Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Monday, October 01, 2007

post steelers loss stress syndrome

Ya know yesterday was a pretty bad day for me, but then I was reading blogs today and I saw that our dearly departed Oscar's Mom and Dad got themselves a new dog named Harry. This made me real happy. Then I started reading all the comments from my friends trying to cheer me up and I saw that Asta made a comment asking me to look at her blog. She said we should put up a song to welcome our new friend Harry to the dogs with blogs. Well after all the nice support you dogs gave me when I was down I decided to dedicate this to Harry and to ALL my friends on Dogs with Blogs. You always have a friend in me!!

Lots of dogs have been doing interviews and I was excited for my man Ike to interview me so here it is:

1. What is the best stain you've ever made? Did it resemble any celebrities and/or religious figures?

This is a tough one, I have had many opportunities to stain in my life but I think my favorite was a fabulous and explosive um messy poo that I did under Mom's computer desk. I can't remember what it was that I ate but I unleashed a spray that lasted a good 6 feet starting under the desk into the middle of the living room. Now I cannot say that it looked like a celebrity or religious figure, but the look on Mom's face was kind of like this:

This is called The Scream, by Edvard Munch. That's what Mom looked like, I think her hair even fell out for a second or two.

2. What was life like BTD (before the Doofus)?

Life was in a word, GRAND. Here is the way I had the humans trained BTD. I would go to my grandparent's house for a few days and just as I was getting bored there they would call Mom and Dad and say, Joey wants to do something, you better come get him. So then I would go stay with my parents and as soon as I got bored there, they would drive me back to the grandparents again. It was fabulous! Car rides back and forth, Gram would give me french fries all the time, Gramps gives great butt scritches and Mom and Dad were great for walks and dog parks and dog parties. Now, we are here ALL THE TIME, trapped with each other like rats in a cage :(

3. There are so many fine ladies out there and you don't have a special someone … what makes The Stains tick?

I'm a loner Doggie, a rebel. I got my eye on some ladies but I won't say who, I don't want anydog falling for me because I am just not the type to commit and I don't want to break any hearts. I need a lot of time to myself, time to reflect on the Stains I've made and think about what Stains the future may hold.

4. What food produces the best farts? In other words, what are the raw ingredients you put into your Dutch oven?
Oh boy, this is a great question. So far I think the best farts I have been able to produce come from Hot Dogs. There is just something beautiful about the hot dog. The taste on my tongue is like a fantasy of spices and meaty goodness exploding in my mouth. Then a few hours later its like a cacophony of beautiful butt music followed by a room clearing aroma that makes Mom and Dad make Doofus Faces.

5. And the question we've all thought but no one has been brave enough to ask – how do you really feel about Tanner?

Let me just tell you the absolute truth here, Tanner is a complete mess. He falls out of the bed, he eats poop, he gets in the trash, etc. But I gotta say for as much as he bugs the everloving CRAP out of me 99% of the day, sometimes I like the guy. Like 1% of everyday you will catch us actually playing. I guess the guy is keeping me young and I sure did lose a lot of weight since he got here. But really, I think I need to go back to some weekends alone with Gram and Gramp, there is only so much one dog can take of WHATSSSSUUUUUUUUPP in your face every five minutes and I won't even begin to tell you about his terrible potty mouth. Mom and Dad sure dropped the ball letting that one watch HBO all the time.

Well, Ike, that was FABULOUS!!! Thank you for the very though provoking questions!

These are the rules:
1. If you are interested in being interviewed, leave me a comment saying, 'interview me.'
2. I will respond by posting five questions for you. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

31 Stains:

Blogger Nugget said...

Hi Joey,

Great work! That poop story made Mum turn color... She said good thing she wasn't eating while she was reading it.

I am game for an interview too.


11:04 PM  
Blogger Amber-Mae said...

Woh! Those are some looooong answers...But good interview you both! Glad you're feeling better now.

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

11:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a fantastic interview Joey - no wonder you are such a celebrity!!

HM was gagging about the poop story though - which is good makes my accidents look so much better!!


12:23 AM  
Blogger Oscar's mummy and daddy said...

Thanjks for the welcome old chap, terrific.

Loved the interview too, topper!

Toodle pip,


1:18 AM  
Blogger Simba and Jazzi said...

Great interview. My Mummy pulls faces like that some days. Its nearly worth throwing up on the floor for.

Simba xx

1:19 AM  
Blogger Girl Girl Hamster said...

Woh those are pawsome answers. hee.. I like the stain question and how your mom looked like after that. hee hee

~ Girl girl

1:22 AM  
Blogger Duke said...

Your answers had us totally cracking up here, Joey!
We love your classic JT choice for Harry!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

2:36 AM  
Blogger Jen and Suki said...

Joey, I'm glad you do like Tanner now and again. I agree that grams/gramps time is integral to a happy doghood. I go up to the Big House (not the football stadium) to see Grammie and Gramps about once a week. Grammie says any longer and she goes through withdrawals (it's the cuteness factor here, you got it too).

Good work on that Scream stain! I figured out last night that SALMON causes some raunchy farts.

5:04 AM  
Blogger Scrappy and Pebbles said...

Great interview.


5:21 AM  
Blogger Deefor said...

Amazing answers and questions. I can relate. And a perfect welcome song.


6:31 AM  
Blogger Ruby Bleu said...

Between you and Ike I just laugh and laugh and laugh. Your interview was the funniest thing I've read in a while...I mean I was practically on the floor rolling and holding my tummy. My Mom, tears in her eyes. How is it that you have that effect on people??? Joe, you are amazing!!!

Lots of Licks, Ruby

P(ee)S: Mom agrees about the Hot Dog farts too!

6:32 AM  
Blogger Gudrun said...

Hi Joe!
That was a very candid interview, I feel like I know you so well now! Yes, hotdog farts clear the room - love it!!! As for Tanner, well, like the funny man on TV says: you can't fix stupi...I mean doofus-ism.

Nubbin wags,

6:48 AM  
Blogger Ferndoggle said...

Hot dogs...yes, they are great fart producers. I can totally relate to that poop story. I like to spin around in circles when I get sick in the house.


7:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

what a fantastic interview!

7:10 AM  
Blogger Joey said...

Hahaha.. Joey, you've always been able to crack me up!

The other Joey

7:23 AM  
Blogger Luckie Girl said...

It was a very insightful interview.I have to say Ike asked some great questions. Thanks for sharing. And we also want to thank you for your kind thoughts. Mom and I appreciate it a lot.

7:34 AM  
Blogger Gus said...

Great choice of a Welcome Song! And so DWB appropriate! Muzzer says it is one of her all time favorites.

Great interview! You like Doofus about as much as I Like Teka...haha

8:14 AM  
Blogger Gus said...

Interview Me?

8:15 AM  
Blogger H.A. Turbofire, Sibertarian said...

I'd love to be interviewed by you!

10:10 AM  
Blogger Suki & Joey said...

Great answers, Joe! And what pawsome questions. Ike's a great interviewer.

Sooo..what girls DO you have your eye on? I bet Ruby's one of em! Hehehehe!

Puggy kisses

10:12 AM  
Blogger Emily and Ike said...

I had no idea hot dogs were such a colonic delight! I will have to try that. Awesome answers!

10:19 AM  
Blogger Sophie Brador said...

Joey, I usually try to remain super private and mysterious, but I would allow you to interview me. You and only you, because you are the amazing Joe Stains!


P.S. You are totally in the band!
P.P.S. Thanks for telling us about Harry.

10:22 AM  
Blogger Jackson's J1 and J2 said...

Great questions, great answers. Haven't tried hot dogs and somehow I doubt I'll be allowed to try them now! J x

12:05 PM  
Blogger Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

oh I am in total awe!

that was possibly the most insightful and interesting and dog butt scratching, itching, peeing post I have ever read, Joey!

I love your work!

You make me smile and laugh much, dear Joe Stains The Total Stain Master of the whole Stain Master World........

Never mind the darn doofus, just keep on stainin'

You Are The Man!

love and licks, Marvin xxxxxx

12:12 PM  
Blogger Clover said...

Haha ... Joey!! You cheered my mom up on a glum day. Great answers!
Love Clover xo

1:13 PM  
Blogger Tadpole said...

Woo! I had an awesome poo like that once too! Actually more than once... that's one of the side effects of my angry pancreas. :-)

I was kinda, half-way hoping Tanner would get interviewed too... but I don't know good that would be, now that I think about it.

5:19 PM  
Blogger Frasier said...

Oh man,I want a hot dog so bad!!!

6:35 PM  
Blogger Lorenza said...

Hi, Joe
First of all... I am so sorry about the Steelers.
Then, that was a great interview! I just can imagine your mom's face with that poop you left there!
Sure Tanner keeps you young!
Have a good night

6:59 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...


Loved the video (especially James Taylor circa 1971), and love love LOVED the interview answers. Ike asked some penetrating questions and you took it like a DOG! I was left wanting more, but feel I know you that much better, man. Thanks for sharing.

Goob love,

8:09 PM  
Blogger Myeo said...

This is so funny.. you made us laugh so hard.

Boy n Baby

2:29 AM  
Blogger A&S said...

wow. those weeere incredibly thought provoking questions.

7:21 AM  

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