Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Tanner Reporting on WEEKEND TRIP 2010

OK so we went to that north part of Arizona and we saw lots of cool stuff and had some snacks and Joey WHINED the WHOLE TIME about being cold.

Here we are on that SNOW stuff, which I totally saw when I was in Ohio and there is NOTHING wrong with it.

As you can see HERE you can even make it turn YELLOW! COOL!

Joe said THIS STUFF IS THE WORST. and he said he was SO FREEZING.

BUT if it was SO FREEZING...

Why is that DAD guy wearing SHORTS and just one tshirt?! OMDOG it was not even that COLD only at night and we didn't even go outside then.


I ditched him to cry cry and played some serious Phase 10 cards with my Dad...

Joey can talk more about his SUFFERINGNESS later!

Tan Torkelson Card Shark OUT

Monday, March 29, 2010

We are BACK

So Mom decided we should go away for the weekend and relax...

DO I LOOK RELAXED?! THAT IS SNOW!!!!!! That is the first time I have seen snow EVER and I HATED it.

Tanner will update more tomorrow about our adventures in Northern AZ and Mom's attempts to kill me with coldness.

All I can say is I am glad to be back in the desert!

Thursday, March 25, 2010


We will be back to regularly scheduled posts and commenting on Monday. Everything is FINE, Mom just needs some time to not blog so her brain does not explode.

Until we are back here are some pics of some of my better qualities...

Handsome AND Talented...

Deep thinker...

Joey is always on the lookout

domination station

and another great thing about me...

arrested for being too cute
I AM NOT A DOOFUS. Look at that guy!?

Ok, see you all Monday!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The CAT has got my tongue!!

OMDOG guys it is Tanner Tuesday but its really like CATTER CUESDAY because some CAT keeps coming to my DOOR.

The other night I was like this...

Just relaxing and doing some cool DOGA poses on the couch, when Mom looked out that front door and saw sitting RIGHT ON MY DOOR MAT a CAT!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS CAT!? The one that tried to come to Joey Palooza in his crazy old Volkswagen!!

I am going to call him FRITZ cuz he must be German to drive a Volkswagen!! As soon as I got up to see him, he RAN AWAY!

COME BACK FRitz, I want you to make me some cat snacks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tan Torkelson, FRIEND TO CATS, out!

Monday, March 22, 2010

She won't give up...

Mom is STILL trying to get a Spring picture of us...isn't there some quote about the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results??

Well this time she got Dad in on the act and made him CARRY me over and sit me next to the Doofus...

He might be big enough to carry me, but he can't make me look at the camera.

I REFUSE TO LOOK. Come on Tanner...make this face...

AH HA! Good job Tanner, that is one class A Doofus face!!

And once again, the cheese stands alone...

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Spring Ding a Ling

Mom had some great idea about a 'Spring Photo Shoot'. I said no way. I learned from the best over at the Army of Four how NOT to cooperate with these silly notions.

I wouldn't even get off the patio for her nonsense. I mean, look at this bunny froo froo bandana she put on me. eesh.

But of course the doofus was ready and willing to cooperate. We have lots of green grass because it has rained so much this year in the desert.

I do commend Tanner for not totally giving in and posing nicely. Notice the clump of grass in his mouth and the doofus face he is making.

He was looking for me to join him but I stayed firmly planted on the patio even though Mom called me repeatedly.

Mom thinks he is soooo cute...

Whatever, at least he got me off the hook and kept the flashy beast out of my face for once.

I hope you all are getting some sun to soak up!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Puttin on the Ritz...

Guys, have you ever heard of these buttery delicious discs called RITZ CRACKERS?!

My Dad bought some and they are the BEST THING EVER...

They turn us into begging zombie dogs...


If you have never had these things MAKE YOUR HUMANS FETCH SOME right now!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Tanner Exerciser

Tanner the Hutt
So I was sitting around the other day and Joey was like, TANNER YOU ARE FAT. aarggghh, STOP SAYING THAT!!

I just sit funny, THAT IS all!!!

SO I thought I should do some exercise. Dad does that exercise by going on a skateboard and wheeling around.

Tanner is not sure about this Immortal skateboard deck
Here is a skateboard, but it has no wheels and has some FREAKY looking metal guys on it. They have painted their faces to look like BOSTON TERRIERERST!! What a bunch of POSERS. LOLOLOL


So until I find some wheels for that thing, I will just make sure Mom takes my pictures from THIS angle...

Tan Torkelson, LOOKING THIN from this angle is OUT

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Slowly Sunday

We are SLOWLY making it around to every dog's blog this weekend. Sorry we are such slackers!!

I have been trying to soak up some sunshine, as its chilly overnight here in AZ. I put this camo shirt on so I might blend in and Mom won't take my picture 300 times.

Am I invisible?? Maybe Tanner won't find me either.

I am blending right in!!

The Doofus can't even see me!!

Uh Oh...

I hear him, I think he found me...stupid camo is useless...


Now that I have been found can I have some lunch please???

I hope you are all enjoying your weekend!

Thursday, March 11, 2010


Mom said her brain hurts a lot because work has been kind of crazy so she said all I can post today are old pictures.

Well, I guess that is ok since any picture of me is a good one...

day pool
Here is a pic of Sophie and I on a date...

Here is me and Sophie on another date...

Here is me (and the doofus) with a dog that looks like Sophie...

Finally, this is me meeting one of the only things I have ever seen that is as cute as Sophie...

Joey meets the puppy

We might get around to visiting your blogs again some day!

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Joey Palooza is OVER!

WHATSSSSSSSSSUUUPPPPPPPPPPPP!?!? It is Tan Torkelson here and thank DOG today is the last day of the Joey Palooza, I am TIRED. We have been doing lots of that partying stuff.

I caught JOEY a squirrel for his birthday.

I am trying to wrestle it into submissioning here and Joey is NOT EVEN HELPING.

WAHAA!?! OMDOG he is tough. Eventually he sploded and Mom put him in that trash.


Speaking of POOP, JOey made a BIG ONE in front of the TV while Mom and Dad were at Baseball. I guess he was MAD that they got to go see those players and he didn't.

Finally here is a movie of the Chicago Cubs dancing to some Eddie Money...

Monday, March 08, 2010

Yesterday's Palooza...

Well yesterday did not include pizza...

But there were Tacos...well, what my Dad calls Tacos anyway. LOOK AT HOW GLORIOUS. I mean, the man knows how to celebrate a Palooza for sure.

I also had a rainbow brought in, just because I can, I am 11 now you know.

Mom got in on the fun by having some delicious cold roast beef sliders. I am telling you, we know how to party over here.

But then someone decided to crash Joey Palooza...

Do you see him Tanner?????

WFT?! Who invited the Scirocco driving Mean Kitty!? I sure didn't!!! Luckily Mom did not let him in the house.

Finally we wrapped up the day watching the Oscars. My pal Doyle showed me how the Oscars changed this year to honor ME in my 11th year...only 2 more days of PALOOZA guys!

Oh ya, I'd like to thank the Academy for recognizing that I am the BEST!!!