Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Thursday, May 01, 2008

The Rest of the Story....

So I am here today to share with you the details of my past. Some of you know the story of how I came to have the Mom and Dad that I have, but some do not. About 9 years ago My Dad was dating a girl who is not my Mom who I have right now. This girl decided she and Dad needed a dog. She did not ask Dad his opinion on this and like many unknowing consumers, she purchased me from a Pet store in the mall. To make a long story short, that girl did not want me or my Dad anymore and she wanted to sell me. Dad said screw you and took me and we moved back to my Grandparent's house. At that time my puppy papers were filed and locked away until just this past week. Now I am going to reveal my troubled past. I am glad I have my friends to support me through this journey.

At first I couldn't even look. I made Tanner take the first glimpse.

He said I was from a place called Miss Surey. I said what are you TALKING about?

Then Mom said, no it is Missouri, and she showed me on the map. That is pretty far from a mall in AZ.

Then there was this paper that said I was pure bred. Mom looked at the name of the place that the paper work was prepared for and googled it. Sure enough, it was a puppy mill :( :( :( Oh the horror :( :( One good thing is that the place has since been shut down. But that is only a drop in the bucket for all the terrible ones that are still out there.

It only gets worse from here...

Tanner then informed me that I had to have a skin scrape because I had MANGE! MANGE!! I couldn't believe it! No wonder I am so darn angry. The paper work also said I was born on March 9th, came to the mall in AZ on May 13th, but wasn't actually purchased until the first week of July!!! I think I have earned the right to make every single stain I have ever produced after that horrible beginning.

And now, the worst of the worst... please take a look closely where it says Patient...

Yes, my dear friends, my first name was Woody. WOODY?! The girl who bought me (and by the way I was NOT cheap, but I like to think of myself as priceless) named me Woody after my Dad's middle name of Woodrow! Dad promptly changed that to my correct name of Joseph Stains.

Can you believe the amount of trauma I have been through as I digest this information.

I think I need a drink....

48 Stains:

Blogger vix said...

Joey, I think I need one too. That is a torrid tale and really depressing, but considering the happy home you have now and even putting up with the Doofus, it has been a long road but a worthwhile journey, I'd say!

5:56 PM  
Blogger Super Boy & Baby-Licious said...

That may be a depressing but put the past behind you. NOW is all that matters. You have loving pawrents and a doofus brother and your life is pretty great so dont think too much about it.

By the way, we think Joey palooza should remain. Is there anywehere we can sign a petition about this?

Boy n Baby

6:15 PM  
Blogger Asta said...

What twauma, what howwow!!!
Pleez don'tdwink youw life away, although I must admit you have good weason..just be angwy and make stains..I can't believe you wewe at the stowe fouw days aftew youw Birfday???!?!?!?!
That is majow joey aboose..
You have all my sympafy and suppowt..and I think we should continue the gwand twadition of's the least they can do to twy to make up fow such howwows
smoochie kisses

6:31 PM  
Blogger Bruin said...

OMG you're from Missouri like me! Maybe we're related???

Puppy Mills suck! Good thing you got rescued and that place got shut down. Missouri is getting ALOT of the puppy mills shut down!

If you feel like coming back home to Missouri, The Mom and I will totally put you up!

7:25 PM  
Blogger Ruby Bleu said...

OMD Joe...I have wet eyes just reading about your sorry. Thank dogness for your Dad! I think you totally deserve to keep Joeypalooza on the fact I demand it!

Lots of Licks, Ruby

7:28 PM  
Blogger Noah the Airedale said...

Crikey pass the bottle, we need a drink after reading that. You poor bloke. All we can say is thank dogness for your dad, he rescued you!! Hey we can drink to your future matie.
It's got us thinking, we don't know much about Lucy's past which is pretty sad really.

Hugs and tail wags
Noah Willow Tess & Lucy

7:46 PM  
Blogger Two Wild and Crazy Guyz said...

Poor Joe, now wonder you're attitude isn't always so sunny. Woody, huh? Ozzie can relate. Before he came to live here with us his name was Hank, and then it was Clint. We are his third home (3rd time's a charm they say.) At least he didn't come out of one of those awful puppy mills though....Oh Joe, we have a whole new kind of respect for you now Dude! Joey Palooza MUST stand!!!

8:13 PM  
Blogger Willie & Waylon said...

We have a confession - we were puppy mill dogs too. We just are so lucky to have our mom & dad who love us so much (even with our vet bills)
We think there should be a Joey palooza....

8:21 PM  
Blogger Gus said...

Dear Joe...thank you for sharing your story..I think it was very brave of you. And I think I like your Dad even better now that I know he saved you from being sold.

We don't care what your name was...we love you, we even love Tanner

Gussie n Teka

8:21 PM  
Blogger Ike said...


8:29 PM  
Blogger Moco said...

Get a grip there Joe. I would guess all that staining has to do with the PTSD that you are suffering from your questionable past. Look forward, big guy. For most of the last nine years you have had to best of lives. You are lucky that your Dad told the evil woman to hike off the short pier. You and Tanner have the best Mom now. Live for today, you can't change the past. Only learn from it and move on.

8:30 PM  
Blogger Lorenza said...

Hi, Joey!
Sure is sad to know your past... but... hey.... it is history!!!
Your present life is sooooo good! You have your Dad, your Mom, your Tanner.... hmmmm.... yes, he is important too!
I will open a Corona and I will drink it in your behalf!
Kisses and hugs

8:40 PM  
Blogger MJ's doghouse said...

oh my are what telethons are all about joe...would you like us to start one and get some money to help you with your psychiatrist had it bad...thank dawg your dad took you and loved you soooooooooooo much

8:55 PM  
Blogger Patience-please said...

Joe Stains you are the luckiest dog in the world!!! when we think of what might have been. Our servant fights fights fights against puppy mills. Good for you to get the word out, and YAY the place was shut down. YAY YAY YAY!!! And BAZILLION YAYS for your Dad and your now Mom who is a great cook!

wags from the whippets

9:33 PM  
Blogger Arabella said...

What a terrible life you had - I bet you can hold this over your parents heads for a lot of treats!

9:36 PM  
Blogger Mr. T-Bone Beasley said...

Oh my crap Joey! Your name was Woody? I almost barfed up my pup-peroni treat! Ewww.

I'm so glad you at least live in a good place now, but I would need a drink too if I were you.

On the bright side of things my human took me to a dog store in that new SanTan Village mall, and they totally make cheeseburgers and fries for us four legged humans!

Tell Tanner that these people must have gotten a hold on of is McDonalds deliveries and thought to make their own! Copy Cats!!!

Mr. T-Bone Beasely

10:33 PM  
Blogger Girl Girl Hamster said...

I can't believe you were a Woody. I'm glad you're with your mom now who's nice to you

~ Girl girl

10:34 PM  
Blogger Amber-Mae said...

Oh my, you came from a puppy mill? That's really sad to hear. I wonder what happened to your poor mama & papa & all the other poor doggies there who were producing all those loverly puppies for their masters? I hope they had a happy ending too like you did. Good thing your dad bought you coz if he didn't, you wouldn't be having this good life right now with your two loving hoomans & your loving Doofus brother. You wouldn't even have been named, Joseph Stains! It would have been Happy or maybe Cute-Cute. BOL! So, you're a lucky pup. I really hope all the puppy mills all over the world will be closed down. It's really sad for all the doggies there. All are suffering for their masters...

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

10:50 PM  
Blogger Sophie Brador said...

Joe, Me and my mom have had so many drinks on your behalf that she currently has the hiccups. Really. I'm not even kidding. It's now 2 a.m. and she's hiccuping all over the place, but she says to tell you that she did NOT have any tequila shots. She left that for that fun and adventure to the students. She also says to tell you that she hasn't managed a tequila shot successfully since she was about 20. Uh huh.

Anyway, that's some story, Joe! I sure hope Tanner is being supportive during this difficult time.


11:04 PM  
Blogger Lacy said...

woof;s joey and tanner...watt a tramatic time u had at dat puppy mill, we sooo happy u got outta there and now wiff u mom and dad and tanner...heehee woody...

b safe,

11:34 PM  
Blogger Simba said...

Hey Woody , there's a snake in the water hole. I love toy story. I bet you wish those papers had stayed where they were.

Simba xx

12:52 AM  
Blogger Mango said...

Oh the horror! Such a troubled past! You are lucky to have found such good humans to be serving all your needs.


2:20 AM  
Blogger Lola Smiles said...

Joey baby: you certainly deserve a scotch on the rocks!! You poor thing you.....!!!

Tell your mom that my mom looks forward to reading your blog daily. Says you always make her smile!!

I'm getting a lil' jealous ya know!!

Big Smooches Joey!
you deserve it!

luv ya,
Lola Smiles

2:29 AM  
Blogger Maggie & Mitch said...

Your beginnings were very similar to Mitch's, Joey! Thank doG you both have the loving homes that you now have! Go ahead and have that drinky poo! You deserve it, buddy!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

3:03 AM  
Blogger wally said...

Joe--Jeez--I didn't know about your dark past. Well, I'm glad you rescued your dad and your mom who is a good cook. And Woody? You are most def the King of Stains. But I think this does change Joeypalooza. You need to make March 9th through the date when you came home in July JOEYPALOOZA. Because you need to make up for all that crap that stupid puppy mill in Misery put you through.


ps. Pour me a drink!

3:51 AM  
Blogger Charlie - The Big Dog said...


Dude, that sux!

But look on the bright side, there's some really great dogs in MO. T-Wolf is there, D'Azul, Capn Mav, so that's all good. But Woody? Well, I got a little something here for you buddy!


4:01 AM  
Blogger Mack said...

What a past!
That girl wanted to sell you??? She has no sense!

4:41 AM  
Blogger The Airechicks said...


OMDog !!! What a begining!!!

Thank DOG for your Dad - What a wonderful life you have today!

Please before you get on the bottle think about some counseling.
Talk this tragic past with your Mom & Dad ...We would hate to have to see in rehab....

You have overcome the tragic past and must move forward...Use you special powers for good not evil....


Have a wonderful day !!

4:55 AM  
Blogger Ferndoggle said...

Woody??? WTF??? You most certainly are a Mr. Joseph Stains. I'm sorry to hear that you came from a puppy mill...but love you anyway!


4:59 AM  
Blogger Peanut said...

How traumatizing It might have been better not to know.

6:57 AM  
Blogger Stanley said...

Joey! I think your dad needs a congratulatory drink for kickin' that chic to the curb (after she didn't want him anymore) and rescuing you from her evil Cruella clutches. Who names a dog WOODY anyway?!

I think you share the same past with my sissy, Stella, except in her puppy mill she was left in a cage by herself near the hog pen. Yep, you heard right. A friggin' HOG PEN!

Dude, at least you know all about it and can move on. Personally, I;ve always known you had a story!

Goober love & smooches,

7:48 AM  
Blogger Cassidy said...

Poor Joey, now me understands why you be an angry Boston. Me hopes you can forget all that stuff now and concentrate on the lovely life you had (maybe Tanner excepted sometimes, tee hee!)

Cassidy x

8:05 AM  
Blogger Petra said...

What an interesting story...whoever would have thought?

At least your dad had the good sense to give you a dignified name, Mr. Joe Stains.

It's a sad story but it has a happy ending. And since you are a public figure, this background may help you have more empathy for the poor and downtrodden.

8:53 AM  
Blogger Lady Kaos said...

Holy cow Dude! That's terrible finding out all this new information! After all this, Joey Palooza can't be cancelled, it MUST be extended. I'd say from March 9 to the first week of July should work! (That would mean is should still be going on right now!!)
Even though your life didn't start off in a great way, I bet you are happy how it turned out. I know that's how I feel after my ruff start.
Let us know if you need anything, we're here for you. Don't drink too much. I know from personal experience that a hangover is not fun.

9:03 AM  
Blogger Turbo the Sibe said...

Joe Stains is a much better name than Woody. That ex-gf was really stupid!

9:23 AM  
Blogger Clover said...

Oh Joe, I am so sorry to hear about all the troubles you had as a wee puppy.
I am SOOO happy your dad saved you from your original mean mom and got you a super fantastic new mom. You and your family are so lucky to have each other - yaaaaay for happy endings!! :)
Love Clover xo

9:30 AM  
Anonymous WinstonBerry said...

Hi Joey!

I came from Missouri, too! My Lisa saved me from being put down :-(
I was so sad to read your story, but I'm sooooo happy you ended up with the mom and dad you have now, and even Tanner, who all love you soooo much!

I vote to keep Joeypalooza!

Winnie :-)

9:30 AM  
Blogger Murphey said...

Oh my, Joeseph Stains sounds so much more majestic than Woody....Hope the booze made you feel better!


11:30 AM  
Blogger Sparky said...

Oh, that really is depressing about your past! No wonder you feel so bad, Joe...

I'm just so glad you have a happy life now with the humans you live with. Cheer up, my friend! You're loved by everyone around you.

Oh, and I think Joseph Stains is a wayyy better name the Woody!

Today's FURDAY, and I hope you have a grrrrEAT weekend.


3:35 PM  
Blogger Willie & Waylon said...

Our mom just noticed your scotch collection - she said very nice!

7:09 PM  
Blogger Rudy said...

That's such a bad beginning but now you're so lucky to have a good home. Even we non-puppy-mill doggies have bad starts, like the two that my Mom recently fostered but now they have good homes too.
I'd drink too if my name were Woody... (hee hee)

(I promise I won't call you Woody)

7:11 PM  
Blogger Cubby said...

Poor little Joe!

1:32 PM  
Blogger Toby said...

Awww Joe, don't think too much 'bout the past. All that matters now is that you got an awesome Dad and and awesome Mom and an awesome Doofus which all makes an AWESOME family!

5:29 PM  
Blogger Deefor said...

What a story! But you're here and that's what's important. My mom wanted to name Arrow Woody cause they found him wandering the highway. The bearded one wanted Padfoot so they compromised. But your name is perfect.


7:57 PM  
Blogger Comet and BLU said...

We would need a drink after finding out all that information too! Joe Stains is a much better name than Woody! We are too embarrassed to tell our girl the original names we had before she got us.

10:07 PM  
Blogger The Army of Four said...

Woody just ... doesn't quite fit for you. Cute name, just not for you. I can't see it.

9:20 AM  
Blogger Agatha and Archie said...

OMD we are so far behind in our reading..we would need a drink too but thank goodness THAT IS ALL IN THE PAST!!Life is good now buddy so forget all about it...Love A+A

3:06 PM  
Blogger Lenny said...

Hey Joe, that's pretty cool you found your records, and it's great that you are definitely in a better place now.

"Woody" really doesn't fit you. Joe Stains is much more dignified. How did Tanner get his name? (Tanner, not Doofus, as that is quite obvious)

When my people found my vet records, they found out my birthday was the same day as their anniversary. And my old name was Skippy, which is about as dignified as Woody.

Your friend, Lenny

9:32 AM  

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