Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

doofus recovery

I hope you all recovered from Doofus Day, I enjoy my day of rest. I can't believe he just lets Mom dress him up in all those stupid clothes and just goes about his business like he doesn't look like a complete DORK. I would also like to point something out.

TANNER IS FAT!


I don't have a tape measure or a ruler but I estimate him to be about 17 inches across. He is huge!!

This leads me to an award that we have been presented by The Army of Four and our boston friend Ruby. They have awarded Me this award:


BUT they said TANNER TOO?! WHAT? Since when have you seen a FAT rocker? I sure can't think of any awesome FAT rockers? Can you?? (don't say Elvis because he died from being a fat guy!)

hm.

Well thank you guys for the award for ME but I think you should reconsider for Fat Tanner??

One of my favorite rock bands is THIN (not fat) Lizzy and they wrote a song that I think totally describes me:

"I am your main man if you're looking for trouble
I'll take no lip 'cause no ones tougher than me
If I kicked your face you'd soon be seeing double
Hey little girl, keep your hands off me 'cause I'm a rocker"

40 Stains:

Blogger wally said...

Rock on, Joe!

I have to admit I didn't watch the All-Star game in part because we are early birds and like to go to bed in the middle of the afternoon. But if I'd known there were boo-dogs involved...

Tanner could never run the bases like an Itchy-Ro with that chub. I bet you could, though!

wally

my ma ape just told me "let he who is without chub count the first weight watchers points." I have no idea what she's on about.

4:25 PM  
Blogger Boomer and his mom Carol said...

Joey,

I don't think Tanner is fat so much - he's just big boned, don't you think?

4:44 PM  
Blogger Holly said...

Maybe you should suggest the green bean diet for Tanner? That's what I have to eat to help with my weight!

Holly

4:53 PM  
Blogger Dory and Liza said...

Well Joe - even Elvis had his fat clothes, so rockers can be hefty in all fairness to Tanner.

My human read me a quote you may want to use with your mom -

"If your human asks you to wear a sweater - ask them to wear a tail"

It gave us a giggle.

Have a great rest of the week-

Love, Dory

5:15 PM  
Blogger The Airechicks said...

Rock on Joey -

Drums do you play or are you the lead singer ??

Tanner may just be full of love so maybe he lets Mom dress him up to show her that he loves her....

Fat - Fat do they do gastric bypass on Boston Terriers ??

5:27 PM  
Blogger Girl Girl Hamster said...

Joey, how much fatter is Tanner compared to you???
You're totally a rockin dog blogger

~ girl girl

6:09 PM  
Blogger Maggie said...

Hi!! It is nice to meet you too Joe!! My mom said that my older dachshund sister (she lives with my mom's mom and dad) is huge too! I guess that just means there is more to love! :)

6:20 PM  
Blogger Boo said...

joey, you are your daddy's boy. rock on joey!

btw, you should give this post a title like "tanner/doofus is fat!" so whenever someone google search, it will come to here straight!

wet wet licks

Boo

6:21 PM  
Blogger Ruby Bleu said...

Joe you are too much!!! Let's see, fat rocker...how about that guy from Blues Traveler...oh wait, he's not fat anymore. Hmmm....I don't know...

I'll have to keep thinking...but you should let Tanner get the award too if for no other reason than he's a little 'off his rocker!!! hee, hee, hee

Lots of Licks, Ruby

6:26 PM  
Blogger Peanut said...

You Rock Joe. Mom says she is pretty sure Tanner isn't 17 inches across but I don't know I beleive you.

6:30 PM  
Blogger Super Boy & Baby-Licious said...

we think and think and you are right Joey. There is no fat rocker around at least anymore. Could Tanner be the exception, the only living fat rocker.. then he is special.

Love
Boy n Baby

6:40 PM  
Blogger Gus said...

Hey Joey: We gots a Fender Strat at our house. Wanna Jam?

7:25 PM  
Blogger T-man said...

Tanner is kind of wide. I didn't notice that before. You look like a rocking boston in that last pic. Do you do vocals??

7:25 PM  
Blogger Zach said...

MEATLOAF ... is he a rocker? YES, he is .. a FAT one!! But I don't care because I LOOOOVE his name!!!

7:37 PM  
Blogger Ike said...

Don't worry Tanner - Meatloaf was a fatty too and he's a rocker ... kind of, I guess.
Ike

7:52 PM  
Blogger vix said...

OMG I had to pull out my measuring tape to see how fat Doofus Face was and I just about peed my pants laughing. SEVENTEEN INCHES! I'm glad you explained how that refers to his girth and not something else because I was like "What? Is Joey complimenting Tanner?! What's going on here?!?!"

7:58 PM  
Blogger chester.hi-flyer said...

oh wow!!!! your people are rockers?!

so are mine! i get to listen to dreamtheater, steve vai, deep purple, skid row when i'm in the car with them!!!

you rock, joey!!! :)

p.s. tanner looks like he seriously needs to lose some weight!!!!

8:50 PM  
Anonymous chiyo said...

freaky. 17 inches! that's almost as long (or short) as Boo's legs.

love..
chiyo

10:24 PM  
Blogger Ben_Benjamin said...

Rocker Joey!! Lets rock & "roll" tanner on the floor....I believe this rolling thingy can slim him down...keep on rocking & rolling !!!

10:50 PM  
Blogger Oscar Airedale said...

Are you sure he's 17"?!

I love the rocker photo, you're so cool Joe

Licks
Oscar x

12:52 AM  
Blogger Maggie said...

Tanner is sitting in this photo right? Mom says everybody's fat bunches up in the middle when they sit! Next time have him lay on his back in this shirt and we'll be calling him Slim Jim!

Love ya lots,
Maggie

2:29 AM  
Blogger Simba said...

the shirt does look a bit snug.
Simba xx

3:02 AM  
Blogger Luckie Girl said...

Hey Joey,
Oh wow..you rock big time! And anywoo, round is a SHAPE so perhaps Doofus isn't that bad afterall. He is in shape too ya know?

4:22 AM  
Blogger Ferndoggle said...

It's big boned Joe...big boned. You're gonna give poor Tanner a complex.

You are a total rock star dude!

Sherman

5:46 AM  
Blogger umekotyan said...

Tanner should put on a diet.
And, he is exactly rockin guy. :)

from loved ume tyan

6:21 AM  
Blogger Jessie and Jake said...

Wow you are one talented doggie!

Poor Tanner may need to go for more walkies to lose that spare tire :-)

6:41 AM  
Blogger Amber-Mae said...

Oh yes, Tanner is fat! He needs to lose some pounds... Like me too! Kekekeke!

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

6:57 AM  
Anonymous fig said...

There is NOTHING wrong with a hefty Boston, Joe.

7:33 AM  
Blogger Nanook and Pooka the Newfoundlands said...

Arrrrrooooo! I can totally dig that song!

Joe - come visit our blog we are having a contest!

http://nanookthenewfy.blogspot.com/2007/07/contest.html

8:00 AM  
Blogger Tadpole said...

Oh, just let him share the award, Joey. He has enough trouble trying to control his weight, don't you think? ;-)

8:55 AM  
Blogger kassi the doxie said...

hey joe rock on! you look pretty sweet next to that amp. nice ax too -- what is that a squire? jk. tanner could make a sa-weet bassist with all that pudge, he'll never fit into the rock star skinny pants.

paws,
kassi

10:03 AM  
Blogger Frasypoo said...

Hi Joey,
Mommy was reading your blog from the time you started blogging and she is so into it!!She said it was funny too.She also said dont change....she loves you guys!!
She even got my daddy to watch the video where you guys whine for the fries !!
Now I may need to watch my back I may get a Doofus brother!
frasier

11:19 AM  
Blogger PerfectTosca said...

Hey Joe, he's not fat he's big boned! I mean what's life without a little meat on your bones anyways! But if a diet is in order, I can drop by and pick up all the treats and keep them with me for...ah...safekeeping...ya know???

1:11 PM  
Blogger MJ's doghouse said...

ehy joey...tanner is not over weight ..he is just under tall...leave him alone...i think you are both rockin doods...didnt you see vince neil when he was on that cheesy reality show...he was showing the chunk and he is a rocker....and what a bout meatloaf...hahah mama thinks meatloaf can rock...it is dinner ...

2:51 PM  
Blogger Asta said...

Oh Joey,
you can spare a little of your rock 'nRoll glam with Tanner,,evewy band needs a Doofus
and um ,I think you were weading that measuwing tape wong..no way can he be 17in.wide...that way if you went all awound him he'd be like34 ow mowe in.awound..that's like hoooge
smoochie kisses
Asta

3:11 PM  
Blogger Buster the Wired Fox Terror said...

Ho Joey! MR Rock!

Bussie Kissies
Buster

4:32 PM  
Blogger Isabella said...

Hmmmm.... fat rocker? Well, there is Meatloaf- he's pretty heafty.
Fat or skinny, Doofus will never be as kewl as you!
Big Wags,
Isabella

5:27 PM  
Blogger Reina the Doxie said...

Hi Joey
You well live up to the Rocking Dog Blogger title!!!

ROCK ON DUDE!!

Love,
Reina

5:39 PM  
Blogger Huskee Boy said...

Rock on, Rocker Joey!
Hehehe... that's not a very flattering photo of Tanner... hope he won't get mad at you for showing it.

6:05 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...

Joe,

You definitely look a little *excited* about being a rocker! I'd like to see you pick up that guitar & show us what you've got!

As for fat rockers, Meat Loaf immediately came to mind. Also, Jerry Garcia was a pudgeboy rockin' dude (although he did lose a little weight with the loss of that one finger).

Goob love,
STanley

4:20 AM  

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