talking to you until Saturday, I will get back to posting more request pictures then. But for now, I will share some shots so you can remember us while we are away at the grandparent's.

My Mom would like to say her back really says Perseverance and she thanks the people that said it does look like that because she has heard horror stories of people getting chinese characters and thinking they mean "LOVE" and it really means large pizza, or something stupid :)

i wasn't just sleeping on the same couch as tanner!
MOM what are you DOING?! this can't be one of the last photos they see! ME on the same couch as THE DOOFUS!! (and the bear cuz and the STEELERS blanket)

not going to look at the camera lady
Oh my goodness, this one is WORSE. What if someone stumbles across my blog for the first time, they will think that Tanner and I are loving brothers!!

um, some food would be nice
Tanner wanted to be sure we documented what he will do when he wants food, as the grandparents are old, and may not be able to take his SUBTLE hint when he drags his bowl all over the house.

And finally, a lovely photo of me. Please don't forget me when I am gone, I promise I will not forget you guys!! *sob* I hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine's Day, and happy birthday to Gus, and oh my I am going to cry!! GOODBYE MY FRIENDS!! GOODBYE!!! (mom would again like to point out what a drama queen Joey is)