Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Monday, September 08, 2008

Tanner WTF is this Toy Day?!

OMDOG guys its like ONE WEEK til it is my BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMDOG!! I will be 4 or maybe 5, depending on which papers from the pound you believe. ONE says I was almost 1 year old when I came to the pound, the other says I was almost 2! I think I am going to be 4, I feel more like I will be 4 than 5. 5 Seems OLD and like I'd need some of that Sponsibility stuff, I don't want THAT!!!!!!!!

So the other night Dad was doing some cleaning stuffs in the bathroom and had a bunch of things out on the floor when I found something SO TOTALLY COOL!

Its a Giant red doggy toy!! (note from Mom- this is actually a loofah scrubber for humans to wash themselves with in the shower)

I totally ripped its head open and pulled all the stuffing out, but then the rest of it was like not sploding? WTF??

I'd pull on it, and it would just like streeetch...

WTF I am pulling as hard as I CAN!!!!!!!

WHY WONT IT SPLODE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AHHH This is a defecteritive TOY. Who bought this thing?! I sure hope we can get our money back for this piece of crap toy!

That is the worst toy ever. Stupid non-sploding no stuffy or squeaky having piece of CRAP TOY!

I am going to stick with my corns.

53 Stains:

Blogger Girl Girl Hamster said...

Yeah I think 4 would be a new age for you Tanner. :)
Oh dear.. I hope you'll get a refund for that toy

~ Girl girl

1:02 AM  
Blogger Simba said...

What sort of toy is that!!! Its wrong, just wrong. You don't look a day over 4.

Simba x

1:53 AM  
Blogger Cassidy said...

That toy does look a bit defective, but imagine how far you could stretch it if you got hold of one end and Joey got hold of the other, whee!

Cassidy x

2:15 AM  
Blogger BWTH Dog House said...

nononooo, you dont look like 4 for me...mayb you are just 3. Just like me and what toy is that?? its suck, give it back to the petstore.

slurpy licks,

3:10 AM  
Blogger Abby said...

Hi, Tanner...

I think you are 4...No way you look 5...

That's a weird toy...But I think Cassidy is right...You & Joey could play a really good game of Tug-O-War with that...

You should try & see how far you can stretch it...

Abby xxxooo

3:34 AM  
Blogger Charlie Daniels said...

I reckon you should ask for a refund on that toy! In fact I think you should get two new ones in place of it!



3:38 AM  
Blogger Khyra The Siberian Husky said...

I'm sure your mom took note and will no doubt get you a toy like that fur your barkday!

Isn't it nice to drop such subtle hints of what woo would like?


4:06 AM  
Blogger Mack said...

Mack's mom here: I think I will buy a dozen or so of those non-sploding toys for my Mr. Destructo.

4:50 AM  
Blogger Peanut said...

5 is old? It is not old. That toy sure did suck didn't it?

5:14 AM  
Blogger Pug and Bugg said...

In the 4th picture you look like a really cool aerobics instructor!!!!!!

5:32 AM  
Blogger Stanislaw said...

Aw man. A toy with no guts. Who thought of that one? I'd like to weeble on their ankles.

When Pupi was adopted they said that he was 2 or 5. Are they crazy? I mean, are we really that tricky to age? Humans are such a simple species!

6:17 AM  
Blogger Agatha and Archie said...

Wht piece of junk..what the heck kind of toy doesn't explode?? Love A+A

6:33 AM  
Blogger Ruby Bleu said...

Tanner you give up to easily...I bet if you keep going it would splode...I just bet!

Lots of Licks, ruby

6:39 AM  
Blogger The Puppies said...

Poor Tanner!!! That looks like a bad toy!! It is absolutely no fun when you can't pull all the stuffing out!! And no squeaker??!! That just isn't right!! I took apart two stuffies (squeaker and stuffing) last night!!!

6:49 AM  
Blogger Mango said...

You know, Tanner, just because it didn't splode today, doesn't mean it won't splode tomorrow (maybe while you are sleeping). I think you better keep an eye on that thing.


6:52 AM  
Blogger Mango said...

Oh yeah, and what's up with you being four (or maybe five) years old and still acting like a Doofus?

Look at Joey. No Doofusness there at all, no siree bob. Watch out, or your mom and dad will bring home another BT to straighten you out.


6:54 AM  
Blogger Sophie Brador said...

So two things Tanner.

1. What is with the dual birthday business at your house. First, my Joey has two birthdays and now you have two ages.

2. I do believe your corns don't splode or squeak either.


7:17 AM  
Blogger Mango said...

Tanner, this question is too hard for you, so please make sure you ask Joey.

I made a big old bloggy list of feeds for all my pals on my blog, but when I tried to add you! Joey! The man! Blogger said you didn't have a feed. Is there something funny about your bloggie?


7:42 AM  
Blogger Brown Dog Mom said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:03 AM  
Blogger Brown Dog Mom said...

My dogs are not interested in being "sponsible" either. You are not alone!

8:07 AM  
Blogger DESERT PUPS said...

Woof, Tanner

Don't you just hate those non-squeaky, sploding, stuffless toys? What is this world coming too? Dogs need stuffing and sqeakies.

Desert Pups

8:30 AM  
Blogger Maggie and Mitch said...

Geez, what a dud that toy is! The colors are pretty but that's where it ends!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

9:23 AM  
Blogger Poppy said...

Don't worry Tanner. You tried your best. Maybe you should try scissors??


9:54 AM  
Blogger vix said...

I love how pink Tanner's cheeks get when he is really working at a toy.

10:52 AM  
Blogger Murphey said...

Yup, at least you can make a shank outta corn, much better than that stupid non exploding toy.


11:05 AM  
Blogger Moco said...

You will always be young at heart. That is the stupidest toy that I have ever seen. What is the purpose of it. You are lucky that you did not get your teeth stuck and have to carry it around with you for the rest of your life. What was your dad thinin' even having that thing in the house.

11:51 AM  
Blogger Lady Kaos said...

I think they need to take that toy bacfk and get one that explodes properly! I hate defective toys!!

1:30 PM  
Blogger Willie and Waylon said...

We think the corn shanks are more you

1:53 PM  
Blogger Noah the Airedale said...

Tanner we thought for sure you'd rip that toy apart matie. Have your teeth gone soft...maybe you are 5 hee hee.

Noah Willow Tess Lucy

2:22 PM  
Blogger Sunny,Scooter,Jamie said...

Oh my dog. Tanner, you had us laughing sooo hard. You are right tho. Crappy toy!
We think 4 also. Actually we thought perhaps younger cause,well,uh,of some of your doofus behavoir. But then we remembered. Scooter will be 11 on Sat. and his brain is still not caught up to his age! That's why we think you and Scooter are quite alot alike!!

3:52 PM  
Blogger Petey said...

But Tanner, your teeth must look nice and shiny from all that flossing!

Your pal,


4:49 PM  
Blogger Lorenza said...

Hi, Tanner!
That no-toy sure was not funny to play with! a toy that does not explode is not a good toy!
Kisses and hugs

6:40 PM  
Blogger MJ's doghouse said...

wow....what is even the use of a toy that doesnt splode or squeek..i am with you there doofus man...damn piece of hbo crap...

7:49 PM  
Blogger Rudy said...

You can do what my great-grandma did about her age. The courthouse burnt down that had her birth certificate in it so she took the younger age for the rest of her life!
yeah, I'd call Better Business about that toy... what were they thinking?


8:05 PM  
Blogger Huskee and Hershey said...

Hmmm.. it does seem a bit defective. Maybe you and Joey can play 'tug-of-war' using that toy?

8:09 PM  
Blogger Asta said...

That is the most defectivest toy did evewything wight, and it just sat thewe..stoopid toy
can't wait fow youw Birfday
smoochie kisses

10:18 PM  
Blogger Boo said...

tanner! that's the loofah to shower you is it?

wet wet licks


10:27 PM  
Blogger happy said...

That's a defective toy alright! Hope you'll get a refund for it.

Turning 4? How lovely!

10:55 PM  
Blogger Aniemother said...

BOL!!! That's one weird toy!


12:26 AM  
Blogger Jake of Florida said...

Hey, Tanner. They don't know how old I am either -- most think almost four, yet my vet thought my teethies looked older. But since I was so puppyish we went with 8 months when I was adopted, so now I'm almost four. That makes us two goofballs of the same cohort!!! And we do share something else: those pesky older brothers!!!


Just Harry

6:13 AM  
Blogger Toffee said...

Maybe it wasn't a toy at all?? Maybe your pawrents were trying to get you to bathe? That would be a sneaky trick...

so the 15th is your barkday?

7:26 AM  
Blogger The Army of Four said...

I'm not sure, but I'd bet my little sister Am could rip that to shreds in 3.4 seconds. We don't call her "Jaws of Steel" for nothing!

9:02 AM  
Blogger Ike said...

That is a crap toy!

9:14 AM  
Blogger Dewey Dewster said...

Wow Tanner....

If ya want somethin' ta explode....ya can come 'n help us attack out next porcupine....we are hopin' fer a loud explosion from one of those fer the loofa....ya got a hooman toy there, Tanner, not a doggie one....seesh.....wo knew hooman toys were so dog proof?????

Dewey Dewtser here.....

9:19 AM  
Blogger Deetz said...

Its a crime when a toy will not xplode everywhere or they do not scream when squizzed. Madness I tell ya

10:27 AM  
Blogger Sunny,Scooter,Jamie said...

HeyTanner! WHHAAAASSSUUPPP! gess whutgesswhutgesswhut??? Yer burpday is close to min!!I am on #13 of Septemberer.Mom sed u were #15 of Septembererer. She sed that is like 2 days. We ar nerly twinz! wel,cept we don luk alik an i wil be 11 mom u don no how old but 4 or5 u think mom sed. isnt that cool!!!! Tanner the man an me nerly twinz! I stil wanna cum to live at yer howse so i can hav yer kind of foods an so u can teech me to fly! an i can halp u say heybudshaybuds to joe!
hi 5's frum yer neerly twin!

2:25 PM  
Blogger Mango said...

Hey Joey! I made feeds for all my pals, but the one for you didn't work, so I put a picture of your handsome self on my sidebar with a link to your bloggie. Hope that's OK.


4:15 PM  
Anonymous Booker said...

HA hahahahahahhaha! you are so lucky that it didn't get tangled up in your ferocious fangs and need to be detangled by your mom!

5:21 PM  
Blogger T-man's mom said...

Tanner, that does look like a crap toy. I'd stick with the reliable corns if I were you!

6:45 PM  
Blogger Super Boy & Baby-Licious said...

You are 4!!!! You dont even look 1!

Boy n Baby

6:51 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...

YO, Tanner!

You fought the toy, and the toy won, man!


Goob love,

7:58 PM  
Blogger Eric said...

Hmmmm...wonder if that doggie had been on a starvation diet... thats why no stuffies inside?

Wags, Eric x

4:37 PM  
Blogger Comet and BLU said...

That's the weirdest toy we've ever seen. We bet we could destroy it though!

8:44 PM  

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