Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Saturday, April 19, 2008

My parents are cruel humans

So often at nights and early in the morning, I just don't feel like going outside. Usually I am comfortable sleeping in the bed and the humans say, POTTY?? Tanner jumps up from a dead sleep and starts dancing around. Me, I just open one eye and hope they forget that they have two dogs. So then the following scene plays out.




I try to appear dead. Perhaps they will take pity and just let me sleep.




But oh no, Dad has to come in and grab me. This is where I go into dead weight mode. I roll on my back (sorry for the exposure in this photo, unless you are Sophie avert your eyes) and try to be as stiff and heavy as possible. This makes the humans worry they might hurt my back if they just pick me up.




The humans have this figured out and tend to roll and drag me at the same time. Can you see my face at this point???




Finally I try to grab on to my sleeping bag for dear life, but alas, I have no thumbs. I am then unceremoniously dumped on the floor and made to WALK the whole way to the back door.

If this is not mistreatment of animals, I do not know what is!

29 Stains:

Blogger Sophie Brador said...

Joe, Those are some pretty racy photos, but it is a clear cut case of animal abuse and I think you should file a formal complaint. No ... wait ... you could threaten to file a formal complaint. That should get you just about anything you want. Bacon, beer, baseball. Well, we all know you get baseball already, but it seems to go well with bacon and beer, so hold out for even more!

xo
SB

3:35 PM  
Blogger Mango said...

Oh the horror! They try to do the same thing with me... like just because peewee has to pee I do too?

BTW - Momma wants to remind you its Red Sox Nation.

Mango

3:40 PM  
Blogger Maggie & Mitch said...

It's the same thing here! Mitch races for the door like he's shot out of a cannon and I'm really slow to respond! Who's in a hurry?! Don't the hoomans realize that we older dogs need a bit more time to decide?!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

3:45 PM  
Blogger Cubby said...

Try growling a little...

3:58 PM  
Blogger Two Wild and Crazy Guyz said...

Oh Joe, we know exactly what you are talking about. Why don't those human goofballs just wait until we tell t hem we need to go outside! What a travisty! You should stain something big!
Ozzie & Rocky

4:14 PM  
Blogger Ike said...

What is with all the abuse at your house. You can come live with me.
Ike

4:48 PM  
Blogger Peanut said...

OMDog Joe. That is exactly and I mean exactly what happens at my house. Flash does the doofus thing and I just lay there. Dad can move me really well. It takes mom longer but she always does it. I am still waiting for the day she just gives up. She complains about my dead weigh the whole time.

5:05 PM  
Blogger Ruby Bleu said...

Oh Joe...I say file a complaint! That is definitely cruel and unusual punishment!!!

Good Luck with your case!

Lots of Licks, Ruby

5:19 PM  
Blogger Lorenza said...

Hi, Joey!
You need to do something about it! It is cruel! Yes, I can see your not so happy face there!
thankfuly I have my own bathroom, so I can go there just when I want to go!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

6:53 PM  
Blogger Agatha and Archie said...

Call the ASPCA now dude...this is SUCH ABUSE......Love A+A call us if you need a lawyer

7:36 PM  
Blogger Gus said...

Nope. Mistreatment of Aminals is making me get up at 5:30 Ay Yem to go on WALKIES! with Teka!

sorry...it could be worse.

gussie

8:27 PM  
Blogger Koobuss said...

Oh Joe. That is terrible! You get no respect at all. I think that you should file a grievance with the Association of Sleeping Dogs, ADS. You know their motto, "Let Sleeping Dogs Lie".

Love and Koobuss Kisses,
Koobie


pee ess Tell Mango's Momma that it may be Red Sox Nation, but it is also "Yankees Universe". (They better start doing better.)

9:09 PM  
Blogger MJ's doghouse said...

oh my god...the same thing happens to me at night...just because they want to go to bed...i am usually sound asleep on the couch and they wake me up and drag me off the couch and make me walk....why cant i just wake them up at 3 in the morning when it is my choice...geez...and joe...sorry i didnt close my eyes for the joey bits....;)

10:02 PM  
Blogger Super Boy & Baby-Licious said...

This is totally cruel! Call the SPCA!

Love
Boy n Baby

1:22 AM  
Blogger Mack said...

It is wrong on so many levels.

2:34 AM  
Blogger Patience-please said...

Yah, and when you WANT to go out, at like 3:00 AM, and you ask them nicely, then what do they do??? Do they bounce up all wahooo and say "Oh, BOY, Joey! Potty! Yes! Aren't we thrilled!!!"
They do NOT. At least not in these parts. Hippo critters, we say.

wags from the whippets

5:42 AM  
Blogger Aniemother said...

Oh you poor baby! This same thing will happen around here - at least when Mom decide she wants to go to work early in the morning.. Nimbus will always go outside, but she'll generally have to carry one pug under each arm and dump us by the front dor. Any attempt to put us on the floor only result in our jumping back up and her having to pick us up again. Pug persistence. ;)

The WrigglePugs

7:00 AM  
Blogger 2shibas said...

They do the same thing to me. WTD?

xo,
Wiley

7:28 AM  
Blogger The Army of Four said...

I'm not really a morning guy, either. I do that when Dad tries to take me out before 0600. It pays to be 58 pounds sometimes. Woo.
Luv,
Dave

8:00 AM  
Blogger Murphy Dogg said...

My dad does the same thing to me, Joe. Passive aggressive tactics can come in handy to combat this abuse, like peeing on the lawn mower left in the yard.
C-ya,
Murphy Dogg

8:44 AM  
Blogger Moco said...

Good gravy man. Tell those humans to get you a doggy door like we have. You can go in and out when ever you want. That way you don't have to potty on command. I hope Tanner isn't like Dawson. He forgets how to use the thing every few weeks and gets the big red haired guy out of the chair to open the slider door and go out with him. I think Dawson uses it as a trick.

10:37 AM  
Blogger Cassidy said...

Tee hee, you be so silly! At least you gets to go on the bed at night, me gets shut in the kitchen all on my own!

Nibbles
Cassidy x

11:19 AM  
Blogger Lola Smiles said...

awww...Joey....the humans just don't get it! I'm a morning person big time.

luv ya
lola smiles

11:35 AM  
Blogger Deefor said...

Who wants to wake up and go outside? It's mean. Arrow is like Tanner. A rooster. I'm with you. I need my sleep.

Deefor

9:03 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...

Here in GooberStan it is just the opposite. I'm very aware of my bladder's need to regularly expel my bodily waste and race to the door. Stella is the one who takes her own sweet time to get to the door.

However, I think they should trust you to know when you have to go and when you don't! Sheesh!

Goober love,
Stanley

11:12 PM  
Blogger Petra said...

OMD, I can't believe you have to get up like this in the morning. Then you probably are forced to dance for your food after that.

9:16 AM  
Blogger Lacy said...

woofies and burfs joey and tanner...hmmm dont think mama ever got up that early...her stays up all nite almost, we go p and poo at 2:30am...at 5:30am on weekends and who knows during the week...

b safe,
~rocky~

pp's dat look on u face iz priceless!!!

5:13 PM  
Blogger wally said...

So cruel. This is why I make sure I am too fat--er, too buff and muscular--for the apes to pick up.

wally.

5:34 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

I think your parents went to the same torture training class as my parents, they do the same thing to me. It's just horrible. I think we should take a stand and fight, though I'm not sure how. I'll have to think about that.

Frenchie SNorts
Balboa

1:56 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home