Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Distraction in polar form...

So Tanner had a bit of a migraine after a few minutes of trying to watch the front and back yards. Mom felt bad about stressing him out so she got us a new toy.

It says it is super durable...

It is a 9 out of 10 on the durability scale...we shall see!

Hello polar bear, welcome to terrier town!!

We immediately started to tug on him...

And we tugged some more...

As Tanner would say, WTF it won't splode??

This thing is totally tough!

I spent some quality time with it, trying to convince it to just give up its fabulous stuffing already.

Finally, I got was time to hump...

YET THE BEAR STILL SURVIVES!! We have had it for a couple of days and it is still in one piece. I am baffled! Mom got this at a discount store so it doesn't appear that they make them anymore, but it is the same brand as the Tuffy pet toy line. So far, Mom is impressed, and I am ticked off. It is my mission to splode this stupid stuffy.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Tanner YARD DUTY Day!!

WHATSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPP!?!?! SO Joey is contemplating MOVING but then he wants to stay so he can watch those Yankees. We were both VERY sad about those stupid Steelers losing to those darn BENGAL CATS yesterday. They lost to CATS!! But then MOM said that cats are getting the best of us RIGHT NOW!!

WTF DOES THAT MEAN?!!? She said look outside...

SO I DID (can you see me and the rust on the door right in front of my face, I HAVE NO idea how that door got that rust JUST right there in front of my face. I think the door makers must have gave us one defecterative door!!)

ANYWAY Mom said No, look out in the BACK yard...

WTF?!?! That is in MY YARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mom asked me how I thought the 'cat snacks' end up in our yard. WTF I figured they were dropped out of the sky by like Santa Claws or ACME Cat SNack deliveries.

Thats it, I need to keep one eye on the front yard and one on the back...

This is bound to work!!!! But then...if I scare that cat more snacks! Thinking about this is hurting my little brain, I am going to sleeps.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Sunday Sadness...

I was sitting around doing some thinking...

when I realized I probably could not go on another minute unless I had a treat...

so I explained this to my Mom...

And guess what, NO TREAT! Tanner was no help at all so in the end I bit his face and ran off. Also, did you notice my Dad trying to calm me down with pets, NO DEAL. If my Steelers don't win today I might just move to Canada, I bet Sophie would give me treats.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Saturday Catch Up....

Mom is such a bum that she doesn't usually get to other dog's blogs til the weekend, we apologize for that. Hopefully when baseball season is over she will be better about her duties. Her team the Dbacks are in LAST PLACE so no chance for them going to the playoffs so her season will be over soon. BUT my Yankees are going to the World Series this year, I can feel it!! Speaking of the Dbacks...

Happy Birthday Ryan Roberts
Mom really likes this guy...remind you of anyone...

Tom, Noah and Seth
She must have some thing for tattooed guys who take goofy photos. Check out my human cousins back when they were just little pups!!!!

Anyway...Tanner would like everyone to know that yesterday was his wife Lillie's birthday.

We got some cards in the mail from the Humane Society and Tanner is convinced they sent him cards of Lillie...

It does sort of look like her!

He snozzled it all up, so we won't be sending that card to anyone.

He also insists that Mom put those stickers all over his little house. Not sure how one would put stickers on metal bars, but this is Tanner we are talking about.

You see what I have to deal with?? I hope you all have a great weekend, we will be around to bloggies I promise!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Happy Fall... kind of...

Well it is fall again, but guess what, it is supposed to be 106 here this weekend. We don't really have seasons in the desert, just hot and less hot and then sometimes cool. Cool then becomes COLD to us desert dogs and it stinks.

I have been practicing ways to keep warm but without compromising my integrity...

See, I am keeping my butt warm, but keeping my head as far away from Tanner as possible. So far this seems to work pretty well.

Of course if that doesn't work, I always have my sleeping bag...

Joey in his sleeping bag

Happy Fall guys!!(Happy Spring to my down under pals)

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Tanner TOOF Day

So the other day that Joey was making fun of me when I was telling one of my GREAT stories...he said my teeth are TOO SMALL.

HOw can your teeth be too small?????

I had Mom assist me in taking some photos of my teeth to submitt for your Approvation...

Ok so that is just a small preview...looks TOTALLY NORMAL to me!!!

UM OK so they are a bit small...BUT Joe says I have to show the bottoms...

OMDOG He is rolling on that floor laughing at me!!! He calls them my Doofus Toofus :(

Do you guys think I need DENTURES?!?!?!?!
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Monday, September 21, 2009

Garage plans may be on hold...

So I was sitting around planning where I was going to put my new garage, thinking the front yard would be fine for it...

When Mom said that the city does not allow us to just put up garages anywhere we want. WTF?! What kind of fascist state am I living in here?!?!

Tanner then explained he got the same answer when he tried to build his own hair and makeup salon...when did THAT happen? I think I am sleeping too much in my old age...(please note the look on my face, I tend to TOTALLY zone out when Tanner starts telling one of his hour long stories that always start with 'hey buds hey buds hey buds hey buds' and then end with 'and then I had to kill them' - I think he watched too many episodes of the Sopranos when we had HBO)

On top of that setback the Steelers LOST yesterday. I am preparing a package of poop to mail to the kicker who missed TWO field goals. I am definitely having a case of the Mondays :(

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Joe's Garage

Since I failed at finding Lillie's Cat I am thinking I need another vocation besides part time detective.

So, I ordered a shirt and figured I'd get down to business...

Can't quite tell what business from this angle, other than professional handsome dog...

Oh ya, I am going to open my own garage!! But wait a minute...I think they messed up at the shirt shop...

WALLY?!??! The handsome Corgador's name is on MY shirt?? Hm, well I guess it will have to do...

So who wants a custom cycle from Joe Stains Wally??

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This dude clearly loves his!!!!

Hm, I am tired after a long day of work in the garage. What Mom? Oh, well, I don't really HAVE a garage yet...but I am tired from thinking about my garage!! AND from being handsome, it is hard work!

Thursday, September 17, 2009

hats off to you, Lacie, Scruffy and Baby Stan

Lacie sent me this GREAT Steelers hat. I have tons of Steelers stuff, but this is my first hat.

I like how I can pull it down low and hide from Mom and Tanner. The flashy box doesn't blind me when I have it on.

I don't know if I am an accessory kind of guy, what do you think?? am I a hat dog??

Tanner had to try it, of course. But I look a lot better in it.

Thanks again Lacie, Scruffy and Baby Stan. I will wear it this weekend for the game!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Award and glad to be home!!

Well we are home. I am very sorry that I gave everyone a scare being missing like that, but when I start watching the Steelers I just lose all track of time. Plus I was pretty much in a hamburger coma the whole time with the Teka truck being right there serving them up grilled to perfection.

Tanner wanted me to share this GREAT photo of the party Asta threw for him, he was so honored.

Thanks Asta, you rock.

Just before we left, Eric the Square dog earned himself a stain award with the following effort...

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KUDOS my friend!!! Congrats on receiving the coveted STAIN AWARD!

stain award

Since Mom has missed me so much and was so worried, I let her take a couple of really handsome photos of me...

Hold on, this last one is going to melt you...

We had a blast in South Africa, but I am happy to be home!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


GUYS we totally found that JOEY!!

Petey sent this SUPER pawesome card showing ME as TANZAR!!! omdog I am loving this image LOLOL.

Ok but seriously, Joe was such an a$$hole for just totally hanging out eating BURGERS and watching Steelers while we were risking our LIVES to save him. And he ALMOST ruined my birthday. AND Sophie was mad at him for leaving, he has LOTS of splainin to do!!

sophie on a plane

Well Mom was being a threatener about my pressies so I FLEW home just to open it!!

THERE IT IS!! Its from BabyStan, Scruffy and the LacieBeast!!!!

LOOK at those COOL pressies!!??!? Its a small corn shank, and a STEELERS HAT and some jerky treats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omdog but the hat is for JOE, thats ok, he is the biggerest steelers fan EVER!

OMDOG look at that card?!?! That does NOT look like me on the front of that card, that dog is fatterest and the Lacie Beast is NOT getting a date with me!! NO WAY! she can have all those crocodillys! THANK YOU GUYS FOR THE GREAT PRESSIES!!!!!

I am just going to test this out for a MINUTE before I go back to South Africa!! Guys, I AM FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, September 14, 2009


So tomorrow is Tanner's birthday and they still have not found Joey. I sent him a text that he got a present in the mail and he can't have it until he gets serious and finds his brother.

He texts me back this photo...

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and says "ME TANZAR YOU MOM." That is it. argh.

So I don't know if Tanner will be back in time for his birthday tomorrow but he PROMISES he will do a Tanner Tuesday update.

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I gotta say this picture of them finding Joey's Steelers blankie made me pretty sad, I sure hope they find our Joey.