Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Tuesday, January 16, 2007


So Aunt Patty suggested I give Tanner some tips on the ladies since Lillie has a crush on him. So I decided tonight we would have our first lesson.

Picture 152
I don't have a Lillie doll, so I decided Mom's Coke bear would have to work. So the first thing you want to do is light a fire and some candles. You know, set the mood.

Then you offer her a nice drink, the best spring water in the house. But don't be too pushy, give her some time to relax.

Then if things seem to be going well, you can move in for a little kiss. Then...

dog porn
IT IS ON!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait, Mom said this is not proper etiquette...

Picture 158
Uh oh, too late, the Doofus has made his move. Good luck to mom on getting her bear back!!

28 Stains:

Blogger Daisy the Boston Terrier said...

Wow Joey, you sure know how to show a lady a good time. I need to ask my mom how far Arizona is from us.

6:07 PM  
Blogger Sunshade said...

Hmmmm....... I'm not sure if Lillie is all for that... BUT I AM!! Um... wait, ok, mum's watching...

Love nibbles,
Miss Sunshade

7:30 PM  
Blogger Fu Fu said...

Haaa. Joey that's so funny. So did that coke bear had a good time from the "date"?

~ fufu

7:34 PM  
Blogger Boo Casanova said...

ah, look at doofus when he is "loving" the coke bear! his eyes are almost popping out! oh, he is so "loving" the bear!

wet wet licks


8:12 PM  
Blogger Buster the Wired Fox Terror said...

Date night!

Bussie Kissies

8:18 PM  
Blogger Gus said...

Joey: Here is your chance to be a hero. Rescue your Mom's bear from the evil clutches of Tanner. I bet it'll get you a treat

8:41 PM  
Blogger T-man Angel said...

That Doofus knows how to keep the date moving along. I think he'll do just fine (hee hee!)

8:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAHAHA doofus has got himself another girlfriend - sunshade!!! looks like your lesson is working, joey :)


9:11 PM  
Blogger Toby said...

Woah, Tanner sure moves fast!! He went from drinks straight to the kiss?? What happened to a little paw holding and cuddling?? I guess I'm a tad old fashioned....hehehe.


9:29 PM  
Blogger Isabella said...

And things were going so well while he followed your instructions- till he went off and dragged her off the couch and wallowed her around on the floor! Tsk Tsk! The boy has no style. Shame on him man-handling her that way.
Big Wags,

11:22 PM  
Blogger MJ's doghouse said...


1:07 AM  
Blogger Simba and Jazzi said...

oh no not the bear!!! Fast movers in your house, must make notes.

Simba xx

1:41 AM  
Blogger Oscar's mummy and daddy said...

And it was all going so well! I think you need to work harder on Doofus' training Joey. I hope Coke Bear wasn't too traumatised.

Oscar x

2:01 AM  
Blogger Herbie said...

It's not appropriate coz you're doing it the wrong way, not the head, silly!

2:31 AM  
Blogger Duke said...

I think you guys move wayyyy to fast! Cokey would have liked to be wined and dined first - trust me! Slow down!


3:45 AM  
Blogger wally said...

whew! i feel like i need a smoke after reading that entry.


5:34 AM  
Blogger Girasol said...

you are fast!
are you dating?

5:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dunno if Lillie would want to be mauled that way ... best go back to the classroom and give Doofus a bit more polish!

7:56 AM  
Blogger e said...

You guys rock!

9:10 AM  
Blogger Myeo said...

Slick Move... No wonder i find you sop attractive. Good that you are willing to teach Tanner.


9:46 AM  
Blogger Deanna said...

OMG! You are bad!

1:52 PM  
Blogger Murphey said...

Thanks for the lesson, but my lady made me hide my eyes after the water shot, I wonder why?!

Murph the Dog

2:01 PM  
Blogger The Leskiw Gang said...

Joey, I was barking so hard Mom had to come see what all the fuss was about and she saw your blog. Now we are both hysterical. Doofus needs lots of work on his Moves. And Toby is right Add some romance and she will be more receptive to being thrown on the floor.Hee Hee
Paws & Kisses
Maggie Rose

4:56 PM  
Blogger Lillie Valentine said...

Hey Joey:
Thanks for trying to help Tanner learn how to treat a lady. I liked the fire and the candles, but I was thinking more in the line of a movie and a nice dinner for our first date?
Hugs & Kisses,

6:09 PM  
Blogger The Airechicks said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

7:34 PM  
Blogger The Airechicks said...

Hey Joey

7:34 PM  
Blogger Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

You are one cool mover Joe!

4:22 AM  
Blogger Scrappy and Pebbles said...

Thanks for the pictorial just what us first timers need to know.

Tail wags

6:16 AM  

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