Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Dogter is IN!

WHATSSSSSSUUUUPPPPPPPPP Dogs?! So you know that the Mom is sick, Dad is almost better. I heard that LACIE was threatening offering to come be NURSEY to my Mom but I thought I should let you know that sometimes I don't just PLAY a dogtor on TV I am a dogtor!!!

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NOT that DOCTOR!! That is Dad's favorite Doctor, actually I think that ROSE babe is Dad's favorite ;) ;)

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Dr. Tan Torkelson here Mom, NO worries. Lacie saids I should make broth for Mom so I got right on that, Joey helped too!!

Joey helped me to get all those ingrediments together for some BROTH.

CHICKEN! I bet Mom will love those!

Joey said this is ANCIENT Asian ingredemint that makes the sinus go clear RIGHT away! Well that sounds good, THANKS Joey!!

This is some broths and vitamins, those will be great too!!! Joey said we need some medecines for coughing too. He said look in Dad's bathroom cabinet... OK!

Hmmm this doesn't look like MEDECINES!?

This looks like books about Planes and Whisky, WTF does Dad do in that bathroom?!?! Stupid humans!! I am going to go look in some other cabinets for Medicine...


He took a look at it...

He said YEP that is goooood cough Medicine!! I knew it!! I think it was made by that good Doctor, Dr Sammy Hagar!

I gots it allll together and made it in the blender that LACIE gave me. I was VERY safe!!

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I gived it to Mom and she took one sip and RAN to the bathroom! RUNNING IS GOOD!! Running means she must feel GREAT! I did it! I fixed MOM! If you guys want some Dr. Torkelson's Magic Medecine, PlEASE send $500.99 to ME and I will send you some OK?!

Monday, March 30, 2009

So Sorry!

We have not been visiting blogs because Mom is still not feeling well. She has to go in to work tonight to do some important stuff and then hopefully tomorrow she can go to that Urgent Care place and get something to make her feel better. We will visit blogs and try to comment as soon as we can.

Meanwhile, this is what Tanner and I have been doing...

It is nice and sunny here, so we have been catching some rays...

I must say I do look quite great in the sun, nice and black and shiny...

Tanner has been trying to master Jedi Mind Tricks to get Dad's sub to fly off of the table. I am impressed the Doofus didn't just hop up there and steal the food!!

I am going to go INSIST that Mom open up those Wild Boar treats that Sophie sent me. We will be visiting you guys soon I hope!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

I am the luckiest dog!!

Between parties I managed to stop home to check out this package Mom was talking about...


I think I fainted for a minute!!! I got the package open and read the VERY private card and then found these things that she sent for my birthday...

WILD BOAR!! She knows that I could probably KILL a wild boar because I am TOUGH, but this sure is easier. I cannot wait to taste these!!

Also in the package was this guy, a Canadian Moose!! Check out the fun I had with this guy...

Mom said I totally look like I am smiling here!!

Here are some movies of my Moose and I...

Finally, this video is me personally thanking Sophie. I won't tell Mom what I am saying here, but Sophie will understand... (sorry about the loud TV in this one, Dad was watching The Young Ones)

Thank you SO MUCH SOPHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Mom and Dad are still sick. I am partying but before I left I made sure Mom felt REALLY sorry for me...

I was kicked out of the snuggle ball...

The menace was totally comfy...

I was NOT amused. Mom said I will be really happy when I come home though, apparently a package arrived from a certain Diva...

Friday, March 27, 2009

We be Illin

Mom is sick. Dad is sick. The wind last night was so scary that I had to hide SEVERAL times because I was sure I'd look out the window and see some scary woman on a broomstick flying by.

I finally regained control of the snuggle ball after the terrible night of fear, when something even scarier happened.

Omdog, he is up there isn't he???

Well, you can IMAGINE how this ended. Thank Dog I have parties to go to this weekend with Sophie and a party at Bob T. Bear's house.

I am outta here!!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Introducing Fairbanks, my Dad's first dog...

Nice Aunt Patty brought us some great photos when she came over to see us last week. They are photos of Dad's very first dog, a Samoyed Husky named Fairbanks. You guys have seen Lobo before, who I lived with for a few years when I first rescued Dad, but you haven't met Fairbanks.

I thought it would be nice to show off some photos of him, I hope you all don't mind seeing him instead of me.

Look at that guy, he was one big ball of white fluffy goodness.

Talk about handsome!!!

BUT you want to know what indignity fell upon him when it got super duper desert hot like WOAH out here...

omdog they shaved him down to nothing!!!! He still looks cute tho, just not quite right.

He fell victim to a couple of bad haircuts apparently.

But he always had lots of love, look at my Dad with that ORANGE hair LOLOL!!

Dad sure loved him!

So did my uncle, Dad's little brother.

And my Grandpa.

and my Great Grandpa, sheesh Fairbanks was a lover for sure!!

I sure wish I knew Fairbanks, I owe him for being such a pawesome dog and teaching my Dad all about loving dogs.

Mostly I owe him for training Dad that feeding from the table is OK!

I sure hope you liked meeting the dog that changed it all for my Dad and made him a dog lover!!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Tanner SO cool Day!!!

Whatssssuupppppppppp?!?!?!?! Dad is like still sick and I am making sure he is EATING and um, staying warm. BUT He did go to that Baseball game to see the CUBS who is Petra's Favorite team EVER.

Well, they may not be MY favorite team, but they have my favorite FAN in the world...

This guy is called Ronnie "Woo Woo" Wickers. He has to be part Sibe if that is what he says all the time. Omdog he runs around Yelling and Dancing and having a GREAT time!! I so want to do that TOO!!

He will yell like that for an ENTIRE inning, he is amazing!! Tanner Woo! Yelling WOO! WTF WOO!!! oh man he is SO TOTALLY COOL!!!

Speaking of cool, remember my totally awesome smart dot that I grew on my face and my MOM and DAD were like THANK DOG it is gone. Well guess what...


I am so stoked to have another Smart Dot back! SmartDot Woo! Tanner Woo! Tuesday Woo!!!!!!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Taking Care of Dad

Yesterday we took good care of Dad, who is still not feeling well, but is going to TOUGH IT OUT and go to a Spring Training game today. TOUGH LIFE Dad. I have to stay home with the Doofus.

Yesterday we were very attentive to Dad, making sure he had everything he needed.

WHAT MOM?? Oh, she said stop begging from Dad he was not sharing his food.

Begging? No way, we were umm just asking if he needs more tissues...

How is Mom always figuring out what we are doing, she must have this place rigged with cameras or something.

And for all of you worrying that Dad won't get proper snuggles, don't worry Tanner is all about the hugs.

Here is a video of him getting love from Dad while he tries to clean up some crumbs on Dad's shirt.

Stay tuned tomorrow when Tanner reveals something new he has been working on...

Sunday, March 22, 2009

You can't touch this!

So a lot of dogs agree that they do not like to be picked up and some of the bigger dogs wish that they could be held. Not me, I just hate being grabbed, hugged, snuggled, kissed etc. UNLESS I decide that you may pet me, I wish to be left alone. My super adorable girlfriend Sophie is the same way, that is why we are so perfect for each other.

Here I am just laying in bed, thinking about Sophie, when all of the sudden EVIL HANDS OF SNUGGLING DOOM reach in...

Did you see I even FELL OVER just to get away. I need a do not disturb sign for my LIFE.

In case you missed the Doofus Face, here he is in the Snuggle Ball...

He has his stink all over that thing now, so I very rarely go in it. Well, Dad is sick so I am going to go lay in bed near him and maybe fart a little to help clear up his sinuses. Have a great Sunday!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

I do not like being picked up...

Since Tanner shared some of his tricks, I thought I would share one of mine. If Dad or Mom tries to pick me up I play dead and roll into the most inconvenient position so that they cannot do it. I hate being picked up. After I perform my trick Tanner gets jealous and tries to steal the show by fighting me. BUZZ OFF DOOFUS.

Enjoy the video and have a GREAT Saturday!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Tanner got LUCKY

So you all saw what Tanner did and Mom was NOT happy. Well she had to hurry to clean up because we were having very special guests. I helped clean too and Tanner seemed appreciative...

Although, a kiss from Tanner does not seem like sufficient payment to me.

ANYWAY, on to our VERY important guests...

OMdog, you know who that is?? Nice Aunt Patty!? The woman who rescued Tanner from the shelter in Ohio, fostered him for months, then drove him across the country to Arizona!! I always get that little bit of hope that she will take Tanner BACK to Ohio when she leaves, but at least she didn't bring ANOTHER dog with her!! She was very happy to see Tanner. That is our Great Gram and Gramps sitting at the table, they are the best!!

Gramps gives great scratches, I love hanging out with him. Tanner was so excited to see Aunt Patty that he had to take a little nap. It was a great visit and we were very excited to see her. Tanner is hoping after this visit Mom just forgets about the blue paint and remembers how lucky she is to have him and the hard work it took to get him. WHATEVER!

Thursday, March 19, 2009


As if I don't have enough stress getting ready for this movie, it turns out Tanner has totally RUINED the premiere!!! Of course, Lacie was involved in this, I should have known.

While we were slaving away at Begadoon, Tanner has been making his own film...

Check out the drama at Petey's blog.

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I mean, look at that Doofus?! And then look what happened when he got home...

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Oh man MOM IS NOT AMUSED!!!! He managed to rub up against EVERYTHING except me!

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The Doofus better have that second blender that Lacie cannot find because Mom is going to need a super strong blender drink after this!!!