Tanner Tuesday first time in FUREVER!

SO I am finally posting on a Tuesday after like eleventy weeks!!!! So like what do I have to talk about you want to know???




I was sitting around the other day when I was all, MOM I am starverating to death!!




All of that sudden she says, have one of those crazy carrot bones. I said OK.




But then she let Joey have one too. He did not even ask and did not even look starverating.




YUM these things are the BEST.




Mom said JOEY say Cheese and he did and then you can see his totally screwed up mutant tooth he has. What a loser!!!

AND then I totally caught Joey sleeping in my little bed...




WHAT A JERKS! That is MY little bed. I think he is getting even more crazy in his old age because he would NEVER go in my little bed before like ever.

Oh and Joey has to be wearing those shirts because he is like OMDOG I am so itchy all that time and Mom thinks it is the carpet so she is going to steam them up or something I don't know.

ANYWAY, I had to get back in my bed and get all his old man smell out of there like right away.





I hope you have not all missed me so much you are crying. I have missed you guys and Mom is a jerk and now we will try to visit some blogs.

Tan Torkelson reunited and it feels so good, OUT.

Summery Sunday

So we said our goodbyes to the Flat One. He really has inspired me to INSIST Mom and Dad take me more places.




See that look on my face?? It means, YOU WILL NOT GET AWAY WITH LEAVING ME AT HOME. Pretty convincing isn't it?




Flat Brutus got one more AZ photo in and then hopped in his posh traveling envelope and headed to Texas. We enjoyed hanging with the flat dude.




After he left Tanner and I went out to do some sunning, I am looking rather pawesome in my pink polo shirt.




Dad always folds it up because he thinks I am going to pee on it, come one dude, my name is Joe Stains...let me do my thing!!




...thinking about Sophie, life, dreams, bacon...




I have no idea what Tanner thinks about while he is sunning, probably just how to annoy me.




I am getting out of here before he comes up with something!

Bye Bye Brutus...

So Brutus is on his way out of here, we are just waiting for the email to tell us where to send him next. Last night he got to go somewhere that I never get to go. I think I need a flat self or something!!

Here is a hint...


Dbacks...


Yep, that looks like his flatness at the DBACKS GAME!!


Omdog, what great seats too! I can't believe how lucky he is. He got to see the Yankees' cross town rivals the Mets.


Brutus went straight for Dad's beer! I sure hope his Mom doesn't think we are corrupting the poor flat dude.


He asked Mom to take a photo of his favorite Dback, Justin Upton. I asked why he picked him as his favorite...he said they totally look alike.


WOW, he is kind of right!

Well tomorrow we say goodbye to the flat guy, he has been loads of fun even if he went on more adventures than we EVER get to go on.

Flat Brutus has more fun than I do

So this Flat Brutus guy is pretty cool except he gets to go places that I do not! WTF?


He went to a BBQ at our friend Brandon's house, granted there is a pool there, which I HATE, but STILL! I could have sat on the grass and guarded the grill...

I figured Brandon must not like having real dogs at his house, which is why we could not go...


But oh no...what is that sitting by the grill area???


HOLY CRAP it is my booootiful old friend Dozer and she is hanging out with Flat Brutus. I think Brutus even got her phone number?!

WTF?!?!?! Grrrrr I am not talking to my parents for a while...jerks!

Things that go bump in the night...

The other night we were watching some baseball when I heard some terrible thumping and fussing at the front door. I was all, WTF?!

We opened the door to discover the postman had left us an envelope, many many many hours ago. Uh Oh...

IT WAS FLAT BRUTUS!! He was outside all day in the 115 degree heat! OMDOG!!!


Tanner immediately took him to our blanket fort in the dog room.


He started to do CPR...but on the wrong end!! I had to step in and take control at this point.


There we go, that is better!! I think he is coming around now.


Are you ok buddy?? I think he is going to be just fine. whew!! I know what will make him feel even more relaxed...


That's right buddy, just relax. You have had a long and hot journey to get here.

THEN we will start the partying!! :)

The moon is made of green cheese???

WHATSUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPP It is a Wednesday not a Tanner Tuesday but you get TANNER anyway.

Today I would like to tell you about something very interesteresting. I have heard that the MOON is made of green cheese, which sounds totally believable to me. But then Mom said that she had bones for us made of CARROT.

WTF? Carrots don't have BONES!?

She gave one to Joey and he was like, THIS IS NOT RIGHT.




But then he tasted it and was like OK this tastes really good!!


I gave it a lick first, just in case. hmmm tastes ok!


ATTACK! I wonder what bone from the carrot this is? The arm bone? the Knee bone?? hmm.

ANYWAY, while Joe sits around being old and boring I have been on an ADVENTURE... check out Mango's blog to read all about it.

Tan Torkelson Carrot Anatomy Specialerest OUT!

So....hot.....can't.....think

OK, it is like SO hot here. Like 110 in the day and then the LOW of 90 at night.




Tanner appears to be melting to his little bed...




I sure hope he doesn't get stuck to that thing!!

I told Mom that we need a vacation. She said those cost too much so we need a STAYcation.

WTF is that?

She said we can escape to paradise. That sounds ok...




Yes, I definitely thing she is on to something...what is that thing??




OH DEAR it is some kind of freakazoid Lacie Beast smoothie maker?! I hope this doesn't attract the beast to my house like some kind of intoxicating magnet?!

I am going to go hide under my snuggle ball until that machine is safely back in the garage where it belongs.

I am still alive I swear!!

omdog guys, we totally disappeared for like a week and forever or something. Mom has been so not having fun at work, but that is because they are really busy, which is a good thing. And they are hiring new people and Mom got a new boss, and those are good things too. AND guess what.

Her new boss is... A YANKEE FAN!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really should go in and meet him and we can totally chat about the best baseball team ever. Guess what else, his name is JOE. Talk about a pawesome boss!

Oh ya...

So Mom hit the 'mark all as read' button on her bloggy reader and hopes to start fresh this week. But enough about that, let me give you what you all come here for...




ME! You might wonder why I am wearing a shirt when it is like 945039486 degrees out here in AZ. Well, I have had a case of the itchies since we moved in to the new house and Mom thinks it is the carpet. We are still investigating but this helps keep me from scratching my stomach.

And just in case you may have thought things changed while we were away...




NOPE! Tanner is still a total Doofus.

ALSO... Mom and Dad left me home alone on the 4th of July and this is how I felt when they were leaving...



At our new house you cannot hear any fireworks, unlike our old house where it was SUPER loud. So they did not feel bad about going out and leaving me at home. What jerks.

Ok, I promise we will be back to regular blogging soon. Mom is just feeling overwhelmed from work and stressed AND she got some new dumb thing called an iPad and I think she probably likes it more than she likes me.

I am thinking about making an iStain...