Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Wednesday, April 28, 2010


WHATSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!?!?!?! Guys, I am SO totally feeling better and I know it was because of all of those healing vibes you guys sended me! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!

BUT Mom seems to think it is because she found me carrying part of a DEAD BIRD in the yard and she freaked out and I spit it out, but it was only the wing part and she couldn't find the rest of it! So guess what she thinks, she thinks I ATE THE DEAD BIRD.

CRAP Joe, should I plead that fifth???? OMDOG.

While I think about how I should answer this accusational I will help Mom pack...

That sure is a LOT of stuff. My Toys are in there somewhere!!!! We get those keys to the new house Saturday so we will start putting this stuff in the new house then the mover guys with the BIG truck come and take all the rest of it! We are soooo excited.

Tan Torkelson maybe the dog who ate a dead bird but maybe not...OUT!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

A friend in need...

The Doofus has had the runs for a couple of days and he NEVER has the Dire Rears. We would ask for some healing vibes as Mom is about ready to tear out her hair with this moving stuff and now she is worried about the Doofus.

I mean, look at the guy, he is a WRECK. Oh, and this was before he was even sick. LOL. We don't call him the Doofus for nothing.

One more week and the moving BEGINS!!

I am stretching and getting ready to go!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

We ARE still alive...

GUYS we are still alive and still packing. This is how I feel about it...

I have to be sure Mom at least leaves some of our toys out so we don't get totally bored...

Even Tanner is getting paranoid!

To keep me from going completely over the edge, Mom bought us some new treats from my favorite store Trader Joes. I mean, they named the place after me, of course I love it.

Take a look at the treat bag...


Wait, that is not my Sophie?! What is this fake Sophie business?? Mom assures me there can be more than one pretty dog named Sophie.

I say, NO WAY.

But I will still eat the treats.

We can't wait to get back to regularly scheduled blogging, we miss you guys so much. Please let me know if there is any dog we need to be sending healing vibes to or of any other news.

Sunday, April 11, 2010


The other day I was sooo sad about the packing and the moving and all the MESS in my house. Then Mom said, look at this thing we found on the porch...

It says some crap in French. FRENCH? It has to be from SOPHIE!!

OMDOG. I passed out for a minute after I saw this.

Look at this card. She really has the best taste. I won't show you the inside of the card as it is VERY private and VERY pawesome.

Look at all this stuff she sent...

A Cuz doggy

This cool um something. I dunno what he is, but it is cute!

This pawesome ball, Mom said she is going to wait to give me that til after we move so I have something to distract me.

And look, its a TANNER! LOLOL. It is a Nylabone Hippo!

And a Nylabone Lamb!

Tanner got the Lamb.

It sort of made him go NUTS.

I got the Tanner hippo and ripped the tag off.

I bit it on the butt too, just like I would like to do to Tanner!

I introduced him to the otter we haven't managed to kill too!

THANK YOU SOPHIE!!!! This really made me feel better when I needed it.


Thursday, April 08, 2010

Dude I am getting a Dell??

Dude, am I getting a Dell???

So all these Dell boxes showed up at my house. I was like, Dude, am I getting a Dell???? Mom said NO we are moving.

MOVING?! Mom said we are going to a newer house closer to my Gram and Gramp's house! Well, that sounds pretty darn cool to me!! What really sucks is all this PACKING and MOVING crap around. It makes me VERY angry. When I am angry, I poop on the floor. So Mom and Dad are kinda mad at me because I have done it like 15 times in the last couple of weeks. My name is Joe Stains, what do these people want?!

So if we are not around a lot in the next couple of weeks it is because the humans are either packing or cleaning up poop.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Tanner Tuesday: EASTER edition!!

guys, it is TAN TORKELSON reporting on EASTER.

I think this is the ONLY picture of one Joe Stains because he is SO GRUMPY and does not like my human cousins. He gave them one kiss then ran off and was with the food the WHOLE TIME.

The little puppy cousin was sleepings so we had to be SO QUIET.

So the bigger human cousin and I did some BUBBLES. OMG they are SO FUN.

Then the littlerest one woke up and was all I HAVE SOME JUICE. I said ok, can I have some juice???

Dad said NO TANNER you cannot have some juice.

So I said ok and ditched them and went back to playing with my BFF.

We found some of those easter egg things and they were filled with JELLY BEANS. OMDOG and then she dropped like 9638 of them throughout the day.


Yep, Tan Torkelson Jelly Bean MASTER. That puppy cousin can keep her stinkin juice, these things RULE!

Tan Torkelson BFF to human cousins OUT

Sunday, April 04, 2010


Tanner wanted to eat that bunny.  It sang and  moved around.

HAPPY EASTER!! Don't eat the Easter Bunny...

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Joe knows weather...

Since Tanner insisted on posting pics where his blubber kept him nice and warm, I thought I would show you the really GOOD things about the weekend up north.

When we found out we were going I was very excited.

When we got there the fire got started and I was joyous!

Tanner was happy with his stupid corn too.

But then the sun went down...and it got LESS THAN 30 DEGREES cold!!

Thank dog for down comforters! My gram knows I need them to survive this extreme weather.

Even little lardbutt had to have a sweatshirt. And that is a sweatshirt MY SOPHIE got me and I even let him wear it. I am SO nice.

During the day it was kinda warm, so I could go on guard duty...

Gramps makes a perfect perch. It was his birthday this weekend so I didn't even fart on him.

As it got warmer I was so generous I even let Tanner rest his foot on me.

But then it got to be night again...

And I began to worry I would freeze to death...

Tanner just wanted to be pet and to watch the Eagles DVD.

Dad assured me I would NOT freeze, we had a big fire and lots of down comforters.

So I survived, but BARELY!