Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Friday, July 25, 2008

Mother Russia...

So as you know I am investigating a suspicious accident that has left my girlfriend with a terrible injury. Sophie danced for the Imperial Russian Ballet in her past, and I wonder if there may be a stalker out there who was a fan of hers back in the day. Perhaps that stalker has enlisted the help of some Mafia types to get back at her...

So as part of my investigation Mom insisted I need to look the part of a Russian...
joe torture
uh, a BABUSHKA??? Mom, do I look like a little old lady to you???

joe torture
You gotta admit I do look kind of cute...but cute will not get to the bottom of this!! I had Tanner fly me to Russia.

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After some nosing around I was told to head to this bar and ask the bartender for some 'Imperial Vodka'. That was the code word to get me some information on this 'Teddy' fellow from Killington who maimed my Sophie.


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She took me behind this curtain where I grilled her...

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Look here lady, I am Joseph Stains and I am here for some 'Imperial Vodka' Do you know what I am saying????

Well, I can't really remember much after that but my digital camera has this pic on it...

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I guess when you ask for Imperial Vodka in Russia, you REALLY DO get it. ooof. I guess I will try again this weekend....

32 Stains:

Blogger Deetz said...

I am roaching on the floor holding my belly.....way too cool...Have a glorious weekend.
Deetzy

1:14 PM  
Blogger Petey said...

I don't know which photo made me laugh harder - the first or the last! Good luck with your investigation.

And wish me luck for my first day with Gaia this weekend. I may need some pointers (no pun intended) for dating a taller woman...

Your pal,

Petey

1:43 PM  
Blogger Peanut said...

oh my dog haroo haroo to funny. I bet they got you drunk though so you would stop asking questions. Those people are hiding something

1:46 PM  
Blogger Lola Smiles said...

lmao - you're cwazy Joey! Cwazy!
Did your head hurt the next day?

1:53 PM  
Blogger Sophie Brador said...

Joe! Beware of roaming packs of Russian women in matching red dresses. They will almost always get you drunk.

xo
SB

2:29 PM  
Blogger Eric said...

Joe how brave to venture behind the Iron Curtain!! Not many dogs have made it there and back ... oooh but you are not back yet...Golly gosh. Um.. best stay sober Jo and if you hear anyone in a bar asking "for a shot of Russian in that please" make sure you dive for cover.

Worried wags,Eric

2:45 PM  
Blogger Lacy said...

w00f's Joey and Tanner...me likes ur kerchief...heehee iffin u drunk all dat in dat last pictur, no wonder u had to take a rest...

b safe,
~rocky~

3:18 PM  
Blogger Maggie and Mitch said...

OMG, you've got us all rolling on the floor here, Joey! You are just too side-splittin' funny!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

3:33 PM  
Blogger Khyra The Siberian Husky said...

That looked like a lot of from Russia with love -

Keep up the good gumshoe work!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

3:47 PM  
Blogger The Aphasia Decoder.... said...

With all those cute girls in that last photo no wonder you got bogged down in your investigations. That's a lot of girls to frisk and question.

Levi's mom

5:35 PM  
Blogger Darcy said...

Good grief, Joseph, you're totally blitzed and the weekend's barely begun! Way to go! ;-)

5:36 PM  
Blogger wally said...

Oh man. You gotta watch the potato water, man.

My Auntie Ira is Russian. Surely she can help!

wally t.

6:02 PM  
Blogger Snowball said...

I love that dreamy look you have on your face in the last picture. You are a cute and handsome dude always.

Luv

Snowball

6:06 PM  
Blogger Agatha and Archie said...

Oh boy the babushka has Archie ROLLING on the floor.....We didn't know you were fluent in Russian..go over to our blog..we have tribute to you and Tanner....love A+A

6:45 PM  
Blogger Lillie Valentine said...

You look so coote in that babooshka. Can you put it on Tanner? My mom tells me that my grammy still wheres a babooshka. That is scawie.

7:20 PM  
Blogger Lorenza said...

Hi, Joey!
If things go in the same way... I am not so sure you will find the culprit!
I hope the vodka was good!
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

7:28 PM  
Blogger Patience-please said...

Oh you are going to need cousin Guido more than ever!!! We will send some Grappa with him to combat the Russian vodka with.

wags from the whippets

8:09 PM  
Blogger Suki Sumo said...

Whoa, that is a saucy photo. But why are those ladies wearing bedsheets?

8:41 PM  
Blogger umekotyan said...

Hello joey.
The time of Russia is time of the vodka.
Please dance the weekend with a red volley dancer. :)

from loved ume tyan

8:47 PM  
Blogger Charlie Daniels said...

Thanks for the laugh Joe. You have made my day.

Cheers

Charlie

9:11 PM  
Blogger Cubby said...

LOL! Good try!

9:53 PM  
Blogger Mango said...

Careful Joey, those folks can be rough trade. Just keep your mean face on. You will solve the mystery for sure.

Slobbers,
Mango

2:05 AM  
Blogger Mack said...

I just hope Sophie doesn't get mad at you for hanging around all those ladies!

2:49 AM  
Blogger Abby said...

Hi, Joey...

Enjoy the vodka & the ladies...

I'm laughing too hard to type anymore...

Abby xxxooo

4:39 AM  
Blogger Noah the Airedale said...

That's hysterical Joey.
Um how's the head matie.

Noah xx

4:50 AM  
Blogger Jackson said...

Hehehe, love the babushka photos! J x

5:21 AM  
Blogger MJ's doghouse said...

oh man stains..you coulda got yourself in some big trouble with the vodka in russia...that is like holy water to them...i hope those girls arent holding the empties....you look totally smashed in the last photo...i hope tanner flew you home before you got yourself in a predicaments that sofie may or may not be too proud of

9:08 AM  
Blogger Pacco de Mongrel said...

sorry to hear about ur girlfriend...

if u need a help from thug... i'm here....

10:03 AM  
Blogger Moco said...

Take care the Russian Mafia is known to be ruthless! That is some kind of blackmail photo.

10:29 AM  
Blogger T-man said...

Way to go Joey!! You're the man!!

9:08 PM  
Blogger Petra said...

Joey, you never cease to amaze me. You are my hero over and over again.

10:08 AM  
Blogger The Army of Four said...

Mom put Amber in a babuschka one time. It didn't go over real well. Note I said "one" time.
Play bows,
Zim

8:12 AM  

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