Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Thanks guys!

I just want to share with you a comment from Chief's Mom and Dad.

Thanks for all of your kind thoughts for Chief and his friends and family! Chief was a very special, sensitive guy...he even liked the Doof. After his diagnosis at the end of January...he got lots and lots of extra attention. Our other dogs seemed to understand. He seemed to savor his last few months...exploring every inch of the yard (slowly), socializing with the neighbor dogs, and getting all of the extra pets.

Thanks for all of your support! Aunt Patty and Uncle Dick

Also, since we have all been a little sad here but it is ALMOST TIME for the Dog With Blogs Year Anniversary Wine and Cheese party, I want to share some funny things to cheer us up!

I am not sure what Doofus is doing here...ok I admit, I NEVER know what the Doofus is doing, but this is one of his more strange moments.

Don't worry guys I am being nicer to him. Last night I even let his foot touch mine in the bed without freaking out and jumping to the other side. Now, that is love!

Invaders from planet terrier
I posted these a LONG time ago, but they are still funny. Ok they were not funny when we were wearing them, but after, I guess they are funny.

WHATSSSUP now Tanner?! hahahaha!!

LOOOL! OMG if you guys aren't laughing yet, something is wrong with you!!!

Ok, well thanks for all the kind words and we look forward to the chat this weekend!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Goodbye Dear Cousin Chief

chief and poe

Today, our cousin Chief went to the big dog park in the sky. Over the rainbow bridge and on to a better life with no pain and all the treats he could ever want.

A few months ago we told everyone that Chief was having heart problems and you all sent kind thoughts and dog licks and we know that helped keep him going, so thank you all!!!

chief and tanner
When our aunt was fostering Tanner before he came to Arizona, Chief was Tanner's good friend. We were lucky to see Chief at Christmas when he made the long drive out here again for his last big car ride. Tanner sure enjoyed hanging out with him again.

Well, we are sad here but glad that our cousin is not suffering and that he had a long life and now he is having a blast with all of our dog friends that are up there with him!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Tanner TUESDAY!!!!!!!!!!

WHATSSSSSSUP!!! So like everyone said Tanner why is your eye red and I say it is red because I am allergiks to the grass BUT I LOVE the grass! And I love the sticks, and last night I eated one stick and then at like the middle of the night I went huaaahh huuuaaaaaah huuuuaaaaaaaaaaahhh and I barfed up a bunch of stick! Pretty cool huh!!!!!!

So now a lot of people said we want to know how to make the cookies that Mom made that were like SO good. So I found that book...

Hmmm I am learning how to read here, but I don't see where it says CORN...

Hopefully you guys have more ingrediments than just corn, but that is all I have!!!

So here is how to make some cookies!!!

Ok here is the Stuff you need and how much of it:

Bannaannanananana Mutt Cookies

1 1/2 cups ripe mashed bananananananananas
1/2 teaspoon vanilla exlax (that is extract- Mom)
3 cups OATS
1/2 cup chopped Pee Nuts
1/4 cup mapplesauce

OK once you have all this stuffs, you have to do these tricks to make it work!

Pre Heet your oven to 350 degrees. If you live somewhere that does not do Fair In Height, I don't know how hot that means, maybe like 1 million celcius hots?

OK Mix all that stuff in that list up there together a lot til it is all one big thing of mixed up.

Drop spoonsfuls of the mix on to an ungreasy baking sheet then press them flat with a fork!

Bake them in the oven for about 15 minutes, then cool them on a rack before you eat them or your mouth will catch on fire!!!

Store them in a container where no air can get in if you don't eat them all at once!!

OMG SO DAAAA RRRNNN easy!! You thought I would say a bad word!!!! LOL OMG!

Ok, finally if you are not so tired from so much baking watch this video because Joey gets so mad at the neighbor raking his rocks that he HOPS up and down and mom said it is so funny!!!

Monday, April 23, 2007

I am the cookie monster!

This weekend Mom got this GREAT book

and in this GREAT book she found this recipe

and she made us these GREAT banana nut treats!!

I guess this makes up for not bringing us back anything from Las Vegas. She even let Doofus lick the bowl...

Speaking of the Doofus, he is practicing some of the sleeping positions he saw on The Army of Four's blog.

Hope you all are having a good monday!

Friday, April 20, 2007

There is no place like home...

So FINALLY my mom is home from Las Vegas and she did not bring us ANYTHING at all, but she did finally give us what she has been hiding in the closet for weeks!

what is up there?
What is that up there...

NEW CUZ!!!!!!!!!!

the race
I grab the purple one, and of course the Doofus chases me

joey's patented pinning the cuz in the corner move
But he can't get the Cuz with my awesome move of hiding it in the corner...I am the Cuz master...

pink cuz
Tanner ended up with the Pink Cuz, because he is a little GIRL!

I apologize for this moment where I lost control, I just go wild over Cuz.

on the lookout
Then when I was sure the Doofus was not around...I got serious...

I just love my cuz...and then I ripped its GUTS OUT!!!!

I think I need to get some of that "Just for Men" hair dye, but do they make "Just for older dogs" ?? Or do you think I look distinguished with my gray hair?

Anyway, here are some movies!

If you turn up your speakers you can hear how disgusting the Doofus's Cuz gets as he fills it with spit! I am much more serious about my Cuz, because I LOOVE them.

I also love my couch, and I love to lick it. Mom thinks this is gross and doesn't like when I do it, but I love my stuff, and I love to make sure it is clean. Mom says that is something a stupid cat would do, but I say NO WAY!

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Tannerrs Tuesdays!

Yo! people its again the Nano! mom and dad calls me Nano sometimes cause im a little guy. Mom is out of the towns at a work show place. i wanted to go there with mom, i could have my own little booth and my company is called tanner Tech. then the people asks what tanner tech does and then ill just poop on the floor. Joe says we could party when mom was gone, so i got the most excited.

I jumped in the trees like, hey buds hey buds could you see me? you see me?

tanner tree

Then i was callin all the people for Tanners party and I said Stains world, Stains world, its party time and its excellent. like that movie. then i couldnt hear some people, joe said i didnt use it right i dont know.

Picture 1563

I getted so excited i had to make a drink and calm down. 1 water with ice and lemons in it! i mixed it so good. you could see me drinking it?

Picture 1566

then i watched the movie with the party and the funny song that says "everynow and then i get a little terrified and see the Fuc...look in your eyes.

Picture 1565

Then i seed the video song on the tv thats sayin its gettin so hot in here and take off my clothes. i didnt have any clothes on but then i was messing my own clothes up. Joe runned away from me.

Picture 1568

I was then still partying and i didnt know where the joes is and i found him readin the Michael Crichton book then i messed him up!

Picture 1569

Dad says we have to not party on tomorrow cause the baseballs are playing on the tv!
Its fun party time! hi mom! could you see me??!

Nano out!

Monday, April 16, 2007


This is a sad day for us in America with lots of sad people and mean people doing bad things.

I hope everypup and their families are ok tonight.

Mom is leaving tomorrow, so I am sad here too :( Dad will update for Tanner Tuesday to hopefully make everyone smile.


Friday, April 13, 2007


What an honor. I am speechless...

make your own here!!


Happy Friday friends! I thought I would clarify the tree situation since the doofus is, the doofus.

Yesterday, the Phoenix AZ area had record breaking wind gusts. Apparently the gusts were too much for this old tree to take and it collapsed. Our uncle who is very smart about tree stuff said it was rotten on the inside and that is why it fell over so easy.

Now, when Tanner refers to his 'little house' he means his cage/crate. This crate is my Mom and Dad's room so he was in no danger. I am not a horrible dog so I don't need to be in a crate but do NOT have access to the outside when Mom and Dad are not home, so we were safe and sound. But as some dog's said, we were real lucky it didn't fall on the house.

Here is a video of something you can do with Tanner when he is in his 'little house' that is really funny.

I am real good at video games
But enough of this business, its Friday, I am going to go play some Play Station!!

Have a GREAT weekend everypup!!!!

Thursday, April 12, 2007


It is Tanner here and only because OMG the craziest thing happened today and it was like the scariest thing ever!!! TOday Mom and Dad were at work and so was our uncle and I was in my little house and all of the sudden I hear this huge noise and I was like WTF Joey?! I thought he like made a big fart or like fell out of bed or something, but OMG I couldn't see and I was in my little house and Joey was like HOLY SHIII....and then we had to wait like 309 years for Mom and Dad to come home and when they came home Dad opened the back door and you know what he said, HOLY SHIIIIII....

YA OMG the Tree BROKE!!!!!!! I didn't DO IT!!!!!

no more grapefruit tree!
THis is what Dad saw and I was like OMG WHATTTTTTTTTTSUUPPPPPPPPP TREEEEEEE You lost to MOTHER F'IN NATURE!! BIIIIAAAATCCH! OMG LOOOOLLLS!!!!! There are like grapefruits all over but I sure did not eat them because I know better.

no more grapefruit tree!
It just totally broke in half like nothing! That wind was STRONG like Joey!

no more grapefruit tree!

SO I am going to go pee all over the parts of the tree that used to be way up in the sky where no dog has ever peed before!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

wednesday's child is full of woe

I always feel like I am aplogizing after Tanner Tuesdays. I do apologize if any of you were eating while reading that post. I mean, I know I told the Doofus he can post about whatever he wants, but that post was just over the top. Don't worry, I got him back for grossing everyone out today by scratching his face!! It was a good game of fighting over the Nylabone corn and somehow I caught Tanner right near his eye. Mom and Dad thought I gouged his eye out (how cool would that have been) but it was just some blood and a little cut. I think he gets hurt on purpose to get sympathy.

Today I found a link to a paper shredder that is powered by a Hamster wheel. Of course I thought of Fu Fu our honorary dog who is actually a Hamsterrier. Fu Fu can earn some serious money doing this, and then use the shredded paper as bedding in his house!!

What do you think Fu Fu??

come here!
Remember I told you the Doofus likes water bottles. Here he got one from Mom but it was a BIGGER bottle than he was used to. He had all kinds of problems with it.

ah ha!
Mom and I sat and laughed at him for a while...but then I got sleepy...

I lay down with my chicken cuz when I spotted something at the end of my bench. It was a black box. It looked a lot like the black box Sunshade's Aunt Veronica had when she left, and the one Blu and Comet talk about when their lady leaves. I asked my Mom what in the heck that thing was doing there and she said she was going to Las Vegas for work. I said, great, I have never been to Las Vegas. Then she said I was not going. Are you KIDDING?! She is going to a trade show and not taking the most handsome thing this side of the Mississippi?? No wonder she does techy stuff and not sales because if she knew ANYTHING about marketing, she would have me front and center at that trade show. So we will be here with Dad and Mom promised to show dad how to make a post on here so hopefully we will still be able to give you an update. She will be gone Tue-Thu, so who KNOWS what might happen on Tanner Tuesday next week!!

I still can't believe I can't go, I was even practicing my poker!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

200th Tuesday!!!

WHATTSSSSSSUPPPPPPPP!!!!!!! Today is the 200th post on this blog and you would think that it should be Joe who is making it but forget about it because today is Tanner Tuesday and I rule this place on Tuesdays. So in Joey's post he said how he likes to look at the birds and then someone else said what are the fruit in that tree you are looking at and I will tell you that it is called GrapeFruit. I will tell you something else and that is when the grapefruits are on the ground and they are open and then they are black and there are bugs crawling in them DONT EAT THEM!! Because one time I totally ate one and OMG I pooped and threw up EVERYWHERE! This is back when mom and dad let me out of my little house while they were not at home and instead of just pooping and puking in my little house I did it all over everything in the entire house. Mom and dad were gone for like 2 hours and then let me show you every place I made a huge mess!!!

blod fodder
I puked right about here, this was a good one, real chunky and disgusting. LOL

blod fodder
I threw up here too, hahaha LOL oh man this is sooo funny!! Puke and Poop is HILARIOUS!!!

blod fodder
I threw up some right there next to that sweet steelers garbage can in my uncle's room!!

blod fodder
And a little right there in Mom and Dads room, OMG I was so sick!!!

blod fodder
I pooped in this bathroom and threw up in the other bathroom but mom always has a mess in that bathroom so we cant take a picture because you might see some dirty socks or like some hair or something because she is so messy.

blod fodder
THe best spot and the funniest was RIGHT HERE! I mean, Why did I puke on the fireplace...ya know what, I DONT KNOW!!!!!!!!! BUt I was like check it ouutt do you see me?! I puked!

Then because I was making a big mess all over JOey made a stain right in front of the TV. Mom and Dad new it was joey because it was a solid poop and because for some reason Joey has ALWAYS loved to stain right in front of the TV.

So like, that was one of the funniest days ever and now Mom and Dad make sure to pick up all the grapefruits because they said our house smelled so bad they could barely stand it. THe worst partt was I had to get a bath that night because I sort of fell asleep in some of my puke. OMG THIS IS THE GROSSEST BEST STORY EVER!!!!!!!

So now I am locked in my little house but not because I pooped and puked all over but because I ate some stuff like a TV remote and some tape and umm some garbage and a whole bunch of other things people shouldnt bother leaving where I can get to them because of course I will eat them.

Monday, April 09, 2007

stuck in a rut

Thanks to everydog that added themselves to my map, I LOVE IT!

So recently we haven't been doing anythng exciting around here. Mom and Dad went to eat lunch on easter WITHOUT us and so we just sat around hoping that bunny would show up and bring us some candy.

So I have been laying in bed watching a lot of baseball, trying to avoid the Doofus.

look at my paw
The Doofus wants to show you his paw.

It is looking a lot better.

i want to eat that
Tanner just wants to eat the water bottle. He loves water bottles and usually doesn't wait for Mom and Dad to finish drinking the water, he just steals them.

hey birds
While the Doofus is busy posing I am taking care of serious business in the back yard. We have too many birds and they yell and yell and I can never catch them.

joey enjoying the weather
I stalk them all over the yard, but they are elusive. Someday one of those birds is going to be mine, just you guys wait!!

eating a stick
While I am busy hunting for birds, the Doofus is busy eating a stick. Thank goodness Mom and Dad have me to keep the yard safe.

I hope you all had a good Easter.