Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

WTF Wednesday

First, an update on the birthday fun. Mr. Chip Munk is currently residing on the top of the fridge after suffering a terrible spontaneous splosion of his butt. He will be mended and returned to active toy duty soon. Beer Can is also on the fridge because Mom was not willing to see that one splode when she was at work.

BUT ON TO IMPORTANT NEWS. HORRIFIC NEWS. (this is a long post with a lot of words which is SO not our style but I have a lot to say today)

I was sleeping today when I heard the door open hours before Mom and Dad were supposed to be home. I was SO excited. Mom put Tanner back in his little house and then followed me into the yard and as soon as I was done pooping, she picked it up and put it in a zippy bag. strange.

Then she got my leash. WOOOO.

Then we got to the VET. Boooooooo. She gave them my POOP?! I am betting they are going to try to decode my stain master abilities with that poop. We switched vets just after we got Tanner to a practice recommended by my Mom's good friend and we have been so happy with them. BUT this is the first time I was being seen by the TOG DAWG vet at this place, since I am an old dude I need special attention.

This guy looked me over from ear to tail, squeezing everything moving my joints around and omdog he said I have a mild case of something where my KNEECAPS MOVE AROUND AND POP OUT?! WTF?! Mom couldn't understand what he said something about a patella then he showed her and it just popped out OMDOG?! He said I probably had this since I was a pup and I don't have to worry but I could get Arthur Itis?!!! WTF?

Then we addressed my fur issues. In the past year or so I have lost lots of fur on my legs and belly. Please see the below picture and feel free to sob openly at my horribly bald belly.

The VET said it could be allergies, so this new food we are on may just fix it. BUT if it doesn't look better in 2 months I have to go in for a THYROID test!!

I told that Vet that under no circumstances did I take Thyroids and I never hung out with Jose Canseco OR Barry Bonds... WTF?!?!?!

I am also losing hair on my tail...

I am very self conscious about that one.

Finally, he addressed my little skin thingy that I have had for a while...

He called that a "Skin Tag" and said it is totally harmless. WHEW! (notice my PINK HAIRLESS BELLY *sob*) I think I might name it. I sense a contest coming up with those free books we got for naming my skin tag!!

So OMDOG to sum it up:

1. I may be sent in for Thyroid testing. I hope they don't have to put an asterisk next to my name for winning all those awards :(

2. I have busted knees and may develop Arthur Itis which probably means I will need round the clock care from Sophie.

3. I STILL hate the Vet.

(from Mom - 4. He is a DRAMA QUEEN. The vet said he looked GREAT for a dog his age and all the things we found today are precautionary and he is otherwise very healthy. The fish oil and other supplements we give him will help with his patella issue - I sure wish I could remember what he called it, I may have to call them or see if its on the papers we got today.)

42 Stains:

Blogger meemsnyc said...

Oh no, a Vet visit! The horrors! And your mom showed them your poops. Oh my dear. We are sorry you have lots of lost fur. Mom's former roommate had a cat who lost lots of fur because he was allergic to the cat food. When she changed the food, the fur grew back!! I hope yours does too.

9:27 PM  
Blogger Peanut said...

That is awful that she took you to the VET. I have no hair on my chest so I kind of know how you feel budyd.

9:55 PM  
Blogger Ruby Bleu said...

luxating's actually hereditary and very common in BTs :( If it hasn't bothered you so far, just take it easy and you should be ok.

I'm very sad about your hairless little tail and belly...but you are still the cuterest BT Joe!!!

I sure hope they don't decode that poop of yours!!!

Lots of Licks, Ruby

P(ee)S - I changed my food too and am doing much better, far less squishies! Thanks for your helpful info on that!

10:23 PM  
Blogger Moco said...

We are so sorry that you are losing your hair and something bad happened to your knee caps. It will all get better soon. Why does your VET collect poop? Does he have a poop-o-matic like we do?
We so missed your birthday. it must have happened when we were in far out, way out, deep outer space. Happy 4 to you. Did you getting messy when the Mr. Munk's butt exploded?

10:46 PM  
Blogger Toby said...

OMG, so sorry about the vet visit. That totally sucks like BIG time. As for the luxating patella, I have a very slightly fu.. er, messed up right knee cap too. The doc tried to pop it out of place (what a psycho) and it only slightly budged so he said no biggie.

As for the poopers in the baggie.. I think vets like to collect poop. Mom donates my crap to them all the time.


10:47 PM  
Blogger Ike said...

Luxating patellas ain't no thang! Bummer about the hairloss tho - but a thyroid problem isn't serious when treated. That's what my mom said. I have a naked tail too.
Reporting from Grandma's

10:58 PM  
Blogger Girl Girl Hamster said...

Oh.. that doesn't sound fun at all. I hope you get lots of treats to make up for that trip to the vet

~ Girl girl

11:36 PM  
Blogger MJ's doghouse said...

oh are such a drama queen...the picture of you is priceless looks like someone just put a thermometer up your bum or somehing..i think you should call your little skin tag "skinner" goes well...anyhow i am glad you are going to be around for a long time...

12:43 AM  
Blogger Simba said...

I'm glad there is nothing serious wrong, but I must admit I shed a tear over your bald tummy.

Simba x

1:17 AM  
Blogger Khyra The Siberian Husky said...

Have woo khonsidered 'trumping' your hair?

Do I see a khomb over in your future??

Glad woo were sooooo furry - and furryless - brave!


4:50 AM  
Blogger Petey said...

Joey, not to worry. All the hot male supermodels at Fashion Week had to wax their chests and bellies - you're just one step ahead of them.

Your pal,


5:34 AM  
Blogger Gus said...

Yup, I think that your hair loss is caused by worrying about Sophie. And you can't name the skin tag Rodney because he has already been taken. But we do agree with the vet that you are in fine shape for a fellow your age. Next to Muzzzer, you are the olderest person we know.


6:10 AM  
Blogger Toffee said...

Oh no! Not the V-E-T!! I think that your naked belly looks handsome (blush, blush) as well as your skin tag. Sorry about the luxating patellas but as an earlier DWB friend mentioned it is not uncommon in the Bostons (and smaller breeds, um not that you are small I am just sayin').

Psst! My bro Riley has a naked belly too!

6:49 AM  
Blogger Mango said...

Joey! You have been so brave to have never mentioned all those issues before. That going bald. Can you maybe join a hair club or get a transplant from Doofus?

Dog warts. Yuck. Grandpa Angus had them when he got old but as long as they didn't turn into collie flowers they were OK.

The whole poop thing. That's "normal" human stuff. They are always collecting poop and showing it off to their friends at the vet. I can't figure that out.

Don't tell anybody, but I am emailing you from camp. I snuck into the office during nap time.


6:56 AM  
Blogger Two Wild and Crazy Guyz said...

We are glad you got a fairly decent report from that old vet. Sounds like you should be here to spread the joy for many years to come.
Ozzie doesn't have any hair on the end of his weird little tail either. He doesn't even hold that thing up right! We will be going the vet's for an extended stay today. Oh the horror! Mom and Dad are boarding us because they are going on a long weekend trip. Think about us pacing around in that little cage. I don't think there is even room in there to pace...

7:15 AM  
Blogger Stanislaw said...

You look fabulous! And a furless belly makes for some good au naturale A/C, right? I can dig it.

Glad to hear you're on fish oil! It's SO GOOD for you! Vitamin E helps in the absorbtion of the fishy omega-3s so I recommend giving that with the fish poppers. 50-100 iu per 10 lbs body weight.

PS - The condition is called Luxating Patellas. Wile E.'s sisters had it. There's surgery to fix it, but you don't need it. It obviously hasn't been a problem for you your whole life! So tell your folks not to worry.

7:21 AM  
Blogger Sunny,Scooter,Jamie said...

Poor Joey, What a traumatic day for you. I think you look just as handsome as ever! I don't believe he had the nerve to imply you used roids!!! Anyone can see your muscular physique is natural!

Should Sophie be too busy to nurse you(and does she have any training,really? Just wondering)
I am fully certified in the healing arts. I'm just sayin....
Concerned Hugs

7:44 AM  
Blogger Amber-Mae said...

Oh! That sight of your bald tail is just too disturbing...And your nekkid belly too. I wonder what's causing you to be...bald? I used to look kinda diseased aka mangy last time but that was due to some hormone changes in my boday. Had to take hormone pills for as long as three months. But in your case, it's a different problem I guess. Hope everything will grow back out again very soon!

Butt wiggles,
Solid Gold Dancer

8:57 AM  
Blogger Jake of Florida said...

Joey, Joey -- Have you never heard folks say that bald is beautiful? Our human brother actually shaves his head, imagine!!

However,we have tons of extra hair and would be happy to send a shipment the next time we get furminated or plucked. You have a choice of wooly (Jake) or fine (JH). If the Trump combover solution appeals to you let us know.

Glad you're doing so well for your age -- but I would stay away from those Thyroids -- we do not want an asterisk after your name!!

Lots of wirey woofs,

Jake and Just Harry

9:35 AM  
Blogger The Puppies said...

Hey Joe!
It is a luxating patells! Maggie's kneecap actually popped off completely last year and wouldn't go back on and she limped around a lot (so Marshall says- this is before my (*Opal's) time). She had surgery to get it fixed and while it was healing, thankfully the other one tightened up on its own!! Also, maggie has a bald spot on her tail and she has bosten terrier pattern baldness (losing hair between her ears). our vet thinks it is her allergies too! Amazing how you guys have had the same problems!!

The Puppies!

9:42 AM  
Blogger Brown Dog Mom said...

Be careful what they give you for your allergies, Joey! Cornholio was on steroids and would get horrible "'roid rage" and be angry and bitey! We finally had to put a stop to that. He also had arthritis and had to take "'fritis medcines" (we have a video somewhere of him taking them before bed). You are aging very gracefully, I think!!!

10:21 AM  
Blogger Deetz said...

I think you should name the skin tag, "taglit"....I love your pink belly, I think it is rockin! You made me laugh so hard I forgot all about my sorrows and I get to learn cuss words here....lmao...shhhh..mum doesn't know I know cuss words yet.
I am sorry your toy xploded.

11:18 AM  
Blogger Patience-please said...

Hi Mr. Joseph Stains, it's Very Old Dog here. I take thyroid medicine and I LOVE LOVE LOVE it because it comes in OH MY DOG PILL POCKETS. Have you ever had a pill pocket? It is too yummmmm to even describe.
So I sure hope you get to have thyroid. That was nice of you to give the vet your poop. Maybe he was constipated and couldn't get any of his own???

wags from your friend, Giacomino

11:44 AM  
Blogger Clover said...

Joey! Sorry to hear about your vet visit! I hope your new food helps and you don't have to have thyroid tests. Hope your knees don't give you a hard time - this is a good chance to get Tanner to do stuff for you, to preserve your knees!
Love Clover xo
P.S. I also lose my fur (allergies) - have you seen my lips? Don't feel so bad, ok?

12:07 PM  
Blogger vix said...

Vandelay has some skin thingies too, and humans can get them too -- not to worry! And baldness can be awesome, cos look at your Dad, right? I look forward to seeing what your dinners look like with the new supplements or new food or whatever they gave you!

12:50 PM  
Blogger Lola Smiles said...

Joey baby: the poor kneess...who cares about the hair dude...I'd so want less hair if I lived in the sun like you do. I think bald is sexy! ;0

2:25 PM  
Blogger BenTheRotti said...

OMDog Joe.. they stole your poop!
Arthur-Itus.. I know him he lives a few houses down from me. I would be worried if I was geting him too he is a grumpy old fool who hates anyone making noise within a 100 mile radius of him.. and complains loudly when they do.
As for bald patches.. well.. at least they don't diminish your handsome looks.. some day i may show you mine.. and mine can't be fixed! Mine are thanks to an angry german shepherd.. but thats another story all together.
Sorry you had to go see the dreaded V., lets hope the new food fixes things and you dont need a Thyroid Test.. if you do lets hope it is negative or you may be banned from the 2012 Pawlympics for Thyroid Abuse.. and have any medals revoked for this years!

On an alltogether different subject, I just randomly came accross a video of you and Tanner singing!! I never knew you were such a talented pair.. and why haven't i seen that video before.. and how come Dave and Zim sing like a pair of girls??

Mum laughed so hard I thought she was having a seizure!

Ben xxxxx

3:11 PM  
Blogger wally said...

OLD DUDES RULE! I get those skin tags, too! And sometimes I lose fur, too, but it is seasonal with me so probably stupid Al Urgee is buggin' me. I hope your new food helps and I hope that your luxuriating patella doesn't give you problems. And I have Arthur Itis and Spondy Losis. Jeez--I do sound like an old man! Anyway--we're just gettin' better with age.

wally t.

5:41 PM  
Blogger Butchy & Snickers said...

Hey Joey,
Be sure to get a full thyroid panel. Snickers & I are both Hypothyroid & take the hormone pills daily. Even if your tests turn out ok, they will have a normal baseline of your numbers.
Luv & Wirey Hugs!
Butchy & Snickers

6:18 PM  
Blogger The Girl said...

Oh, NO!!! I hate the vet, they steal things, like boy-parts and LEGS!

My Lexi the Min Pin loses her hair lots, too, but if The Girl and The Roommate watch what she eats, she is furrier. I hope you get furrier, too.

The other Min Pin here (we are NOT friends, we ignore each other) has that luxating patella thingy. But she likes to play it up, all whimpy and whining, so she gets more attention. She's a bad one, for sure.

Hope your patellas are okay and that you don't get pain. I recommend playing all this stuff up, cuz it gets Khavana A TON of attention!

I'm going to think really hard about a suggestion for your skin tag name. Contests are fun!

Brown dog kisses,

7:27 PM  
Blogger Bruin said...

Dude! I'm losing hair on my tail too! WTF is up with that???

Also, I had the luxating patella surgery when i was a puppy and let me tell kneecap never ever hurt AGAIN! Its been frickin' AWESOME!. But mine hurted alot before the surgery and it would pop out all the time and I didn't like that and it sucked alot.

Next time just poop AT the vet so your mom doesn't have to bring it in for them. You'll be doing her a HUGE favor.

7:35 PM  
Blogger Super Boy & Baby-Licious said...

This is horrible!!!! We want you to be in the best of health.

Boy n Baby

12:29 AM  
Blogger Sophie Brador said...

Joey! Your belly is cute. And if you end up losing all your hair, you can be a Chinese-crested instead of a BT. I would still be cool with that, sort of. I have lots of those skin tags too. They are weird little things. You should name it. You should also watch the movie How to Get Ahead in Advertising for inspiration.


2:05 AM  
Blogger Maggie and Mitch said...

No wonder you're freezin' to death all the time, Joey! You're losing your fur!
We hope the new food makes it grow back lush and wonderful!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

2:46 AM  
Blogger Willie and Waylon said...

Those are humliating photos... going to the vet is bad enough... we never thought of you as a thyroid user..

7:03 AM  
Blogger Lady Kaos said...

You poor thing! At first I thought your mom was weird for baging your poop, now I know your vet is weird for taking it from her! I get worried now when Mom comes home early and loads us up into the car when she should be at work. A trip to the vet and a trip to the groomer is usually what that means. I hope your testing goes good. I'm sure they won't find any in your system! That's just crazy!!!

8:27 AM  
Blogger A&S said...

the vet is no fun except for leaving it. luxating patella is common in shibas, too...

3:27 PM  
Blogger Amy said...

Vets, I LOVE mine. I had a luxating patella too. Mine wouldn't stay in and that is why I had to have that surgries and I looked like ROBO dog for awhile. They can rate it and if its a 1 then it isn't as serious....I couldn't walk because mine wouldn't go back in byiteslf and I kept limping like a limper. Mr. Whisk has a skin tag on his footy. He doesn't like anyone to touch it.....The fur thing is you itch alot? Our scottie used to itch all the fur off his face. I hope that your mom doesn't take you back to the vet for a LONG time. Mr. Whisk hates the vet so much he poops when he gets there haha. Hope you aren't too mad at your mom that you stain stuff. This is under my moms name cuz she was signed in to gmail. Love ya! Lillie

4:49 PM  
Blogger Stanley said...


I hate the vet too, sooo I'll join you in hating yours (but my girl says it sounds like he's taking very good care of you even if it doesn't feel like he is).

Bummer about the knees, but what a cool party trick, huh?

I agree that you may need round-the-clock care from your Sophie. Just having her in the same room would make you feel better.

We hope your bald belly DOES get his own name. I already have a couple of possibilities rolling around in my head.

Keep us posted, man.

Goober love,

7:37 PM  
Blogger happy said...

Vet visits sure isn't fun. Glad to hear it's nothing serious though. It's ok if you are losing some hair, you still look really charming.

8:51 PM  
Blogger The Army of Four said...

You must have very special poop for them to collect it and admire it like that. Awesome!

4:48 AM  
Blogger Ocie Jane said...

OMDOG Joey! We could be twins!!! I, too, have a hairless tail and bad knees (sob!). I lost my front leg in an accident, which caused my weight to shift since I only have three legs now. The weight change caused me knee to POP OUT! My mommy & daddy took me back to the vet and he fixed it all up but it was no fun because I only had TWO good legs to walk on and mommy had to help me pee. But I am all better! Now I take glucosamine (Dasuquin) for my joints so it doesn't happen again. My tail is balding, too. This makes me very sad, but at lease you're not alone. We should create a support group!!
Talk to you later, Joey! ~Ocie Jane~

12:01 PM  

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