Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Tanner is trying to kill me!

I am now 100% convinced Tanner is trying to either kill me by never letting me get any rest or by shanking me with that stupid slimy disgusting corn shank!!!

He got it all nice and sharpened and then look at this...

He jammed it right into my side!

And look at all the corn bits and slobber he left all over me! I need a vacation!

35 Stains:

Blogger Gus said...

Joey! Tell your mom you need to come stay here this week and help with planning for the sooooper bowl!


9:30 AM  
Blogger The Airechicks said...


When do you and Tad start your road trip for the election maybe
Mom can stay home with Tanner and you and your boys can jump the bus......

That was DISGUSTING ..but Tanner does look like he's enjoying himself.....


10:56 AM  
Blogger Moco said...

Don't go in the shower or out to the exercise yard with him. The shanking always happens in one of those spots. Sometimes in the lunch line, but I think he would be to absorbed in getting to eat to hurt you there.

11:03 AM  
Blogger Lillie Valentine said...

Why are you trying to hurt your brother? He is your friend. That is what MY mom says when she sees me picking on Mr. Whiskers....

12:06 PM  
Blogger Molly the Airedale said...

OMG, what a slob! How do you stand him?! You can come here for a vacation anytime you want to Joey!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

1:35 PM  
Blogger Emma the Golden Girl said...

and the Canine Kids said,
Hey Joe, come visit us any time if you need a vacation. We'd love to have you and we can promise you peace and quiet and relaxation.
Poor thing. We don't think Tanner is really trying to hurt you though. He's just messing with you.

4:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My brother has a corn shank too. I understand how gross it is. Sometimes I try to take it away but Mommy always breaks up the fight and takes the shank away.

Clyde the Boston Terrier

5:01 PM  
Blogger Poppy said...

Wow, you are totally right, Joe. He is a crazy guy. But why don't you just shank him right back?


7:20 PM  
Blogger Toby said...

Joey, does your brain hurt? Cuz mine would if I had to listen to that corn gnawing all night!! I feel for yah man!


8:08 PM  
Blogger MJ's doghouse said...

wow joe...i think next time tanner sleeps you should hide that shank...i mean corn thingy...maybe trade it for a stuffed corn or something...i doubt the doof willknow the diff

8:34 PM  
Blogger ODIES said...

eek! eek! eek! psycho! :P just joking but i would get a lock and lock him out of the room!


8:54 PM  
Blogger Lorenza said...

Hi, Joe!
Sure Tanner is working hard creating a new weapon!! And taking you with him in the intent!
Shake yourself all those bits and go to sleep in your sleeping bag!
Kisses and hugs

10:15 PM  
Blogger T-man Angel said...

Ick, that's as bad as having CC-man drop crumbs and poop on my back!

10:19 PM  
Blogger powder-puff said...


My sympathies go out to you, for having to live with that!

That corn was ......VERY slobbery, but tanner seems to find joy in it!!

Lots of love!

peace out

10:45 PM  
Blogger Jackson's J1 and J2 said...

Hey Joe, my advice is don't turn your back on him, he clearly means business with that corn shank. I think you need some protection. My rates as a bodyguard are quite reasonable! J x

1:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my dog Joe I think you need to employ a bodyguard pronto!!


3:42 AM  
Blogger Amber-Mae said...

OMdoG, I couldn't stop laughing watching Tanner chewing his corn cob like that. He sure was soooo engrossed with it! Joey, you look really annoyed & pissed lying down beside him. Why didn't you kick him off the bed or at least moved somewhere else? Hehehe...

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

6:47 AM  
Blogger Urban Smoothie Read said...

poor joe... tanner had been too much..

u definately need some time off.... will u consider coming over to malaysia for a vacation?

8:27 AM  
Blogger Ruby Bleu said...

and probably a bath too!!! and I know you don't like baths!!!

Lots of Licks, Ruby

9:54 AM  
Blogger Agatha and Archie said...

OK so at the Super Bowl Party we pu Archie and Tanner together and they can both chew on their gross corn cobs and sweet potato things together and slime each other up rather than us.I truly feel your pain.Love Agatha (and Archie who is STILL trying to figure out how to unblock HBO)

9:55 AM  
Blogger Emily and Ike said...

What are you going to do to protect yourself?

9:58 AM  
Blogger Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

oh my dog, the demon corn shucker strikes again.......

this blog is like a Stephen King novel, all over............

Nightmare in Joe and Doofus Street starring Joe (the victim) and The Tanner The Corn Shucker..........woooooooo!

I am now hiding under my blankie!

Yikes that Dude Doofus is scary....

love and frightened licks, Marvinxxxxx

pee ess My Jeannie says to tell your Dad she is glad he likes the Highland Park, there is plenty more here where that comes from!

10:27 AM  
Blogger Comet said...

We think you only have to be afraid of the corn shank if Tanner chases after you with it while he is doing that freaky snoring eye rolling thing. That would be scary! Otherwise, it is just annoying.
Comet and BLU

11:47 AM  
Blogger Asta said...

That sound would dwive me totally cwazy do need a vacation..I think Moco's advice is vewy good watch youw back Joey
smoochie kisses

11:50 AM  
Blogger Jen and Suki said...

I think in prison law it's something like a shank for a shank. Are you not into corn? I need to get my paws on some of that corn stuff. My parents can't find any - where did your mom find yours?

Watch your back!

12:37 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Joey! Attempted murder by slobber!!!!



1:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You need to be Vice President, then you could put an official stop to all his madness.

And Moco's right - stay away from the showers and the exercise yard with him... I know; I have prison experience. Working there, not an incarceration.

2:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it was exceptionally brave of you to stand your ground and refuse to move. You don't want to show any weakness where these psychotic corn-shankers are concerned.

Pee S: I have hidden our corn so that IT can't sharpen the shank any more than he already has....

2:30 PM  
Blogger Asta said...

Come stay with me I'll pwotet you
smoochie kisses,Asta

4:52 PM  
Blogger Girl Girl Hamster said...

I can't believe Tanner jab you with that corn shank... that's scary....

~ Girl girl

9:38 PM  
Blogger Lady Kaos said...

HOLY DOGNESS!! Look at the point on that thing!! Watch out Joe! We wouldn't want the future vp to be killed before he can take office!! The secret service should probably be warned about the doofus!

3:52 PM  
Blogger Gudrun said...

Hey there Joe!

Ew, that looks gross what Tanner did to you. You not only need a vacay but looks like you could also use a tissue.

Nubbin wags,

5:45 PM  
Blogger Snowball said...

oh no... Tanner is making another weapon. Good luck to you, Joey.


10:35 PM  
Blogger Deanna said...

Poor Joey! Darn that doofus!

10:36 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...


Maybe the Doofus could go into business designing shanks for the prison population of your fine state... and LEAVE YOU ALONE!

Whoa! I love the Doof, but there's only so much a big brother should have to put up with.

Personally, I think you should steer him from his life of crime. You know... kind of a "scared straight" campaign or something.

Goober love,

8:10 AM  

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