Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Monday, October 06, 2008


My very handsome and smart friend Ike challenged us to talk about our SECRETS.

Here are the rules: Make 3 confessions (Conan O'Brien style) with the pictures to prove them. Then nominate at least 3 friends to do the same!

We will start with me, Joe Stains.

The first secret is this, we have a pretty large yard with plenty of places to go pee and poo. BUT this is pretty much the ONLY place I will go poo...

I like the privacy of the corner, behind the wood pile!

Next is one that is pretty traumatic. When I was first home with my Dad, his girlfriend (not my Mom) used to paint my toenails!!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!?!?

Mom tried to get a pic of me posing with the nail polish, but I honestly ran away everytime she put the bottle near me. Tanner agreed to be my stunt double for that pic.


I really like poetry, especially love poems by this dude Neruda and another guy named Pushkin. Of course, it is no secret who I am thinking about when I read them. OK here is Tanner. My snuggle buddy. :|



Mom had to put one water bowl in the BATHROOM or else I go in and drinks out of the shower!! LOL Her shower doesn't drain quite right so there would be puddles and I'd always be drinking out of them!!

I ALWAYS do little help!! If you are sitting on the floor on the phone or like Dad looking at his books, I ALWAYS have to come see you and help you. Here I am helping Dad keep his books clean by licking them!


This gun is called STOP EATING CAT POO! Anytime you hear Mom call its name, you can expect a BIG SPLASH of water on your bum because you are PROBABLY eating CAT POO in the yard. OMDOG I hate that thing!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hopes you likes the SECRETS!

I tag my TWINNER Scooter, LACIE the lifeguard terrier and my BOOOOTIFUL wife LILLIE!!

NOW Joey tags THREE!

I tag, Mango the Maltese, Mango the HUGE, and SOPHIE's Mom to tell me secrets about Sophie. WITH PICTURES.

33 Stains:

Blogger Sophie Brador said...

Woah Joe! Secrets about me? I'll have to tell my mom and see if she can find out any of my secrets.


p.s. I used to know a cat named Pushkin. But that's definitely not that poet dude.

7:01 PM  
Blogger Luckie Girl said...

oh wow....thanks for sharing, guys. I just thought that having a water bowl in the bathroom is a brillant idea! I always like drinking after my hoomans finish with their shower.

7:21 PM  
Blogger Peanut said...

We just drink out of the toilet. It works as a huge water bowl

7:38 PM  
Blogger Lorenza said...

Hi, Joey and Tanner!
Thanks for sharing your secrets!
Now I know how romantic you are Joey!
A big splash with that gun sounds scary! I'd be afraid of eating cat poo!
Kisses and hugs

7:38 PM  
Blogger Sparky said...


Those are grrrrEAT secrets about you and Tanner. Does tanner really get sprayed by the water gun when he eats cat chocolates? Hee hee, that's kinda funny.


7:43 PM  
Blogger T-man Angel said...

Joey, you are so romantic!! Are you thinking of Tanner when you read those poems?? ;) That's terrible you had to wear nail polish. That's doggie abuse! Good thing your dad found your mom and put an end to that nonsense!!

Thanks for sharing your secrets!!

T-man Angel

7:57 PM  
Blogger Deefor said...

Hi Joe & Tanner
That nail polish secret is shocking. Good thing you have a stunt double. I'll have to use Arrow for that. I ever tasted cat poop but horsie poop is yummy.


8:03 PM  
Blogger Huskee and Hershey said...

Hi guys,
Thanks for sharing your deepest, darkest secrets.. I really like the way Joey is so open and honest about his ermm... nail polish days.. I bet it must've been very hard on a tough guy like him to be spotted with nailpolish (I hope your dad's ex-gf used OPI like your mom though cos my mom swears by it)!!

8:15 PM  
Blogger Boo said...

well joey, do you circle around the area before you poop? i always do that so i don't really have an exact place to poopie but always the same area tho.

tanner licked the books? which is more disgusting? licking mommy's feet or the book??

wet wet licks


8:26 PM  
Blogger The Girl said...

OMD, the indignity of it all! Painting your toenails indeed! Tanner looks suitably traumatized to represent how it must have felt.

The Girl likes poetry too, and she really likes the Pushkin guy.

Tanner, you really are a helpful little dude. I wish you hadn't talked about the DON'T EAT CAT POO! I myself quite enjoy all the cat poo I can find, and now The Girl is talking about getting one of those things. Horrors!!!

Brown dog kisses,

8:29 PM  
Blogger Asta said...

OOOH I loved all youw secwets..Joey, I'm so glad youw Dad got youw Mom and got wid of that stwange woman..painting YOUW toenails??//is she nuts??
Tanner, I bet evewyone appweciates all the help you give awe wondewful....also Joey, I think it's vewy civilized of you to have a special toilet..much mowe sanitawy, and poetwy by Pushkin and Newuda..Wow Sophie is a lucky Giwl
smoochie kisses

10:05 PM  
Blogger Simba said...

Hope you had a good weekend. Its been wet and windy here all weekend.

Simba x

12:57 AM  
Blogger Snowball said...

Jie jie use a smaller version of the "Stop Eating Cat Poo" gun when she is taking care of dogs that like to leave too many Pee Mails.

Thanks for sharing you secrets . Tanner look great with the nail polish on.


3:15 AM  
Blogger Khyra The Siberian Husky said...

FURRY nice to see what your little sekhrets are - I'm just glad to see that is wasn't that you REALLY did like living in a blastfurnace!

Sweet Lorenza tagged me BUT I'm having trouble khoming up with some -

PLUS, maybe I should wait until AFTER the elekhtion so as to not khompromise Turbo's vikhtory!


4:29 AM  
Blogger umekotyan said...

Good evening joey.
When the enamel of the fingernail is expected, it is joey.
Poet's voice feels it there.
However, if it is joey, it is the highest place though it thinks about the
watering place of the rest room for a moment. :)

from loved ume tyan

5:19 AM  
Blogger Gus said...

Yup, we have a "Don't fight" Gun for outside and a "Don't fight" can (with pennies in it!) for inside, and just when we start to have fun, muzzer says "I'm getting the Can/Gun if you don't stop" and Bam. She cheats. She has it in her hand when she hollers.

I am so sorry about the toenail polish, but you seem well adjusted now.


6:09 AM  
Blogger Mack said...

Seriously....nail polish....Oh I am so sorry...
And our mom has a squirt bottle that she sprays on us when we start acting up. Lilly's usually the one that gets it!

6:31 AM  
Blogger Mango said...

Joey - What's up with the cement wall around your yard? Do you live in a bunker? Did your dad dump his girlfriend because she painted your toes?

And Tanner, dude, I gotta say that I'm with you on cat poop being totally yummers. Sorry about the evil gun.


7:23 AM  
Blogger The Army of Four said...

Yeah, you can't sit on the floor around here without DAVE on top of you. Really.
Tail wags,

7:46 AM  
Blogger Petra said...

You were brave to share the secret about the nail polish, Joey. I'm so glad that crazy lady is out of your life.

I have a water bowl in the bathroom, too, Tanner, and I always drink from that one, even if I'm in the kitchen where there's another one.

9:16 AM  
Blogger Tupac Da Dogg said...

Neruda's poetry is the bomb! I knew you were a playa dogg when I first saw you online. Damn, you've got skillz.

10:14 AM  
Blogger Kodak the Eskie said...

Hey, those are great secrets! Thanks for sharing!

Hugs, Kodak

10:39 AM  
Blogger The Puppies said...

Great secrets Tanner and Joe!! Our mom may want to invest in one of those guns for when we go to our granparents house! We have a thing for those sandy burgers!!
The puppies

10:43 AM  
Blogger Bobo the Boston Terrier said...

Do you make circles before you poo? I have to walk around in circles before I drop a big one.

Don't eat Kitty Roca, it's bad for you! hahahahah

11:46 AM  
Blogger Lady Kaos said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Oh my dogness Tanner!!! You're hilarious!!! The stop eating cat poo looks liek fun cuz I like being squirted. Ship it to me and then I can have fun and you won't hev to get squirted anymore! hehehe
Oh man! I need a nap now!

2:23 PM  
Blogger Moco said...

What interesting secrets. Licking the books to keep them clean is being a good worker.
I doubt we would like that water on the bum gun. Foley like to go outside and eat the cat poo. That gun thingy would give him a heart attack.
Somehow we can picture Joe reading poetry.

3:21 PM  
Blogger BenTheRotti said...

Hi Guys,

Joey... she painted your toenails??!! I am gonna assume that your Dad dumped her for that reason.. so painting your toenails was a good thing (hang on hear me out) because then he met your Mom who is the coolest!

Tanner.. thank dog you don't live here, Mum says she would use that gun to wash your mouth out after she had aimed it at your butt to cease the cat poo munching! gee she is a REAL killjoy!

They were all great secrets!

Ben xxxx

3:43 PM  
Blogger Balboa & Mommy said...

That nail polish story scared me, so glad you don't have to do that anymore.

That is one evil water gun!!!!!

Frenchie SNorts

3:47 PM  
Blogger Maggie and Mitch said...

Somehow we just can't see you with pink toenails, Joey!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

3:55 PM  
Blogger Sunny,Scooter,Jamie said...

Hey Tanner, Scooter didn't read this yesterday, and if you have read today's post, you will know he is, well, impaired at the moment. I will try to help him tomorrow. Though I just wonder what possible secrets he could have.......

4:59 PM  
Blogger Comet and BLU said...

Those are great secrets! Other than the cat poop eating, I think Comet and Tanner are twins!


8:34 PM  
Blogger Dewey Dewster said...

Those are some real secrets ya revealed there guys....'n that squirt gun looks like a lethal weapon fer ya are sorry ya ate the cat poo after ya got shot with that thin' cat poo is pretty stinky 'n disguistin' ...why do ya wanna eat it anyway????

Dewey Dewster here.....

9:28 AM  
Blogger Bobo the Boston Terrier said...

I do that too! The minute mom sits down, I come over and "help" her too. She hates it! Hahaha!

12:24 PM  

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