Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Sunday, September 30, 2007

A brief post because I am mad beyond words

Would you like to know where my Mom went is a hint...



Do you know where I was today???

RIGHT HERE, looking for my terrible MOM and MY ticket to the game.

I didn't get to go. AND THE STEELERS LOST! These two things ARE directly related. I am so mad I cannot read blogs tonight, I am going to bed. I will catch up with all you dogs and hamster later!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

I'm walking, yes indeed...

SO thanks to all my great friends who are behind me on this Armstrong thing, I just want what is owed to me!

Here is a picture of the Doofus and I walking the other evening...

I am the one wearing the totally mismatched and goofy PURPLE AND RED get up, while Tanner has the cool and sleek black harness and leash. THAT USED TO BE MINE, but then Tanner got so FAT that he had to have the bigger harness and I got his smaller red one. WTF! So now I look totally uncool :(

I always have to be in front on our walks. By the end of the walk Tanner is usually 5-6 feet behind me beause he is a log and cannot keep up.

This tree is where there is a LOT of pee mail exchanged. There are three beagle dudes that live in the house just across from this tree so its inbox is always full!

Well, I hope that someone out there can convince my Mom that I need something that at least MATCHES if she is going to take me out in public anymore.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

I am back, the party is over

I am so glad to be back you guys! Tanner is DONE posting, I don't care if he gets 30 more presents, I am tired of the little menace and I bet you guys are too.

I have to tell you about a COOL shirt Mom got from our friend over at Pappy's blog! Pappy is the coolest and his Dad made a neat shirt and Mom bought one.

I don't think it fits me??? Um, what its for MOM? Seriously, the woman is so selfish.

Look at the design

Mom loves it and that is Pappy on the shirt!

Another thing I would like to bring up is the fact that Boston Terriers have now been used in TWO Armstrong Flooring ads and in each a stain is made.

I think I need to sue Armstrong for some kind of royalties because they OBVIOUSLY heard of me, the Minister of Stains. They are using my stain notability to sell flooring, I believe I am owed something for this.

Look at that ad! Clearly that is me on the left, then my arch enemy a thunderstorm comes in and then WHAM, a STAIN! This is my life story spelled out in an advertisement!

Even Tanner cannot believe his Doofus eyes!

He is trying to cover the evidence so that I calm down, but I am MAD!

I am boycotting Armstrong flooring FOREVER or until I get my check!

Tuesday, September 25, 2007


We made it to the ASTAs cow party!!!

everyone, this is my best friend!!!
Joey was like so Ready and he had his COWBOY pig who is his besterest friend that I am not supposed to touch because if Cowboy PIg sploded Joey would CRY CRY and then probably BITE ME! He loves that cowboy pig!! He is waiting for our RIDE to Ny in this PHOTO!!

Picture 1253
This is me right after The pArty and all I can say is WOAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! How did I end up in THIS pumpkin suit?! HOw did I even get home?!?! woaaah, how Many DOGTINIS did I HAVE?!

I thinks I need to sleep for a DAY or so because I have a headache from too much PARTY!

Thanks ASTA and happy birthday!

Monday, September 24, 2007


I AM STILL GETTING PRESENTS! MOm is like busy nd junk but she WILL visit everyones bloggies and WE did not get to the DISCO party of LOLA and the COWBOY party of ASTA, but we love you guys we ares just BUSIEREST ok?

I GOt this super card from CLOVER! that is US on that card!

Also I got a present all the way from AWEStrayLea!!! Can you believe it! iTs from scrappy and PEBBLES and its one puppet that is a VETERnArian!!

Joe says CAN I SEE?

I said, HI vet I will be mean to you like you are MEAN to me!!

WHASTTSUUUUUUUUP Vet! I will BITE You and then Joey will bite on that Loofah Football Dogg!

Joe EATED his ears off!

he is SO good at eattin!!

Look MR Vet's face totally SPLODED!!

Joe LOVES him some vet stuffies!!

THANKS guys for the besterest presents ever and happy days to ASTA of a birthdy!!!!

Saturday, September 22, 2007


I am STill the dog updating because I STILL keep getting PRESENTS! I cannot EVEN believe how much presents I AM getting and how GREAT all you dogs and hamsters are to ME!

We got a box from RUBY the cutey and there was a thing for me and FOR JOEY even though its NOT his birthday!

Joey got HOT DOGS that will not make his butt make runny poos!

That TOP one is a stuffy toy, which means it will prolly SPLODE! I can't wait!

She getted him one of those TOO!

There was also a giant tube of chewy goodness but mom forgetted to Take one picture of it, but SHE will take some when we eats them!

OMDOG LOOK at that one, get it LOOK because those are EYEBALLS!!! I can't WAIT this one looks like sooo fun. get it it LOOKS fun!!!

OH dog I LOVE THIS it has a football and it is one of those LOOFAH dogs!!!

I got me a ccookie bar too!! YAY!

and a HAMBRUGER!!!!


Joe takes like a hundred YEARS to eat I think that is why he is skinnierest becausee he like eats so sllow by the time he is finished he has to go POO and then no weight gets to stick on him!

NOT Me I LOVE to eat it real fast!!

Thank youuuu RUBY you are one GOOD and CUTE friend.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Tag it Tag me give me birthday PRESENTS!


I got this hoop on a rope THAT WONT be on a rope for long so thank you because I LOVE THESE kinds of toys to take apart!

AND LOOK AT THOSE! Whole piggies pressed into bones that fit into my mouth for eating?! I LOVE THOSE! THank you Simba, I cannot wait to eat these all up and maybe give some to JOEY because he is the skinnierest of us.

OUR friend Ruby said we need to say FIVE things we call our MOM.

1. MOM, cuz that is her name!!!

2. um, what else would I call her cept MOM? um, MOMMY?

3. Oh dear, this is so hard. I am sorryerest RUBY what do I do?

4. This is how OLD I AM!

5. Um, what am I, oh right. Well, I guess I can call Mom um NOT DAD! cuz she is NOT DAD!!!!! SHE IS NOT!!!

whew, that was hard. BUT even though that was hard I like Ruby because SHE LOVES MY er OUR blog.

We LOVE every dogs blog! EVERY DOG AND HAMSTER!!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

shot through the butt, and you're to blame!

I have recovered from my shot and I am feeling pretty well. I got some extra kibble and veggies the last few days, and Mom even snuck me an extra treat or 2. We will NOT be telling Tanner about that!

Tanner is feeling fine after he blew chunks all through his house, I think he just did it because he really hates that little house.

He has been pretty tired because he has got like 320 toys in the last week.

I have to share something VERY exciting!

Our friend Tadpole is in the nw Ikea catalog!!!

Can you even believe it?!

Tanner had to come over to investigate.

Then he had to make that face, because he is a complete Doofus.

Ikea is SO COOL! So, you think you could hook us up with a discount?!!!

Tuesday, September 18, 2007


WHATSSSSSSUUUUUPPPPPPPP I am FOUR. ONE year TWO year THREE year FOUR YEARS OLD! It is the most excitering age I have ever had so far! I got ONE Million presents and treats and have so many good friends!

DUDES, BUT I saved the bestest present for LAST...LOOK AT THIS ONE!!


My old corn was NO good for shanking because it was like SO tiny that I could barely even hold it anymore!!! MOM and DAD said NEW CORN HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I said THANKS PEOPLE!!

I LoOOOVE this new corn.

I got right to WORK making it into a shank, just like my old corn! Its like WTF do other dogs do without this corn?! oops that was kind of a swearing, but I AM SO EXCITED!!!!

oh its the BEST feeling in the world, one NEW corn!! Corns don't ever splode and I can chew and chew and chwew and chew and cchew for like one zillion days on Corn!

You want to know what that JOEY was doing when I was eating that corn?!???

HE was doing that pouting out in the yard. Joe got some shot in the BUTT yesterday so he is extra poutering but today he had LOTS more foods in his bowl. Mayeb I should start that poutering STUFF?! SOO I SAID, NO CORN FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

Then I was SO SO cited from chewing on that corn I ran in the room and barfed in my little house! I SAID MOOOHAAAAAAAAAAACK and puked on my little bed and my LITTLE blanket. I HATE THAT LITTLE HOUSE!

Joe said that I made a stain! SEE I AM SMARTEREST AT FOUR!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Monday blues

I was rudely yanked from the couch this morning where I guard the house (note from Mom: where he SLEEPS when we are not here) and put in my truck. I was NOT happy about this as I really need that morning time to guard the house. (Mom - sleep) So finally we end up at the stupid VET! I knew it! I KNEW IT!

So I had to get a shot. I was so so so not happy, but I am ALWAYS a very good boy at the Vet, unlike Tanner who turns into a tasmanian devil and tries his best to be as uncooperative as possible.

The Vet said that my teeth look real good for my age, I think it has to do with Bully sticks, so I am going to request more of those. See my teeth, gorgeous right?

I was pretty tired after I got home since that evil woman SHOT ME IN MY BUTT! I hate shots :(

But you know what did make me real happy???

The vet said I am a teeny tiny bit too skinny, so you know what that means...IN n' Out Burger, Wendy's fries, cheese, cheese and cheese. What Mom, that just means more kibble and veggies?!

angry stain
Fine, I am going right back to pouting. (Note from Mom - soon followed by sleeping)

Pee Ess

I am on LOL bostons a couple of days ago, check me out!!

Sunday, September 16, 2007

don't worry, I am back!

There is no mail delivery on Sunday so Tanner got no packages! We are still pooped out from the weekend, we actually went to our Grandma's house because the mean mean parents had a birthday party for our UNCLE, not TANNER and we could not be there because 'we do not listen'. What a bunch of crap...

and do you know what the biggest bunch of crap was...

ROG WAS AT THE PARTY while we were at our Grandma's house! I think we have the WORST parents ever! Well not really because man oh man if you only knew how many treats we got at our Grams. It averages like 20 gazillion an hour. But still, Rog apparently listens and doesn't try to run out the door every time it opens and he also doesn't jump on people. WHATEVER, mean parents.

Joey and Tanner supporting their team!
At least our Steelers won today.

Tanner will report back on Tuesday about his other gifts! It is so good to be back!

Saturday, September 15, 2007


TODAY is that day that is MY birthday! FOUR years ago I was borned out of one dog who I don't even know in OHIO and then NOW I am here in ARIZONA! I am so happy to be FOUR and Mom said she is amazed that I even MADE it to be four because I am SOO special! I AM SPECIAL!

GUYS I got another present! CAN you EVEN BELIEVE IT!

This one is not easy to OPEN either, I will be better next birthday MAYBE!

That CARD is the cuterest too, where are all these cuterest cards from!?!

This one is FROM chilli the dog, not the stuff you can eat that makes you fart, but this cuterest dog! his doption day is the same as my being borned day!!

HE got A DEER in this bag for me!! I CANT wait to eat it!!!

I got this card from JACKSON! look at that wire dog!!

This one is from RUBY who is so cute that I am not blind so I can look at her and think about how cute she is but not as cute as my WIFE OK!?!!

LAST I want to say MOM got me something but I want to post about that TOMORORROW so that I can have like a whole bunch of DAYS on this blog not Joey!!


THANK YOU TO EVERY DOG FOR THE PRESENTS! THANK YOU CHILLI AND thank YOU FOR THE cards RUBY and Jackson, it makes me CRY to think of all those dogs out there that LOVE ME.

I AM making one KIDDING JOKE I am not crying I Am hating that HAT!

IT makes JOEY have A headache and say OOH!