Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Tips for HUMANS!

Mom is always coming home from that work going OMDOG I had such a bad DAY?! Then she is like not in a good mood and then I am like WTF I am going to bite that Work guy! So I have to teach my Mom how to reeee lax! SO you Humans PAY ATTENSHUN, this is one class to not miss!!!!!

First thing you do is find one nice place to lay down, then you roolll over like this...

WOOAAAAHHHH. Sometimes when you first roll over your mouth goes all weird and your gums go all flappy and your eyes are like WOOOAAAH Bugging out of your head. ITS OK, I think this is like FISICKS or somtehing that like if you roll too fast the rest of your FACE has to catch up with um Gravitea? or um well, its compleecated!

THEN you want to stick out your Tongue and go WORK YOU STINK!!!!!!!!!

Do it AGAIN with your eyes closed and concentrate REALLY HARD if you had a REALLY bad day!!!

Then its ok to go WHATTTTTTTTTTTSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPP to all the people at your house that make you happy!? and Dogs too! SO YEll WHATSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUPPPPPPPP then you will feel like 39048590485 times better!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you do ALL that stuff, you will forget ALL about stupid work or stupid ANYTHING and you will just be able to LAUGH like I am!!!!!!!!

I hope you liked this lesson being REEEE LAXED!!!!

44 Stains:

Blogger Abby said...

Hi, Tanner...

My Mom really needs to try that!!!!

Abby xxxooo

5:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the tips Tanner. Just looking at the pictures of you made my human pet feel much more relaxed!


Miss Kitty

6:03 PM  
Blogger Jen and Suki said...

Thanks, Tanner. Maybe mom should follow your advice because she has been EXTRA crabby after work lately. I think my cute face and your cute face made her feel better already though.

6:10 PM  
Blogger Sophie Brador said...

Tanner, Did your mom try it yet? Did you get any pictures?


6:41 PM  
Blogger Lacy said...

w00f's joey and tanner, wow tanner, me sooo glad u insturcted us all how to reeeee laX, me will git my mama to try u suggestions...she can shure b a fussie butt sumtimes...

b safe,

6:50 PM  
Blogger Lorenza said...

Hi, Tanner!
I am going to print out your post with all the pictures so next time my mom comes home saying HBO words about her job she will follow all your tips!
Thanks for sharing them!
Kisses and hugs

6:52 PM  
Blogger Ruby Bleu said...

Thanks for that! I'll have to make sure to pass that along to my Mom as she could really use that now! maybe I could figure out the video camera and take a video of her doing it...that would be nice to see, huh?

Lots of Licks, ruby

6:56 PM  
Blogger Snowball said...

Thats some really good tips. Jie jie wants me to say thank you for the lesson.



6:56 PM  
Blogger Gus said...

Tanner, you are better than a Yoga class any day.

Thank you for the tips

7:04 PM  
Blogger MJ's doghouse said...

wow...i am so tirrrrrrrrrrrrrred just hearing how you relax doofus. I am having a nice relaxing night...and guess ordered pizza for supper for the first time since my dad went on his trip so I had pizza....yummy....

7:06 PM  
Blogger Peanut said...

i'm going to show this to my mom because even though she doesn't go outside the house to work she still needs to learn to relax.

7:11 PM  
Blogger Ferndoggle said...

I already feel relaxed watching you T-Money. I need to practice those moves in DoYoga...


7:14 PM  
Blogger Patience-please said...

Thank you Tanner! The whippets made sure I saw your post, and I enjoyed your advice so much I read it to my husband, too. We are rolling around shouting WHAAAATTSSUUUUUPPP at the top of our lungs, and now the whippets are looking at us a little funny.

But we feel more relaxed than we have in years!

thanks from the whippets' servants

7:28 PM  
Blogger Emily and Ike said...

I have to make my mom read this because she comes home from work all AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH too.

8:12 PM  
Blogger vix said...

Oh Tan Tan Man, if we all had you to come home to every day there's no way work would get us TOO down! Thanks for the lesson -- I sure needed the refresher!

9:15 PM  
Blogger Noah the Airedale said...

Hiya Tanner
Well I tried this down at my grandmapinkys place and sadly I fell off the lounge with a thump. I think I gave D a fright as she is always fluffing over me. I will try it again at home.

Noah xx

9:50 PM  
Blogger Asta said...

You did this at the pawfect time, cause like mommi is supew stwessed about twying to help Aunt Kawen, and do hew painting,a dn take cawe of me and daddi , and iwon, and shop , and cook, and I think she's having a systems ovewload ow when the pootew know??
anyway..I'm making hew wead youw post and follow youw instwuctions..I think you'we faboolous
smoochie kisses

10:06 PM  
Blogger Urban Smoothie Read said...

great tips ....

humans shld learn this

12:26 AM  
Blogger Mack said...

Tanner -
I think your new title should be Minister of Relaxation!

12:35 AM  
Blogger Girl Girl Hamster said...

Oh.. my hooman needs to try that out. It sure looks like a pawsome tip for her

~ Girl girl

12:53 AM  
Blogger Charlie Daniels said...

Thanks Joe

I'm gonna get TBU & HH to try that tomorrow !



1:16 AM  
Blogger Boo Casanova said...

joey, i don't do that trick but mom and dad always come home happy seeing us. i guess that's the trick - seeing us.

wet wet licks


2:23 AM  
Blogger Duke said...

GREAT lesson, Tanner! We don't think you're always the Doofus that Joey thinks you are! You're very smart sometimes!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

2:52 AM  
Blogger wally said...

I don't work and that works for me.

I think your mom should try that AT work to help her relax. In particular the rolling around on her back and saying WASSSSSUUUUUUP.

wally t.

4:34 AM  
Blogger Dexter said...

That is excellent advice. Momma is practicing getting the proper face in front of the mirror right now.


5:10 AM  
Blogger umekotyan said...

Good evening joey.
It is a good car.
Stain Mobile.
I want it.
It is wonderful.
And, I want you to pass away early when I am too hot.
It staggers by lack of sleep. :)

from loved ume tyan

6:19 AM  
Blogger Amber-Mae said...

Oooh, I already feel sooo relaxed after reading your post. Gonna make sure my Mommy tries it out later...

Butt wiggles,
Solid Gold Dancer

6:32 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Ahhhh, that looks just great! Mommy and I are going to have to try that immediately on the bed (as long as she doesn't fall off and hurt her OTHER leg!)

Hey! Did you see that I gave you an Award for excellence in blogging??? Well deserved!

Your pal,


6:47 AM  
Blogger Toffee said...


I made my mom "sit pretty" and read this post because she is often coming home complaining about what a ruff day she's had too! I don't know what she's talking about because it is wayyy harder for me to sleep 18 hours a day AND maintain my cuteness!

6:50 AM  
Blogger Simba and Jazzi said...

If my Mummy starts doing that I'm going to get her locked up.

Simba x

8:00 AM  
Blogger BrandytheGreat said...

I told my hooman like a thousand times, she wont listen..i'll just hafta show her thiss!

8:15 AM  
Blogger Nanette said...

Wow, lessons from a master! Thanks Tanner! I will definitely try those tips out...probably tonight.

8:58 AM  
Blogger Petra said...

Finally! At last! The answer to a stress-free life! Thanks so much for the advice, Tanner. I will print your post and hand-deliver it to Motch because she needs this info.

10:27 AM  
Blogger Clover said...

Oh wow - thanks for the lesson. I am going to have my mom and dad take a look. No wonder you are so happy all the time!
Love Clover xo

10:57 AM  
Blogger Agatha and Archie said...

PL2 just ran out the room to try it...Love A+A

11:10 AM  
Blogger Lola Smiles said...

Tanner dude: that worked on my mom...she's been having lotsa bad days lately!

luv ya lil' guy!
lola smiles

12:53 PM  
Blogger Ozzie, Rocky and Lola said...

Tanner we think you should get a publisher and do a "self-help" book! Your are too funny!
Ozzie & Rocky

2:06 PM  
Blogger Stanislaw said...

You truly have antigravity face jowlies! I wonder if I can get my big cocker spaniels ears to do that?

2:31 PM  
Blogger Lady Kaos said...

I am so going to make my Mom read this post about 10 times!! Thanks for a great post!

3:22 PM  
Blogger Ben & Darling said...

Oh I did that all the time!!! I even invite my mom but she doesnt like it. Shes nut!! No wonder she complain about her work so much.

slurpy licks,

5:55 PM  
Blogger Ronak said...

Joe, I don't think that I saw this post before, but YOU ARE SO RIGHT!! My big sis comes home sighing and moaning and groaning and slumping onto the sofa and sometimes QUITE HALF-HAZARDLY throwing my toys around!! WTF is right! I mean, don't tell her I said so because that's a little fresh, but that makes me want to bite those work people ALSO! And since I go to the office on the weekends sometimes, that's not a good idea!!!!!!!!!!! I will use your step-by-step tips on her and let you know how it goes. Thank you for being an educator in our community, Professor Stains.

6:35 AM  
Blogger The Army of Four said...

GREAT advice, Tan-man! I need to make sure my mom sees this!
Play bows,

9:22 AM  
Blogger Jackson's J1 and J2 said...

Hey Tanner, thanks for the tip, I'm going to pass it onto J1. She could really do with it! Jx

5:05 AM  
Blogger Balboa said...

My mommy says cleaning makes her feel better, but I think your advice is so much better, Plus it would be pretty funny to see my mommy do that!!!!!!

Frenchie SNorts

4:55 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home