Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Thursday, May 31, 2007

so angry

so Mom and Dad get back from minnesota, they have this birthday crap for Mom and then this Jeff guy comes over and makes this bench for out in front of our house. SO Mom sits out there with her computer and we have to stay INSIDE becuase we dont listen and cant be out front without a leash.

So we sit in here and look at them.

While Dad waters the grass...

Mom reads stuff on the computer...

and I am trapped in here with the Doofus! My life stinks!

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I am one handsome terrier too!

SO like everyone is like Joey is the handsomenest and Tanner is like a Doofus Face, whatever that means. So like I want you to see this!!!!

WHATTSSSSUPPP?!! who is the handsome now? right? can you see me????

from this side too so dont think I have one good side and then one doofus side. I am all sides handsome.

see what I mean? I am handsome, not doofus.

SOOOO Tomorrow is the birthday of my MOM! SHe is going to be like 219 or somthing like that in dog years and so I Was like OK do you have a WILL? OMG LOL!!!! I want her to leave me JOEY in her will so I can be like I OWN YOU BIT$# LOL!!!!!!! BUt she said no and that I can't be mean to Joey even though Joey is meanerest to me. She said for a birthday present she wants us to be good boys? WTF is that? Is there a costume I need to be a 'good boy'?? ANyone know how to turn into one of these things?????????? I told her I am going to be HANDSOME for her present!!!

Sunday, May 27, 2007

the parents are back!

view of Minneapolis
Here is a picture of where they were for the wedding. Look at all of that green grass I could have ran in!! But, I am glad they are home and uncle and our friend Jeff took good care of us and now I will give my Mom and Dad the cold shoulder until probably tomorrow.

Mom said she is too tired to take any new photos, so here is an old one of me looking especially handsome. I hope everyone is having a great weekend. Happy Memorial Day!

Friday, May 25, 2007

Luckie tags us for celebrity look alike!!

I am still pretty mad but then I found out that Tanner has to go to the vet this morning to get his butt drained, so MY life could be worse. I get to ride along and dad is going to walk me in the nice grass by the vets while Mom takes Doofus in to get his butt juiced. GROSSSSSSSSSS.

SO Luckie has tagged us to play the game where you say what celebrity you look like. Lets start with the Doofus.

Don Knotts

I am Tanner, hear me roar!
The Doofus. The resemblance is uncanny!!!

Now my turn.

Samuel L. Jackson, that Bad MFer.

mom says my teeth look funny, I think they look great!
Me Joe Stains, another Bad MFer!!!!!!!

Well, we will not be posting again until Sunday, have a good Saturday folks!!!!!!!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Say it aint so?!

So I have been noticing some unusual activity around Chez Stains so I figured I better bust out the old detective coat and see what the heck is going on.

This bag contains, magazines, a book, an ipod, a wallet and a phone. The front of the bag shows a bunch of animals in a bus... I think this means we must be going on a trip??

AH HA! A case full of clothes, very clever of Mom to not use the Black Box that all the other Moms and Dads use when they leave, but I am smart enough to figure her out. I wonder where we are going?!

WHAT?! I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE?!!!!!!!!!! WTF??? er WFT???? Mom and Dad are going to Mini Soda (that is Minnesota mr smarty pants - Mom) to see a wedding, WITHOUT US. We are being left at home with our uncle and we have NO choice in the matter. ME at HOME with the DOOFUS for 2 days with NO MOM AND DAD. Our uncle will be here and our friend Jeff is going to come by and make sure we can go out and pee and poop while uncle is at work on Saturday. I can't believe this BULLCRAP. So they leave tomorrow night at like 10pm and come back Sunday around lunch time. Mom said that is NOT a long time at all, but are you KIDDING ME.

I can't take this. We have been tagged for some more games but I will have to try to do them tomorrow, I am too upset right now for games.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

what the heck wednesday!

I cannot believe Tanner put those horrible pictures of me up, I just can't believe it. Then he calls me an OLD LADY?! I am seriously mad at that little jerk. But today is payback time because I get to post BAD pics of him.

Let me introduce you to...


Seriously, what is wrong with him? It is like he was given about 3 extra inches of face and he has NO idea what to do with it.

and what in the HECK is up with that crazy eye?

This speaks for itself. The Doofus has a toy snake tied around his neck, yet he happily plays with another toy! What is his problem??

Here it is folks, the ORIGINAL DOOFUS FACE. This is why he got his name to begin with. See his upper lip? See how its stuck like it is? That is the DOOFUS FACE!!

And don't you think that I was about to let him get away with that crap from yesterday without some reciprocation!

The only problem is I think he LIKES IT.

Now I will share the BEST picture of Tanner...

Ah, now that is how I like to see the little guy!!!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Tanner Tuesday is late again because the mom and dad likes answering tests

OMG I am so late again because Mom and Dad went to someplace called a PUB to play triv ee yuh? TRIB ee ya? I dunno but at this pub Mom ate something called WALLYs but not corgadors they were pickles fried and I said I dont like that. So now I am late but they got second place and won some $20 and that buys some cuz but then MOM said that just makes up for the $20 she sdonated on this Nice Doggy named Dora who needs a surgery for her HIP. Remembers I had a surgery and it was not fun and so you guys should make a click on that link and give some monies to DORA to get her hip better and to buy her some treats for after because that makes good dogs feel better. OMG YOU CAN SEND ME TREATS TOO LOL.

ANYWAY today we had a TAG by GUS Who should give TEKA every Tuesday since she MIGHT be my other girlfriend if Lillie allows me to have another girlfriend like BOO cASSinova. OMG SECRET BAD WORD. But anyway the TAG says show Joey in some funny clothes and me in a bad photo. I like to show Joey ok?



he is the madderest dog in the whole world!!!!!!!!!!

Mom said he looks just like a little old lady and I said OMG like you MOM? WHATSSSSSUPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!


So tomoorrow Joey gets to make a blogger about ME in a BAD picture, ok?

Monday, May 21, 2007

well now, we have recovered from our baths!

Ok so after our baths on Friday night we did absolutely NOTHING. It is too hot around here to do anything outside, so we entertained ourselves inside.

We practiced our Yoga. I call this pose the teapot.

This one is called beached whale. (look at his fat butt!!)

This pose is called Rising Moon.

Tanner worked on his meditation and here he appears to be doing his best to look like Buddha.

oops, he didn't find that one too funny.

After we reached our moments of zen, we settled in with Dad for some baseball.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Tag we are it

We got tagged to post 7 things about us that you may not know. SO here we go, 7 from me and 7 from the Doofus.


1. One time when I was younger I was staying with my Grandma and Grandpa and they went out to dinner and they used to close me in a bedroom, which was MY room. Well, I got mad in there and ripped up about 3 feet of carpet AND the padding, all the way down to the cement. woops.

2. When I yawn I make this noise that sounds like I am saying WOAH.

3. I sometimes pee on other dogs at the dog park.

4. I HATE weird noises. I get very angry when people sneeze or making funny noises. I BARK and yell at them.

5. I also HATE when people blow air on my butt. It makes me SO mad!

6. I do not like having my belly rubbed.

7. I know so much stuff.


1. OMG I love MOM and I go EVERYWHERE she goes, all the time, even in the showers.

2. I eat earplugs, a lot. Then they come out in my POOP all in one piece.

3. I rode in a car from OHIO to Arizona to live with this Mom and DAD. my old Mom said her son was allergiks to me. The old mean MOm took me to a jail where my very best favorite Aunt PAtty said OH no I will take you home and then drive you so far to see your new mom and dad. she is the bestest aunt.

4. I fall out of the bed sometiems when I am sleeping!

5. WHEn it is sleeping time I come to Mom in the bed and I claw mom on the shoulder nice like I am digging so she knows I want to go under those blankets with her. Then I get out of the blankets when it gets too hot and then I claw her again to go under when I get cold. I like to do this about 5-6 times every night!

6. I Have a Girldfriend named LILLIE but right downt the road there is a girl named TEKA who might be a girlfriend too but I dont think I am allowed to have tWO girlfriends? LILLIE do you think that is bad? BOO Cassanova has like 409 girlfriends.

7. My name is TANNER and that does not mean Doofus but people call me that. I say WHATSSSSSSSSSSSSUP DOOFUS. OK now it is Joey's turn again.

Ok, I have one more thing to show you guys, then we are going back to watching baseball.

Look at what that Doofus Face Tanner did. HE GOT ONE OF THOSE BIRDS!!!! THEN he brought it into Mom and Dad's bedroom!! Mom and Dad were so not happy about this, I thought for sure the Doofus was going to have to pack his bags and go, but Mom said Tanner did that because he wants to give them presents. I just can't believe he caught a bird before I did. I need to start training.

Friday, May 18, 2007

TGIF? I don't think so!

So it is Friday, which is supposed to be like the awesome time because it is the weekend. Instead, we got BATHS! Can you believe that crap?!!!!

The Doof went first

He makes it a point to try to drink as much water as he possibly can.

He really doesn't like baths

He looks extra mad here

This one he said he was trying to look like Wally. I think he sort of looks like him, just not nearly as cool.

Oh man, then it was my turn.

The Doof has to be RIGHT in my face to annoy me.

Please Mom and Dad, I am always such a good dog, do I deserve this?

Apparently I deserve even WORSE. TOOTHBRUSHING?!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally, the best part, AFTER the bath when I go NUTS. Dad yells at Tanner because he tries to run off with his pillow thingy and then Tanner and I get into an argument over who hated the bath more. I make some strange noises here, but it is only because I HATE the bath!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Thanner Thursday!!!! WHATTSSSSSSSSUP!

OMG SO Like I was sad but now I am happiers again and Joey found my Corn thing and I think it is a funny thing because I made it like a pointy and when Mom goes to sleep it goes OUCHY into her foot because I always leave it on the bed. LOL! I dont do to hurt her but sometimes I forgets and fall asleep and then there it is. So here is how I make the corn to a pointer corn.

Did you see me?! I am going to show this one too, that when I make the corn pointy my mouth makes bubbles!!

Joe says I have Ray Bees, but I don't know that guy and I sure don't like bees.

So like someone said that they want to know what this corn is and it is called NYLABONE. They are my very best favorite toys because I can chew them up forever and they dont have to go into the trash.

ONE more thing that made me so cited was this...

Here in my bed there was some stuff Mom said Tanner look at this. I said, Mom I will look at this but You MOM don't look at that water cap because I am not supposed to take waters out of the garbage anymore, so you don't see that ok??


FUFU BEARY SODA?!?!?! NOOOOOOOOO FuFu is inside this drink?!?!?!!!!!


What? Oh um, no he is not inside this drink but mom bought it for me to see because I love Fu Fu and maybe he is making soda over that rainbow bridge for some guy named Mr Jones? Maybe he knows Mr Ray Bees???