Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Thursday, August 30, 2007


Ok Ok some dogs want to see my Dad's back, please please be warned that this might be scary for you young pups and timid types.

I rate this to be PG 13!!


The thing on his back is actually based on a Japanese mask called a Hannya, here is the description.

"The Hannya mask, with its horns and sharp fangs, is probably the best known of all Noh masks. This character was once a beautiful woman who fell in love with a priest. Her unrequited love causes her to turn into a monster who expresses the fury of a woman overwhelmed by jealousy and anger."

The only time I see my dad express fury is when the Yankees are losing!!

PEE S. Photo was taken by Kristen Wright.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

We have been asked a lot of questions lately so I would like to take the time to answer all of you!

Lorenza asked about how we convinced our Mom to give more than just dry kibble. The answer for that one is easy, you get a dog that has a stinky, smelly, leaky BUTT! Tanner's butt glands were messed up so the Vet said to give us fruits, veggies and other high fiber stuff so that our um production from the nether regions was more um productive. That way the gland naturally secretes. So far so good!

Asta, Ben Benjamin and Simba asked if the scary green chipmunk was still alive and the answer is YES! It is missing its squeaking function and has many puncture wounds but no pieces have been broken off, which means we get to keep it!

Amber Mae asked if the chipmunk is chewy and I have to say that it is the strangest material I have ever felt. Its like plastic but a little squishy, but hard enough that we cannot break any of it off! It also smells like Vanilla, YUM!

Chiyo and Fee asked if I still hump Tanner a lot, and the answer is NO. I pay attention to Tanner about a total of 30 minutes every day when we fight over toys. The rest of the day I completely ignore him.

Gus asked on behalf of Teka if our friend Rog has a girlfriend, and I don't think he does. He is an older man though, just like me. Sometimes he also gets excited and pees on the floor. BUT he is super awesome!

Joey is so ready for retirement
Look at those handsome terriers. Oh and the fat one too.

Finally, Grammie and a lot of other people ask about my Dad's tattoos. He has his whole upper body done and one of his lower legs is half done. His back is a scary Japanese guy with flames and junk so I won't show that because some of our younger dogs might get scared. I think its pretty cool though! He gets his work done by a good friend in town.
Here is a neat picture a friend of ours named Kristen Wright took. She is a good photographer!


Tuesday, August 28, 2007

somethings THAt have been done by ME in 2 years

SO it has Been TWO years since I came to hotterest ARziona to live with Mom Dad and the JOEY! Since those 2 years a lot of thigs have happened like these:

I had to get some surgeries to get a BAD bumpy taken off my leg and then I looked like THIS
sad tanner

Tanner is such a goof
I sleeped with my DAD like this and I love that!

tanner and gramps
I teached my GRAnd GRAND PA how to shake, he is REALLY smart!!

tanner was bored with our ride
I rode in some truck rides to places!

Tanner's patented arm bite
I made some gooderest friends like ROG!

We thought about starting our own singing group!!!

Tanner doesn't find my magazines exciting
I slept a LOT because I can rest for good knowing that I wont EVER have to be in JAIL scared ever ever AGAIN!

Monday, August 27, 2007

Happy Tanner-versary!!

Two years ago today life as I knew it came to an abrupt halt. I went to my great gram's house and there was this little dog there and BOY was he fun to hump. I humped him and humped him and humped him. Then it was time to go home, and this little humpy dog was in MY truck. Then he was in MY house. I continued to hump him and then Mom said, Joey...STOP! Then it was bed time and this little dog was in MY bed. This is how it has been everyday for the last two years. I don't know what I did to deserve such torment but I am dealing with it as best I can.

Mom said for Tanner's Anniversary he gets a new toy.

Its a chipmunk!

and it is kind of creeping me out...

Tanner told the chipmunk he was about to murder his squeaker...

And then he did just that!

Mom said for me to quit pouting because I was going to get something to help celebrate too!

Oh YUM! WE LOVE THIS STUFF! Mom said it is a holiday so we got some holiday stew with DEER in it!!!! I wonder if that deer from Wally and Ethel's park is in here?!

Doesn't that look AMAZING, Mom didn't forget our supplement either. (mine is the one on the left, I get more food because I am nice and thin -too thin really- and Tanner is um, well, he has like 3 chins as you can see in my last post)

Mom also brought THIS home from work today because she said they had a party there and nobody ate the fruit. Those computer dork types must not know how DELICIOUS fruit is, they could have at least picked out all the Wallymelon!!

oh, and don't worry, I got to try out the new toy too!

Sunday, August 26, 2007


So tonight on TV we get to watch the Steelers play preseason football against the Filthadelphia Eagles (sorry wally) and we are so excited.

Earlier Tanner was like I am soooo bored. We have nothing to do in this house. (note from Mom, the 300 toys behind him obviously mean nothing)

But then Mom said our Steelers were going to be on!!

I got my Awesome jersey on and got ready!

Tanner got his special blanket out from Aunt Patty and I tried to rest before the game, but of course he comes running right up to bug me.

Um, he touching me??

ARGH yes he is. sheesh, please go to your TV and cheer for MY STEELERS!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, August 25, 2007

cosmic bull pizzle

Today Mom went to the store where she gets our food and junk and came home with these delicious and fabulous treats for us. BULL PIZZLE!!!! This immediately made me think of my friend IKE. Well, it must have been a cosmic connection because Ike was busy starting up a contest over on his blog about ME! SO go to Ike's Blog and enter the contest. He is writing a song about me and you can add a line and win a FABULOUS prize!!! (I really hope he is giving Tanner away)

So now I need to share my pizzle pics!!

I have never seen a pizzle do this in real life, seems kind of painful, but I sure will eat it!!

This pic is in honor of Ike who has the most fabulous tongue ever.

Holy crap this is good.

The Doof got one too. Here he tries to wrap his entire face around it.

of course he has to yell WHATSSUUPPPP and try to high five the thing.

arrrrrrrr pirate tanner
And then he turns into some crazed pirate terrier.

I will be right here for the rest of the night. You better head over and add some lines to Ike's song!

Friday, August 24, 2007


Perfect Tosca has declared this laughing day and asked us how we would change a light bulb. Well, this would be easy. I would bark and bark and bark and bark and jump at Mom until she changed it. Done and Done!!! Us Boston's have people to do such silly tasks! Check out Tosca's blog to see how a Perfect dog does it!

SO we still have not been getting new pics of us, which I must say makes me VERY happy. So we shall continue with the OLDIES but GOODIES. Speaking of old, Mom was like 28 in that picture you all said she looks so young in, now she is ancient as sand and time, 31!! CAN YOU HANDLE IT she is like as old as the ocean and stuff.

ALSO speaking of OLD the Doofus cannot stop talking about how he is going to be FOUR next month. He seems to think he will suddenly know as much as me just because he is 4. I DONT THINK SO, but I won't bust his doofus bubble.

I think today I will share some of my MOST favorite photos.
snug joe
This is when I got stuck in the blanket, but I sure didn't care I was comfy!

THis is me in SUPREME ALERT. This is at our old apartment where we had an outdoor table where I would stare at kitties. They were everywhere so I had to be ready at all times!!

cold rainy day wear
This is my impression of the Emporer from Star Wars! THE FORCE IS STRONG IN THIS ONE!

This was right after Tanner got here, there was no way I was sharing my Cuz.


Thursday, August 23, 2007

techno crap

Mom is doing some crap and she needs to put this link in our post so later this post might disappear. we are establishing our Technorati Profile

and apparently they have SPIDERS that look for that link?! wtf, any other doggies out there do this junk? did the spiders get you?!

To make this worth it, lets put a handsome pic of ME on here!


Wednesday, August 22, 2007

my faithful readers

I apologize for the lateness of my entry but my Mom and Dad went to the movies. I don't understand why they GO to the movies when we have movies delivered to the house and they can watch them with US. Mom said at the movies you get popcorn and then take it to a machine that dispenses an ENDLESS SUPPLY OF BUTTER. I believe that when we get sad about our friends that have passed over the rainbow bridge that we should remember this heavenly machine because there is probably one every 10 feet over the bridge.

So because Mom has been out and about doing things without us, she has no new pictures to share. But NEVER fear Mom has been flashing that crazy camera in my face non stop for 7 years and we have only been blogging for two so we have a great collection of photos to share.

Joey is inspired by all of the fun going on in the house and he decides to hump a pillow
This photo I like to call, "Terriers Gone Wild" This features me, my pillow and my best dog friend Roger, or Rog for short. I have known this guy since I was real young and we are the same age. The pillow, I just met it about 3 years ago but you can see we have a pretty good relationship.

That is me in a BIG pool. That is my Dad laughing at me in a big pool. That is my friend Javier who loves the pool. THAT IS ME ANGRIER THAN I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY WHOLE LIFE. I hated that pool. I hated it every second I was held in that water.

it might be cool and dark but joey is still watching the street to protect us
This is how I roll in the winter, I hate being cold. The deal is, you cover me with a nice blankie, I will protect the family from intruders and the mailman.

Joey and Tanner
Mom said just put that one up because its cute. whatever, I was obviously EXHAUSTED when this was taken because there is no other way I would let that doofus get that close to me.

Me and Joey
AND since Mom made me put up a picture of ME and the DOOFUS how about a picture of ME and MOM! See how she likes that ... This picture was taken before we got Tanner, notice I have NO gray hair!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

OMDOG 600 is the number that is a dog from my same jail

WHATTSUUUUUUPPPPPPPPP DOgs and hamster girls. This is Tanner not Tannerito this week because Dad is at his friends house and MOm went to see some bald puppy that HER friend had on Friday so it was like this tiny little baby and I said don't bring it home with you please. BUT she didn't bring home any tacos either so I don't get to be Tannerito!

SO this is like THE COOLEST that the DWB has 600 doggies now and do you KNOW WHAT?!

the 600th DOGGY is this blog, Surviving Bella and its about ONE dog called Survivor and ONE other dog called BELLA. This ONE dog Survivor does not LIKE the other dog BELLA and do you know where that Bella came from?? THE SAME JAIL I WAS IN!! We both went to jail in Ohio and then went home to FABULOUS brothers! HOW EXCITERING! I mean I had to go for a BIG car ride to get home but Bella is still in OHIO. JOEY said that the jail must have something wrong in the water because EVERY dog that comes from there is 'SPECIAL'. Wasn't that VERY nice of Joey to say I am SPECIAL!? I knew he likes me.

OKOK so now that you are all going to say hi to BELLA and SURVIVOR you want to see some pictures RIGHT?

This face is Called SMILING happy because I ate that WHOLE bark bar, then I tried to eat HALF of Joeys and he says I am a fat log and I cannot have it.

I think that if I was a fat log that I could not FLY? Have yOU ever seen one flying LOG?

Tanner dives in for the steal

ALSO fat dogs CANNOT climb trees!!!
tanner tree

tanner, messing with my camera
I think that I am the HANDSOME and just have MORE to love and that MAYBE in Ohio I just did not get enough to eat and now I get lots of GOOD EATINGERINGs so maybe sometimes I eat A LITTLE bit too much!!

well guys I want to SAY BYE and say HI to Bella from my jail and ummm I LOVE LILLIE!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

apologies and forgiveness

So, I was totally wrong yesterday because the Cardinals were playing the Texans, not the Titans. I guess I was just so mad I messed up! Anyway, the parents had fun and I stayed here sniffing around for what I might get for being left at home with the Doofus.

I found these, and guess what? We got them today! AWESOME!

Look at them in all of their peanut butter and carob-y goodness. This is as close to chocolate as us dogs can get!

The first nibble...

One must be delicate and not make a mess...


Mom likes to show this one becuase you can see my extra shark tooth.

Lets check in on the Doofus...

Oh dear, so much for delicate and clean. He is a MESS.

His whole bed was covered in bark bar GUNK.

But, I guess he was happy. I sure am glad Mom gives us nice yummy treats. BUT its still not as good as nachos.