Joe Stains

This is the blog of an angry old boston terrier. (and his little brother Tanner who gets to post every Tuesday)

Monday, February 25, 2008

Be Prepared!

I hope you guys are getting ready for Joey Palooza! Ruby suggested we could use Aire Ruby to go somewhere to celebrate, like maybe to Sophie's house, but I had to think about it. I don't know if I could handle it there, it is like negative 30 gazillion degrees all the time. I think instead of a party all together Joey Palooza should be a time to party with your family! My family is pretty great, except for that Doofus. However, you must prepare your home for Joey Palooza! Tell your humans to make a list of the following MUST HAVE items!


You have to have cheese and salami. These items are necessary and required for my happiness. While this is a party for you and your family you are still celebrating JOEY PALOOZA. So if your parents say NO say JOE SAID SO!


SNACKS! You have to have chips and popcorn, it is absolutely required!!


BACON!!!!!!!!! Don't let them get that fake bacon or turkey bacon, you gotta have the real deal. I inspected this one and it is the good stuff!

WARNING: Prolonged exposure to unopened bacon can result in the following side effects!!


CRAZY EYES!


EXTREME SHAKING!!


TRANCE LIKE STATE!!!

ok, whew, we barely came out of that one.

Finally, if you don't have any of this stuff, do not give up!!


There is always TAKE OUT! If your humans are still not buying this, show them this next picture.


I am THE JOE STAINS, look into my eyes, pick up the phone...order the food...

40 Stains:

Blogger Willie & Waylon said...

This is kinda like Festivus, but WAY better. We love bacon and we love when the guys shows up at our door with a box of food - it is flat and round with lots of tasty goodies on it... we usually just get thrown crust though.

6:56 PM  
Blogger Peanut said...

Oh my we will have to get our mom to get us all that stuff. I better be good or probably won't happen though.

7:10 PM  
Blogger Gus said...

We are ready here! We gots lots of stuff, good slami, good gooey cheese, pizza crusts to make your own, pop CORN, chips, mexichips, salsa, beers, wine....hey, maybe you can come over.

kisses
gus

7:20 PM  
Blogger Super Boy & Baby-Licious said...

We are making a checklist, hmmm we are very sure we have the bacon n cheese. We must check the sashimi thou.

Love
Boy n Baby

8:00 PM  
Blogger Tadpole said...

Oh, I am going to print out a POSTER SIZE print of that last one.... My girl is pretty stubborn about feeding me stuff, so I'm going to start working on her NOW!

8:05 PM  
Blogger Sophie Brador said...

Hey Joe, It looks like you're about to order up some pizza in that last pic. You so totally could come to my house for Joeypalooza, but it will still be yucky cold out. It's almost March and were getting another 15 cm of snow tomorrow. Maybe I can sneak down to your place for the big event, if I can find a cab driver whose willing to take me to the airport.

xo
SB

8:08 PM  
Blogger Sophie Brador said...

p.s. I could bring you some Canadian bacon. hahaha hhaha hhahaha hhaha hahaha

8:09 PM  
Blogger Moco said...

We want all that stuff and take out too. How could we celebrate without all those wonderful Joey snacks?

8:19 PM  
Blogger Snowball said...

So what have you ordered? A pizza?

Luv,
Snowball

8:23 PM  
Blogger Girl Girl Hamster said...

I love cheese... Yeah.. your birthday is such a pawsome celebration.

~ Girl girl

8:24 PM  
Blogger Asta said...

I A M G O I N G N O W ...I A M B U Y I N G E V E R Y T H I N G Y O U H A V E S U G G E S T E D O H G R E A T J O S E P H S T A I N S

( hehehehe, you did it Joey, Mommi is stawing in a funny way and heading fow the deli hehehe..thanks! it's going to be a gweat Joeypalooza)
smoochie kisses
Asta

9:11 PM  
Blogger Comet and BLU said...

I think you better turn up your superpowers Joey - Our girl is still saying no no no - especially to the salami and bacon.

9:27 PM  
Blogger Lorenza said...

Hi, Joe!
My mom read your post and she is not convinced yet about getting all those yummy things for me! Could you please talk to her??
Kisses and hugs
Lorenza

9:46 PM  
Blogger Luckie Girl said...

The last pikture of you is sooo compelling that I had to try to get to the phone and dial the numbers O N E by O N E...yes master...

1:18 AM  
Blogger MJ's doghouse said...

i am soooooooo making my parents read this blog...wow..bacon is one of my fave...and butter...can you add the pound of butter..pulllleasse...the parents have been pretty good about putting it in the dang fridge...Joey my mom is giving the spca a gift certificate for your birthday...it says from joe stains...she figures you will do pretty good with gifts...and cuz your her fave blog...she loves alot of others...but you are number one...that she is donating for you....so happy joey paloooza.....

1:39 AM  
Blogger Simba said...

I suppose the best way to avoid the side effects is to rip the packet open. You certainly have everything covered.

Simba x

2:40 AM  
Blogger Mango said...

Joey, thanks for the tips on stocking up for the party. Especially thanks for the unopened bacon warning. That stuff looks lethal.

2:49 AM  
Blogger Maggie & Mitch said...

You've got all of our favorite food there, Joey! We're totally drooling here!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

3:02 AM  
Blogger Mack said...

I think Joeypalooza should be a national holiday. And it should be at least a week long.

5:39 AM  
Blogger umekotyan said...

Good evening joey.
The preparation of the party is made.
I have a hearty laugh eyes that see bacon.
Order the pizza and, and ..the defeat at the expression... :)
hahaha

from loved ume tyan

6:09 AM  
Blogger Amber-Mae said...

WOW!!! Cheese, bacon & some other great stuff! *lick lips* You are sure gonna have a great time! Are we invited?

Love licks,
Solid Gold Dancer

6:24 AM  
Blogger Murphey said...

Whoa Joe, I looked into your eyes in the last photo and I wanted to call and order takeout, but I don't have fingers to dial, so I gotta get the lady to look.

I like Joey Palooza, I am going to go make our list NOW.

Murph

7:58 AM  
Blogger Ferndoggle said...

Now this is the kind of party preparation we can really get into! Especially the salami...YUM!

Sherman

8:12 AM  
Blogger Balboa & Mommy said...

I'm gonna tell what my mom and dad what they need to get right now.

I agree with Tad, I'm gonna print out a large poster of that last picture, this way my mommy won't even have a chance to say no!

Frenchie Snorts
Balboa

8:14 AM  
Blogger Ike said...

I hope you actually got some bacon after that torture!
Ike

9:11 AM  
Blogger The Army of Four said...

Ooooh, VERY effective stare, Joe! VERY effective!
Hey, we could all meet in Absentia! We celebrate there all the time.
Play bows,
Zim

9:13 AM  
Blogger Pacco de Mongrel said...

i wanted to celebrate the special day wit u guys too...

Joey Palooza!!

9:29 AM  
Blogger Petra said...

The voice of authority, THE JOE STAINS, has spoken.

Hey, Motch, listen up: "Joe says so"!

11:03 AM  
Blogger Patience-please said...

Plenty o'salami and cheese at our house at all times.
We have something else at our house right now that you might like to come and immediately savor: Luscious Lindy Loo is sporting Channel no. Whoop Tee Doo!!!
wags from the frustrated whippets

11:19 AM  
Blogger Suki Sumo said...

Joe, great idea. I'm going to work on my peeps tonight.

12:15 PM  
Blogger Lola Smiles said...

I vote for you JOE!! Muah!!!!

Bacon, popcorn, cheezies...yummy!

Rock on, I'm there!

luv ya,
Lola Smiles

1:40 PM  
Blogger COL. Sam ASTA-fari Joe H. Pinkerton Peabody, Esq said...

WE are ready for Joe Paloooza. We got the bacon, we got cheese, (they don't deliver pizza where we live, but we got one in the freezer), we got burger, we got all sortsa stuff. WE are ready, Joe. Let the party roll.

2:46 PM  
Blogger wally said...

Yessss! I think your party idea is great. THough for your burpday I think you should put Doofus on a plane and send him to Canada. But not Sophie Canada, like way up North where it is just ice.

wally.

ps. My ma ape says that bacon gives me pork butt/gas ass. But she promised she will deal with it for JOEYPALOOZA!

3:23 PM  
Blogger Agatha and Archie said...

OMG PL2 looked into your eyes and she went and got CHINESE FOOD!!!! She said,I don't know why but I have to go get take out!!!!! YOU RULE OH GREAT ONE Love A+A

6:59 PM  
Blogger Deefor said...

Bacon is the greatest! The smell of it cooking drives me nuts. And the other stuff looks good too.

Deefor

11:16 PM  
Blogger Martha said...

OMD I can't wait! I'm gonna make my dad go to Wing Station in your honor. I hope you like 3 alarm. Love, Martha

1:36 PM  
Blogger Cassidy said...

Wow, the bacon has made you both go crazy eyed! Me wants to try some now!

Nibbles
Cassidy x

4:23 AM  
Blogger Lacy said...

woofies Joe and Tanner...yummmmy, me likies ur way of pawtying...me luvs bacon and me likies beer....pop corn is good tooo...yummmy me gittin hungry now....

b safe,
;)lacylulu

12:26 PM  
Blogger Lenny said...

I'm so excited about JoeyPalooza! What a great idea. I need to start planning...I'll have to sneak in some meaty snacks.

Your friend, Lenny

11:14 AM  
Blogger Cubby said...

Mesmerizing - I hope it works!

10:20 PM  

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